I don't know what to do...

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ok, so this post is not about my ex, lol. it's about one of my friends. Alright, I have this friend, when, just about every time, or like a half an hour or less after I get online or get back from the computer, or he gets online and he gets back from the computer...he constantly IMs me. sometimes, he hardly has anything to say, and the times I actually do talk to him, he says way too much and it's starting to really get on my nerves.two other people in the past have done this to me before...IM me every time i get on, whenever i get back, etc. and how i solved that was, i tried to ignore their messages for a while, but they kept doing it, so then i straight up told them how it was annoying me as to how much they were IM'ing me. i don't know what to do with this friend, i know he means well, but he IMs me every day constantly. i test him sometimes when i won't have an away message on to see if he'll IM me or not and he ALWAYS does. but if i do have an away message on, he hardly IMs me and when i get back from being away, he then im's me again.so i had it where you can't tell if i'm idle or not but then when i signed on one morning and left it without an away message, he asks...what are you doin' up early..or then he IMs me with u still up? etc. pretty much every day this happens and i don't know what to do anymore...any advice? if i do tell him, i think he will take it the wrong way. so i've been trying to make it seem like i'm not purposely ignoring him. the thing is, he doesn't annoy me in person, just online.

I don't know which IM program you are using, but can you set it so you don't show as online to him?

I use AIM. they have an invisible option, but not to individual users which sucks like yahoo! has. that would be nice if aim did that. i thought about blocking him, and actually did for a few minutes, but then i felt bad, and i don't know if he has any other screen names to find out if i did or not since he talks to me a lot. =/

so then i straight up told them how it was annoying me as to how much they were IM'ing meWhy can't you tell this guy the same thing you told those other guys?

I would, but I'm trying to take a different approach so it doesn't get out of hand. Yesterday, he IM'd me like 5 times and I never responded...I mean after a person thinks maybe 3 times they IM someone, maybe they are busy or don't wanna talk? I just wish I wouldn't have to flat out tell him and hopefully people would get a clue. I mean, he's a lot smarter than me when hittin' the books, but socially, I guess not. See, if I were to IM someone 5 times in a row and they don't respond, then I know they don't want to talk to me, actually it doesn't take me 5 times. Actually, that happened to me yesterday...I IM'd someone twice and they didn't respond, so I got a clue. Wish people would see the same way. It takes me 2 times and I just wish other people would see that without me having to explain them anything =/ I just hate having to explain myself every time what I'm doing whenever he asks. I don't wanna put an away on or anything, but yeah, that leads people believe I wanna talk, sigh...

Why don't you just block him? Can't you tell us which program you are using?

Originally Posted By: indygirlI use AIM. they have an invisible option, but not to individual users which sucks like yahoo! has. that would be nice if aim did that. i thought about blocking him, and actually did for a few minutes, but then i felt bad, and i don't know if he has any other screen names to find out if i did or not since he talks to me a lot. =/ She did...

Oops

It happens.

yeah, i think i'm gonna take the idle off for a little while to see what happens and leave it on. hopefully it won't confuse my other friends who i actually want to talk to as well.

has anyone else have this problem before? where a friend bugs the fuck outta u online, but you're okay with hanging out with them in person? and if so, how do you deal with that?

lol yeah, I use AIM. with all the "improvements" they've been making with it, i think they should come up with something like how yahoo! has it where u can pick the people u want to show invisible as.

Originally Posted By: indygirl has anyone else have this problem before? where a friend bugs the fuck outta u online, but you're okay with hanging out with them in person? and if so, how do you deal with that? Usually when someone is IMing you all the time, it is because they are lonely. They might be stuck at home because of parents, or whatever. When you hang out in person, they are no longer lonely, so maybe not so annoying. You could say something to him like, "Hey, I know your lonely right now, but I have other stuff to take care of, and I don't really have the time right now"???? Or just invite him over to hang out...but that could get risky if he starts to just come hang out all the time.

He's asked me to hang out with him several times, and he knows I don't have a car...but he won't come get me and that gets a bit on my nerves as well because he's always like I should come with my one friend who has a car. Blah, I really don't think he'll ever get the hint because he IM'd me today once again so I finally responded.

The funny thing is, he told my friend that I was the one who gets on his nerves? Yet, he totally gets more on my nerves more than I get on his, that's for sure. I don't know what he's thinking, really.

I do tell him I'm busy sometimes, but later on when he thinks I'm not busy, he'll still IM me. So, it looks like it's another person I'll have to paint the picture for unfortunately...but maybe if I don't give in for after a couple of IMs, he might not IM me anymore, hopefully. I think I'll try that out first to see what'll happen for a few days.

seriously, i just want to scream in frustration right now. every time i sign onto my name this late at like 3am or later, he ALWAYS asks "why are you still up?" and every time i sign off...does he not get it, ugh. i know i should probably say something, but it's just gonna go all wrong, that's why i don't want to say anything. i just wanna sign onto my name, not wanting to talk to him but not wanting to put up an away message in case someone I DO want to talk to IMs me...i know this is nothing to make a big deal about, but his IMs asking me what am i up to, why are you still up, why are you up so early...it's just driving me crazy since he sends them every morning, night and day just about...

Ask him why he is the AIM police, or why he is attached to his computer permanently...

haha yeah, i'd like to see his response to that. but finally! yesterday when he asked me why am i still up, i immediately signed off. then a few minutes later...he IM'd me again, but said that he was sorry if he was bothering me (u think he finally got it?)...i don't know if it was for that day or if it was for all the times he IM'd me but i am not sure if he finally gets it...hopefully...he also knows i was busy with homework. he just asks too many questions and i don't really feel like explaining myself every time he asks them.

ok, so no matter what i do. my friend still doesn't get the picture...honestly, if he doesn't get the picture with subtle hints, and even more obvious hints, then i'm sure he will still IM me even if i do tell him. so, i guess the only thing i can do now is...i decided to block him for a few days. i kinda was getting sick of the 20 questions he kept asking yesterday AND today. argh. i've done all that i can do and what people have been telling me to do, heh.