Today was so screwed up... ( Yes .. another venting session.. have really no one else to talk to )... I don't really have a place to hang out anymore.. The guys by were we hang out are so immature.. I dont want to be there anymore.. So today was my last day there.. BUT.. I have no where else to go.. I will now be a loner.. Its just so depressing to think about.. I have to convience my parents to let me go onto home schooling .. independent study.. w/e its called.. For 2nd semester... I cant take anymore BS.. Im tired of it.. Immature idiots.. Stupid people who think there tough cause they hang out in groups.. ( Gangbangers I guess you would call it ) Well.. I could probably hang out with my one friend.. But he hangs out with a few people i dont like ( A small group..so i would be noticed ) .. I just don't know what to do.. Im really loosing my self control.. I dont really care anymore.. Im thinking about just leaving.. ( Sneak off campus) .. I dont have anywhere else to go.. I don't know.. Life is so screwed.. I just kinda want to kill someone.. I punched my door.. It didn't help but now my knuckle hurts.. but i dont really care... Threw my cell phone.. that didn't help.. I just have to get out of there... I can't stand being there anymore.. I just need help conviencing my parents that home schooling ( independent study w/e the name is ) What can I do? My mom thinks I should wait till my junior year.. ( Im on my sophmore year ) I want to go on it 2nd semster ( got a few weeks ) But she tells me.. I should continue experience life how it really is ..that i need to continue to be out there and be social.. I don't want to be... Im getting closer and closer to commiting sucide.. This time i will do it right.. I cant take all this BS anymore..I don't get it.. My dad gets tired of all the garbage at work.. He just gets another job..and quits the messed one.. Why is it so diffrent for me? Im old enough to make my own decisions.. If i they wont let me do homeschooling.. I guess I will just stop going.. They dont like that.. I will make sure I get caught drinking at school.. or doing drugs.. I dont really care anymore.. Now that i will be a complete loner at school.. Whats the point of living?... Well I'm done complaing about my fucked up life.. C ya
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More problems...
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Dealing with stupid idiots is part of the learning process, you learn how NOT to act! As far as being a loner, don't worry about being independant. We come into the world alone, leave alone, what's the big deal. Home schooling can make your social skills suffer, and there are benefits to being in public schools, especially if you're an introvert like me. Hang in there, and try not to throw your cell phone N E More since you might need it in an emergency. Believe it or not, You doin fine!
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If you want to pm me your cell number I'll give you a bell and we can have a chat about things. Don't worry about the bill, I'll pick that up my end on the internet phone.Think before you act mate, I know I can't understand what your going through but I as well as others here are willing to listen.
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yeah man, im at this stage right now, but like i said in the other post, i dont want to hurt my mother. Thats the only thing that is stopping me from commiting a suicide. And dont throw ur cell phone, in the other post u said u have love for things like ur cellphone that u sent to get fixed or something.
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hey
I know what your going through, never really ben part of a group myself, being a loner, not that bad, you get used being alone after a while. used to think it was the end of everything when i left the group i had been in for a while. hurts to begin with but after a while it gets easier. i bin alone for nearly 18 years (my birthday on sat, kinda woohoo! hehe)
you don't wanna go on independant study, like ppl have said, it screws up your social skills, and you will find other friends who you think are mature enough and who you click and connect with.
there more to life than hanging with a group of mates, especially if they not right for you.
hope this helps, not very good at giving advice but i give it my best.
if you wanna chat more pm me or whatever, i can relate and will help you as much as possible sweet.
becky -
Im feeling a little better today... What causes me to throw my phone is like all this built up anger ( this is my other one..not the one i had to send back ) and not always my phone.. other things ( Maybe I need some anger mangement? A few people have told me i need it ) .. The girls i hang out with convinced me to hang out with them today.. The immature guys didn't come over there or anything.. I don't think they were even here.. Which is good.. I know they do it to be funny.. and think everyone gets a laugh out of it.. But I don't.. I have never been real fond of playing around.. Sometimes its fun.. but i like to do different things to play around... Go offroading.. stuff like that... Guess its probably cause I'm more mature.. I like.. more mature activietys.. Mainly what i do for fun is .. Plan my future.. Military ( still decieding ) and then law enforcment..... I kinda went to school with my new attitude today.. ' I don't care anymore' one.. Didn't really look at any girls.. Worked by myself in class.. Lunch i had completly planned to by myself.. But then they insursed me that was yesterday.. and they probably forgot about trying to hit me with a paintball thingy.. There was no trouble.. Why are people such pricks? Im like the most quiet person of them all..and they mess with me.. I do have my momments.. but mostly everyone says I'm the most quiet one.. Just want to hang out and enjoy my break away from class... Not be harrased by high schoolers that act like there in the 4th grade.. One more time.. I just might loose it.. Cause` I dont care anymore.. Ok I have been typign this for a few hours now.. Went out for awhile.. Just makes me hate life more.. Even tho i kinda in a way enjoyed it.. Went shopping for a few hours.. I don't know.. weekend is soon to arrive.. That will probably help.. I will see tomorrow...
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I'm like you in many ways, I don't like fooling around or bringing too much attention to myself. Be careful with the military/ law enforcement thing since having those type of feelings could be detrimental to your career. You might end up shooting the first person that pisses you off. That is the main reason I avoid guns, not to mention they suck major ass.
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I have.
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Guns are tools.. Not weapons.. They want to take guns away because they 'kill' people.. THEY dont.. the person pulling the trigger... Take away cars.. Cars kills lots of people everyday..
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Which, HELLO! If the Gov'nt wanted to screw you over they would. Flame throwers, grenade launchers, ATOMIC BOMBS! That is the stoooopidest arguement I''ve heard, we need protection from the Gov'nt.
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Oh well, diff'nt thread, diff'nt topic!
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Uhhh yeah...
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Vy Thonk You sdp!
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LOL
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Eh? LOL
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Alss I was saying, lil miss takeitallwrong, is that this calls for a different thread, different topic/post. We were taking over homies original post and it didn't seem right, ya know?
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CANT ANYONE GET ALONG?!?!
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nope... doesn't seem that way lol
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Yesterday.. a few people.. Told me.. This last week I'm differn't... They said.. I look I'm sad all the time.. Im alot more quieter.. and I'm just differen't.. This last week.. I have been depressed.. Like always.. But, now i guess its just showing.. Which isn't good.. People are telling me i need help...asap.. I dont want help.. I just want alcohol.. or to die... either one... Life seems to get worse and worse each day.. Not really getting better.. But worse.. I used to be able not to show i was depressed.. It seems i have lost that ability.. Im always depressed when i goto school.. and during the school week.. Is this the problem? I think im gonna fail math.. I got like a D-... With all the work turned in.. If i was out of school do you think i would be happier? I dunno.. Life is just so fucked
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I think the problem with math may be the immediate reason why you are especially depressed, FaBMX, but there is more to it that that. Depression makes every difficulty seem a terrible mountain, while all the good things seem as nothing - it distorts your mental vision.If people can see that you are depressed, you really are seriously depressed - and if those people (who do care about you) say you need help ASAP, then you should seek it, even if you don't want it, because their vision is clearer than yours just now.Life will get better, FaBMX.