tonight i was at my girlfriends house and we were dry humping - basically sex with clothes on and after about 10 minutes i busted in my pants.. i didnt want 2 say anything cuz id b embarresed and it still pleasured her.. but like when we actually have sex the sensitivity will be a lot higher seeing that i wont have pants in the way and i feel that i would cum very quickly.. is there anything i can do to lessen the sensitivity of my penis or tips to not cum fast?
How can i improve?
first off you gotta relax...secondly learn to take ur time..most porn stars say they think of other things in order to enjoy it but not "enjoy it" and that way they last longer but you also risk thinking about other things too much and losing the erection...or you could learn to pace yourself...when you feel like ur gettin close...slow down...if you play it off well you could make it like ur tryin to tease her and go slow, while your really just givin ur balls time to calm down...that works durin sex too...if ur goin fast and u feel like ur about to bust..go slow deep strokes until you relax alil..umm what else...also they say if ur work ur pc muscle (the muscle that stops ur pee when ur peeing) it'll make u hold back more when u feel like u need to cum but i dont really know about that one for sure...if i think of anything else i'll let u kno
I swear baby I'll go slow....at first
When, you are more experienced, you can do the "mind over matter thing". Your first time, will probably have you blowing the load way too soon. Order some numbing cream to cut down on sensitivity.
Look up instructions on how to develop your PC muscle.
Another thing you might want to try is not to focus on it so much... When you get remote close... focus on an non sexual/netural object in the room or surroundings... study the shape or color of it...
Numbing creams have been mentioned several places... my advice is to use small amounts and low grade... if you numb to much too long you will lose your erection and will be unable to retrieve it until the numb sensation is gone.
During sex when you get close... pull out... say you need to add lube... or change positions... and dont' go at it like a rabbit... enjoy it... take your time... she will thank you.
Also believe it or not.. when you dry humped you had more friction and contriction than you do when you are "free" and have lube/wetness. You won't last as long the dryer/tighter/more friction there is.... Relax...
Masturbate! The more you masturbate the longer you can last-this has been true for me-when i first started masturbating i would barely touch myself and i would blow-lol-but now after about 3 years of masturbating-i last up to 15 minutes-but that is continuously to-i dont stop.I think that masturbating with help you last longer during sex.
Don't worry about squirting too soon, there's always more where that came from. Not too sure about the idea of pulling out with the excuse that you "need to add more lube". Pretty stupid idea. Actually, make that REALLY stupid idea.
I mean, why fabricate some story? And if her pussy is already soaking with her juice from being so excited, it going to be pretty obvious that you're making up a story. Not to mention the girl's feelings. If you try telling her that you need to add more lube, she might start worrying that she's got a dry pussy and get concerned over nothing.
No, best idea is to just call it as it is. If you're going to cum as soon as you get inside and stat pumping, just tell her. "Oh fuck baby, you're pussy's so hot I'm going to fill you up with my cum". Telling her that is going to go over much better.
And once you've came, what's stopping you from getting hard and fucking again? Get her to start sucking your dick and that should get it hard again. Or if you need a rest, take a break and use your mouth instead of your cock. Suck her tits and/or lick out her pussy for a while and you'll be hard again and ready to fuck some more.
Second time is always better - - and when I say second time, I mean as in a half hour or an hour later. After you've cum once, you last longer the next time. Plus, it's a more intense orgasm the second time too.
thanx guys.. if theres anything else someone thinks i should do.. post it here im up for all oppinions
I agree with frontandback, don't pull out to add lube. Why would you use lube at all anyway? If she's not self-lubricated then it's more likely that is a sign that she isn't ready... play around some first.
Morech has a good idea with pacing, but you'll need to find which pacing works for keeping you from orgasm and which pacing works for her to get her at orgasm. I wouldn't even worry about trying to get her to orgasm your first time. But do play around after you (most likely) cum quickly the first time, and come back for seconds.
As far as concentrating on an object in the room to stall your progress... that is walking a very thin line. On one side, you may be able to hold yourself back a bit and last a bit longer. On the other side is the strong possibility that it will look like you are studying an object in the room instead of concentrating on the sex. This would make her feel pretty bad, I would venture to guess. So, you'll be safer not studying objects, or thinking about baseball, or whatever... maybe try these techniques after your comfortable with having sex.
If you cum early, so what, there will be more opportunities. Also, if you end up going flaccid right before the sex, try not to worry about it. It happened to me like the first three times. Maybe put on a porn and both of you watch it or something, LOL.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes when the time comes.
reply to boss: thanx man - it happened tonight 11/27.. and i did end up going flaccid before having sex and i got her to give me a blowjob to get me hard and then i ended up busting quite quickly.. then i said the condom broke on the end so i threw it away and took out another and said well get bak to it.. then we jus did other stuff - but i apologized to her because it was her first time and i wanted to make it special but she said it was ok.. i dont know wats wrong wit me - this was my 3rd time.. the other 2 times nothing went wrong thanx for listening
hey mate, i'm sure your gf will understand. you might be putting too much pressure on yourself to perform. it can happen to all of us so there's nothing to worry about.
hope it goes well next time.
Apathy, you're doing fine bro.
If you really want to attack this head on, then just tell her something like "Hey, I'm still new at this, but in time I will learn how to pleasure you greatly." I can't imagine a girl not wanting to hear that... just be honest, don't sound like a line from a movie.
heyyy... tonight was the 2nd time we did it and it was at a new years party in the backyard on the grass
we were having sex (intercourse) for about an hour and a half and more stuff for even longer and i did cum once.. maybe it was cuz i was wasted but i think i know wat to do to improve
thanx so much guys
Glad to see that things have improved!