You know, one of the most important things that I have said to people over the years, which has been extremely helpful to me as well in regard to having "the talk", is to get used to saying and hearing the word herpes yourself. In my opinion, that is the first step in taking control of living with the virus and having to verbalize the word to a prospective mate.
It was funny, the other night I told a prospective mate while we were riding in the car, private from wandering ears (ie: not in a bar :-) It was difficult to admit to say it, even with all of the practice that I've had, but fortunately, he brought up the subject first of his life, living with Hepatitis B. It was amazing how similiarly these two viruses can be contracted, but yet how different they are as well. He has the attitude, as do I, it is what it is and although, hepatitis may be what sends him to his grave, herpes will not. As I was telling him, I thought back to myself that I have said herpes out loud numerous times and so glad that I did, because it's not so hard for me to hear the words myself anymore.
Trust me, say that word outloud to yourself and get comfortable hearing the words come from your own mouth. I can't quite express how or why that has worked for me, but others have even come back to me, saying how helpful that suggestion has been to them.
HERPES, HERPES, HERPES........say it out loud to yourself.... it's a freeing feeling.... Good luck.