A while back I got into cutting and burning myself and now I have the scars to prove it. I think I'm over it now and haven't done it for some time as I seem to have marginalised the things that prompted it. Anyway, what I'm interested in now is, 'how do people explain their scars to people (acquaintances and intimates)?'
They're mainly on my upper arms (but not all high enough to be covered by a short sleeved t-shirt), on my forearms and underneath and some on my chest. When acquainances notice them I tend to say I was in an accident as a kid but I feel really uncomfortable and I'm a bad liar so it probably looks false. However, I can hardly say I used to cut myself to my work colleagues.
What concerns me more is what I might say to future partners. There are too many in concentrated areas that all look similar to lie about but I want to be very careful about scaring people.
As I'm sure most people are, I'm aware of the easy answers ('just be honest', 'if they care about you'll understand' etc...). I thought it'd be helpful to ask for some other peoples experiences.
I'm one of those people that told the truth. Its been 5 years since I cut myself in an area that can be seen. My family found out so I learned to place them in hidden spots. The thing is, if they can see them, they can guess its either abuse from someone else or you did it yourself. Fortunetly my scars are non-existent now, but I don't mind people knowing my past. I have a friend who mutilates worse then I can imagine. She spends the whole year in long sleve shirts. Her close friends know what she does because there is no way its an accident. Easiest and healthiest thing, just say the truth. Those friends that are close friends can handle it. If they don't, they arent a friend. Co-workers and bosses and people you really don't feel comfortable telling, should be given good lies and avoid letting the scars be seen. If the injuries happened in the teens and younger, they should heal with in years. Theres over the counter stuff that supposedly helps heal the scars so they dont stand out as much. Try long sleeve shirts if you must hid them. I don't know of anyother ways to hid it and I come from a group of mutilator's. Another option if you are okay with spending lots of money. Laser treatment should "help" get rid of the marks or make them less noticible. Or at least that is the claim.
I'm not bothered about gettoing rid of the scars. That's life and there a part of me. My parents have commented every now and then and I have said 'I just don't know where I got them' or 'I fell over'. They know its bullshit but its a happy truce and I haven't cut for a long time now.
I just wondered if you ever had anyone back away? Sometimes my mates ask how I get them because I used to turn up every now and then with a big one and I'd just say, 'I don't want to talk about it' so they *must* know but I think my ability to keep a lid on generally whilst in public stunted their enquiry.
Self-mutilation is like being abused. Ignorance is the only way someone can't know. There is no good lies only well thought out mutilation. Be greatful you had friends that cared to ask. So to answer your question, yeah there were people who didn't ask, but they knew and they didn't care about me.
I usually say "it happen while I was ill", you wouldn't be lying.
lol your right.
It's a wonderful world we live in...:D <i> Laugh its sarcasm.</i>
Mine have really faded after I was on holiday and got a tan. Also, get a nail brush and when in the shower lather up the scars with soap and just go nuts on them with the brush. A few days of this and all the scars will fade as the dead tissue is worn away.
Sounds painful but it is so, so effective
i either tell people i don't wanna talk about it OR i dunno OR just tell them the truth. i haven't cut since JULY 1ST,2004 . wanna talk just PM ME.hugs n cuddles::
Sweet Angel From Heaven * smiles*