I can't take anymore of this.

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I'm losing it. Only a couple people on here know whats going on with me, and I can't take much more of this. I feel like my whole world is tumbling down, and I'M the one who has to decide who can put the walls back up.

You know I'm always here for you.

i know you will be... im just losing it. my body is taking its toll on this too. im gonna break. i know it.

thats how i feel. i just got back from my walk, i didnt want to come back home. it was raining and i was so cold. and i feel horrible. i feel like im falling apart. and i just cant do this shit anymore. all my life ive been trying to please everyone. and i just CANT do it anymore. and i have no idea how to please myself. im losing it.

I suppose the obvious thing to say is, "Then stop pleasing everyone, and discover yourself." but having been there, It really isn't that easy I can tell you what I ended up doing. After it all started to weigh down on me, and affect my lifestyle, I began to get anxious, then stressed, then depressed, then mildly suicidal. So I saw a councilor. And he didn't actually say much, but he helped me outline my plans on how to address some situations. But what really helped me was what my Major told me. He said, "There comes a time when you have to let everything else go, and worry about yourself. You're the only one who can carry yourself around out here. No one is going to do it for you. So the first person to please is yourself."I don't know your situation, and I don't want to sound like I'm telling you some magic catch all that will work, but it's what worked for me. hug

I find it helps to concentrate on little things that are good, like being wrapped up in blankets in bed. When the world becomes too much to bear, it can help to look at the small good feelings that are close.

Try to keep your life as simple as possible. Cancel everything you can.

thanks both of you..

the thing is, i would like to speak to a counseller, but i dnt think it would do much good right now.

if you must know the situation in little detail... basically, my boyfriend and I for almost 4.5 years went on a break tuesday. and im trying to figure out if i want to stay with him, and be unhappy, but try to fix it, like we've been trying to do FOREVER, or move on from it, remain friends with him, and try and make myself happy. plus a lot of other problmes i cant go into detail with right now. it hurts too much.

im fucking lost right now. i think i jsut had a mild breakdown. i turned off all the lights in my room, turned on my music and just curled up on my bed spaced out for about 15 minutes..

and earlier, i tried to take a nap, but i woke up all of a sudden with my heart racing, like it was beating out of my chest, and i felt so stomach sick, i almost threw up, and i just sat in the bathroom and cried.

You may say you aren't sure if it would work, but it really can. Don't go in there expecting it will fix you up, and that you'll leave great, just go in there, hoping for a little head clearing, and you'll be much better off. They really aren't too bad. Sometimes, just talking to a professional can really help.

Originally Posted By: RainNightBlue He said, "There comes a time when you have to let everything else go, and worry about yourself. You're the only one who can carry yourself around out here. No one is going to do it for you. So the first person to please is yourself." I agree. I'm sorry for your tough situation, Ash. I just hope soon you'll see that light at the end of the tunnel and put this past you. You deserve to be happy.

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. I agree with what some of the others have said...talk to a counsellor. Sometimes when you have to put your situation into words, things can become more clear for you than if you just let them roll around inside your head. And you can tell them stuff without having to worry about anybody else finding out what you'd rather keep secret. Just focus your mind on talking to a counsellor, and then do it.

i dont think i can afford a counseller =(

Does assurance, happiness, or mental ease have a price?If you need, then you need.

...We broke up.

hugAre you alright?

im really not.

i had a hard time sleeping. i cried all night. and now i have a huge headache. and i almost fainted a couple times. were still gonna be close friends tho.

I'm a guy, and I did that with my last ex. Of course, the circumstances surrounding it, really don't seem worthy of the emotion I gave her now, at the time, I had period of being on the ground with that dry heave crying motion, with tears and snot and spit and everything rolling over your face where you can't breath and your head pounds so hard you feel it in your teeth.I didn't eat or sleep for 3 days.Not that it's fun, but I think I understand a little.You will be ok. And I know you know you'll be ok. But saying it just doesn't fix it. I know. if you need to cry, you should cry. If you need to yell, you should yell. And let the wounds heal over time. at this point in time the "you'll find someone else" speech really doesn't apply because, if you're anything like I was, you don't want anyone else, or anyone at all for a while. I can't tell you anything you don't already know. And I won't pretend that if I did say it all out loud it would help you. But I will tell you that although I may not know all the things around your situation, that I've been in a similar endpoint, and that, you'll be ok.hug And if it makes you feel better, I'm viking, and my distant ancestors discovered Newfoundland, so there's my secondary connection. You live near my dead relatives

yeah i almost threw up a few times.. it was horrible. i couldnt breathe, and tears and every other fluid you can think of was just streaming down my face. and i felt so horrible. hes on his way up now. so were going to talk about our situation. and omg!! thats so cool about the ancester thing!!! i love newfoundland =) what was their last names? if you know lol

All the Vikings in that settlement died. haha

I'm so sorry, Ash.