I'm 18 and decided to have sex with my boyfriend tonight. I've never before been fingered nor have I ever used a tampon. So when he fingered me it hurt really really bad. Not to mention that it kind of felt like I had to get to the bathroom. I don't think that's normal. Then when it came time to actually do it, it hurt so bad I couldn't go through with it. I know it's suppose to hurt but this pain was unbearable and I don't even know how far in he was but I'm betting it was just the tip. Help! I really want to have sex but everytime we try I can't help but scream out oww. Also, is it normal to feel like you have to use the restroom when being fingered? I need major advice about how to help this. Oh and if you're thinking some kind of lube i was already majorly wet. Thanks.
Pain...please please help
Perhaps you need to seriously RELAX. If everytime you're with your boyfriend and all you're thinking is about the pain, then your body will tense up and of course it will hurt.
My best suggestion is for your boyfriend to give you a lot more foreplay so you can relax. Maybe even perform oral sex on you.
yeah thats true, its ur state of mind thats probably the prob. U need to relax.
What the mind believes the body perceives.
When u relax ur vaginal muscles will relax and it wont hurt.If every time u go have sex u'll probably be stressed and anticipating pain so you body will prepare itself for the upcoming pain by tensing up. the oral sex wud help, foreplay or find or create an atmosphere where u are relaxed.
You cud try scented candles, body oils, massages or something else that would help u calm and relax and put you in the mood for sex also.
Our deepest fear is not inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.
not to mention most guys at a younger age will do more damage with their finger than good, get him to perform oral until you both learn more about eachother and what you like and feels good.
I am a person with a job not many would do,
yet I'm a person just like you. I don't want your pity just your respect with understanding of the ...
You see, he did go down on me a bit and I was very turned on. I tried relaxing but it still hurt. I think maybe if I try again but really really slow and have him hold it there until it relaxes will help, maybe?
It's worth a shot.
I'm just not sure how putting on finger inside would cause such pain. I mean, the vaginal canal was designed for a human baby to come out of there.
Ya, but, as we all know, we are all sooooo different.
I, being a labor and delivery nurse for almost 20 years (as in I IS the expert in vaginas) can tell you that there is as many sizes of vaginal canals as there are fish in the sea. The same is true for penis' (or is it penii??).
Personally, the idea of you being tense and feeling like you need to have sex even though it is uncomfortable seems just plain uncomfortable to me. Sex should be accompanied by so much foreplay that somehow the vagina is more readied for the insertion, hymen or not...
You are you and I am I and if by chance we find each other, it is beautiful. (paraphrased)
Frederick S. Perls