Actual guy problems, kinda not really drama, lol

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sorry if i write too much, i just have a lot on my mind.

alright, all i have been posting lately is about drama, but i guarantee, this is just boy problems.

earlier i had talked about not being able to be myself around that guy, ryne. well when i was over at his house one time, this happened on july 1st, he had this other friend over.

as usual, guys always come and talk to me, seriously, i just try and keep to myself, but i dunno, it was easier talking to this guy, his name is chris. well it was pretty obvious what he wanted from me, everyone could tell, even me, but maybe i just didn't want to notice.

the funny thing is, he actually went to high school with me (same grade and everything '04), but he never knew me, i knew of him, though.

the whole night he kept trying to make out with me, or i could tell he wanted to at least, but didn't try. we even had a chance to make-out NOT in front of everyone ((when we went to get food for people, it was just me and him, and i still wouldn't cave)).

things between ryne (he has a girlfriend now tho) and i were already not good...and well...yea...he prolly thought it woulda been more rude of me to make out with one of his friends in front of him.

lucky for me, my whole entire family for once, was out of town, and i was able to bring a guy over. i have never had a guy spend the night at my house before chris.

so i figured, maybe i'd let him come over and get to know him, see what he's like when he's just with me, ya know...and ya, all the while i did know what he wanted.

the whole entire time at ryne's and getting food, etc. i did not make out with him.

even when we first got to my house, i didn't do anything with him, we just sat on the computer and listened to music for a while. and then finally i don't know why, but i was like fine ((he didn't say anything, i was just thinking it)), so i made the first move and he was like, "i have been wanting to kiss u all night."

this is the first time i've ever tried so hard not to do ANYTHING with a guy (including making out...well i dont think im as much of a skank as fugly bitch, not even close ... she has a couple of kids and still whores herself around bars, i'm just saying it's not bad to make out only with guys i guess, heh). seriously, i wouldn't let him go down on me, and he definitely tried to go down there like once or twice, and i wouldn't do anything to him. we just made out a lot 'n stuff.

well, i dunno, he didn't have any protection, i had some, but i never told him, so i was like, too bad. but he did say he wanted to tease me, and so he did...if it was in there, but we weren't really going at it. does it count? like just in there for a tease, then i told him to stop before really getting at it and he did....does it count?

now i can't get him off my mind. i just keep thinking what would have happened if i still did let him spend the night, but we didn't "do it."

i didn't bother asking for his number, but earlier we had already added each other to facebook, so we do have a source of communication. since july 1st, he's only replied to one message and hasn't tried to contact me since. and i haven't really tried anymore either.

actually, he was the one that brought up about the number thing. he was like, "i don't have my cell with me." and i was like, "oh ok," and i didn't push any further. cuz i know u don't need the other person's cell to get a number. i could have asked and just stored it into my phone to call him and he could have had a missed call, but i didn't want to. i guess.

so ryne and buzy, naturally asked chris if he had sex with me, cuz they all knew...and chris told them yes, but from what i have described, does that count? some say it does and some say it doesn't. i'm just confused.

er... I think what you did was something sexual, but I don't think I would really call it sex. Like, it's not really sex yet, it was just doing something sexual to him, in other words, somewhere in between sex and, well, not-sex. That's my opinion, anyway. Because it'd be wrong if they accused you of having sex because really it's not the same kind of sex you and me think of when you hear the word, "sex."

If all your asking is would that be considered sex, I would say yes.I wouldn't expect to much more from the guy. Though hooking-up is apparently becoming the norm, you might keep in mind that for a lot, if not most, women it's a rather empty experience. A lot of women find after time that such fleeting encounters don't fulfill their needs. However, it works great for the guys because they'll find another hook-up next week. That's why I say I wouldn't expect much more from this guy, unless of course he's horny and your paths, by chance, happen to cross again.I'm not preaching or judging, just giving some food for thought.

Sex is a lot more than putting a dick in pussy, that's intercourse. The kind of intimate contact the OP described I would say rises to the level of sex.

You make a good point there; I perceived it wrong I guess. Thanks for clearing me up :]

sigh...i guess i did have sex with him. gahh...it wasn't really anything either just a "dick in a pussy" lol. i do want to count him but i don't, and even if i don't, i guess i have to anyway, :-p. it sucks cuz i didn't really get to enjoy it either, hehe...

yeah, i can't help but wonder if he's already hooked up with someone else a few days after...because when he replied to the one message, he did say he was drunk, and um...it was the 4th of july, but i wasn't with him or anything, eh...i just have a hunch he already has hooked up with someone else, i don't know if it was sex, though

i'm not sure what the problem is, i guess it's because i actually tried for once not to do anything with someone and it just happened to be him, even making out ((i tried not to))...we didn't like start that until a lil while after we even got to my house when we were by ourselves, too. i'm just really depressed about it, heh.

i don't get him either. if i was a guy and that happened to me, i wouldn't count it because it pretty much was nothing, i didn't even try to get him off either. i just made out with him mostly, and well, that "sex" incident, too.

I realize I'm antiquated and out of touch but if you want something more from a guy, even if it's not a full on relationship, why not demand something more, such as an emotional connection, however short lived and tenuous it may be. Spend a little time and find out if you really do like him rather than just lust after him. Then as you get to better know each other, start bringing "sex" into the exploration of each other.I don't know you or the situation but I would be willing to bet the reason you feel depressed is because your longing for a least a little emotional reciprocity from someone you shared such an intimate personal experience with, understood fleeting encounter or not. More than likely, whether you know it or not, you probably want more, you certainly deserve more, so demand more.

I think you may be right! It's just that I've been feeling hopeless lately about guys and all they ever want is sex. He just caught me at a bad timing and made me feel even more hopeless, I suppose.I talked about this to my other friend, and I also finally realized that this was my first One Night Stand ever! Even other guys (I haven't been with many, just a few) that I've been with that were just hook-ups, although I knew what they wanted, we still hung out together, too, and not just hooked-up. But with Chris, it seems as though he doesn't even want to hang out, or maybe I'm wrong, but he hasn't asked me to hang out or something. Really big sigh...heh. It's been like 11 days, too. It appears I may not see him again, cuz I did try and see if he wanted to go out some time, but he hasn't responded about that, just what I asked about something else. I think he leaves in August to go back to Bloomington for school. I'm not sure.But it would be nice to hang out, though. He's definitely a sweet talker.

...update...

ok, so it's now been like 17 days since i actually seen this guy, chris and probably 15 days since i have actually talked to him.

well yesterday i wrote some stuff on his facebook apps and all but it looks like he hasn't gotten online. the only source of communication we have is actually facebook and he hasn't really talked to me on there either except for that one message he replied to like last week...um...drunk...at 2:30am

when he was with me, i wouldn't do anything to him or let him do anything to me. so i guess...maybe it's cuz i gave him blue balls? i dunno.

so tonight, i was really bored and figured i might see what he's up to...do you think he would take it the wrong way? this is coming from a person that has made no effort in contacting me -- perhaps it just turned out that way, or perhaps he does have his reason, after, except for that one response. i just asked what he's been up to nowadays. -- still waiting for a reply for this message that i sent tonight. hopefully he'll respond, *crosses fingers*

i mean, he doesn't respond to my wall post (which was only one last week), but he did respond to that private message...

i guess i'm really depressed by the fact that he made this into a "one night stand" ((which pretty much was nothing, barely something)) and i've honestly never had one and it does feel like shit, heh, like i have posted before.

i'm trying to not necessarily manipulate him, or get with him either, the next time ((if there is a next time)) that i see him, but i'm trying to make this NOT into a one night stand and actually hang out with him, hopefully before he leaves...sigh...

i hope he doesn't know what i'm trying to do though, heh.

well the thing is, i really do wanna tell him a lot that i don't do one night stands, but knowing guys, he'd probably take it the wrong way i guess. and i wouldn't know how to go about telling him in the first place, so that's why i'm trying to be "sneaky" about it.

i'll just be happy with another response from him i guess, heh.

From what you posted the guy sounds like a turd. You can do better than turd.This may sound harsh but chalk it up to lesson learned and move on with your life. It sounds like the guy got what he wanted and now he's off trying to hit some other.Forget about him, you deserve better than that and there are a lot of guys that are better than that. Find one of them and you'll be million times happier.

ya, it seems lately i've been attracting a lot of turds in town i just mind my own business but they still come after me like they do, lol. guess i'll have to wait 'til school starts again to meet some actual decent guys, heh.

so he messaged me back and asked what i was up to, too!!he says, "what are you doing this weekend?" i wonder what that means..hmm...i didn't even mention this weekend to him, i just casually said what has he been doing these days, heh.he says he's going to costa rica in like 6 days before he asked what i was going to do to. and then i responded with something like how he acts like he's too good to hang out with me or something and i see how it is, lol. but then i said j/k...so i dunno how he'll view that, hehe.right now it's raining cats & dogs in indiana. fits the mood, eh.

Originally Posted By: indygirland then i responded with something like how he acts like he's too good to hang out with me or something and i see how it is, lol. but then i said j/k...so i dunno how he'll view that, hehe.Why are you playing mind games? Do want this guy to be in your life or not? After what he did, I say, let him go and that means breaking off contact with him.

i figure he's all talk anyway, like one of those people that'll make plans just to break 'em, so i prolly won't even see him, for the better i suppose. well i just sent that message to see if he would respond is all. other than that, i'm not really talking to him. heh.

Even if he does respond, just let him go. Delete the messages and stop contacting him. You can do much better but you have to take yourself out of this situation. This isn't healthy for you.

i agree with you on this one. a lot of guys dont put up with this crap. i know my man wouldnt. and i dont blame him.

i actually don't know what chris really thinks about me, kinda like a mixed signals thing...for example, he may say nice things to me, but i don't know what he tells his friends; and because of the obvious...contacting me, kinda but not really. i haven't really brought any drama to him, i don't think i have anyway. but he knows about the situation with my friend tara and ryne, cuz he was there afterall. i'm just glad the tara situation was resolved and she finally called me instead of leaving everything online. also, i let the ryne thing go...and i did explain to ryne sometimes i don't feel comfortable talking to certain people, so i dunno bout him, but i haven't talked to him at all either.in the message that chris sent me though, he told me that he's not a drama kinda guy and wish others would be more like him, ha. cuz i told him in the first place that he hasn't given me any like drama drama, i didn't mention any guy problems though.