Religious issues

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This girl that I liked decided that she could not date me because she was a Catholic and I was not. We had similar interests, got along great, and also physically hooked up a couple of times.I would like to hear other opinions on this issue. I am personally letting it go, because as far as I can see, there is nothing I can do.

I think you are right to let it go. If it is important to her, she will probably not change her mind without lasting regrets.I'm assuming in that that it was her own decision and not forced on her by others, which sometimes happens.

It is her decision, but she always seems so conflicted about it. I mean, I don't recall any doctrine within Catholic faith discouraging those who aren't Catholic. Perhaps I missed something.It's not like I'm Godless or Moral-less, I guess I just don't fit a certain frame.

I've been a similar situation. Even though she broke up with you, I wouldn't hold any bitter feelings toward her. Besides, her ideas may change.

Are you of any particular faith yourself? Is it possible that it wasn't your lack of religion that made her feel this way, but possibley it was your chosen religion?

haha, it was definitely my lack of religion. I was raised by congregationalists but never pressured to have faith, and I personally am Agnostic with no real love for religion because of a couple of things. However, I do respect beliefs if they are not forced upon me.I sense that there could possibly be a change of ideas, but at the same time she is very stubborn, and would probably stick by her decision even if she came across a crisis of faith or something to that degree.It also doesn't help that there is someone from her hometown (I'm in college) who is catholic, AND had a deep-set crush on her for a while.

This reminds me of the time I went on a date with a girl who turned out to be a gungho baptist. Once we figured out where we each stood on the subject, she started trying to convince me that Chrisitianity is the only and true way. I finished off the date and moved on. I talk to her every once in a while. She only dates guys from her church now. She's unhappy with the guys she is dating and can't figure out why she can't find a good guy when they all go to the same church as her.What I'm trying to say is this. The guy that had a crush on her in the past and is also catholic doesn't mean they are going to work as a couple. Sure, they have religion in common, but what else do they have in common? And what is different between the two that will make it interesting?Move on. If I were you, if she changed her mind about me then I would give it a go after asking her if she's sure and that the things that got in the way in the past won't get in the way again. Life's too short not to enjoy yourself buddy. Leave that drama and have fun at college.

Quote:...I don't recall any doctrine within Catholic faith discouraging those who aren't Catholic.The Catholic faith, like most others, encourages members to marry within the faith in the belief that will make for a stronger marriage. The Catholic faith does not discourage marrying outside the faith, per se, but if the non-Catholic person did not want to convert the sacrament of marriage would not be extended by the church. That might mean that the church would also view the children of such a marriage as illegitimate, not sure about that one though. Unless your up for conversion, I say ditch her ass and move on but that's just me. Or if you choose to continue to pursue her, you can look at this way, you'll always know just where and how you rate with her.

Its usually a requirement for the children to be raised Catholic if even only one of the parents is Catholic.

Yeah, I've moved on. The guy ended up coming down this weekend and she was wondering why I didn't want to hang out and go partying with them...Actually, I almost said something along the lines of "So if you get drunk and have sex with him, is it okay because he is Catholic?"I think it is more the principle of the thing than the actual issue.

Originally Posted By: websexinfoThis reminds me of the time I went on a date with a girl who turned out to be a gungho baptist. Once we figured out where we each stood on the subject, she started trying to convince me that Chrisitianity is the only and true way. I finished off the date and moved on. I talk to her every once in a while. She only dates guys from her church now. She's unhappy with the guys she is dating and can't figure out why she can't find a good guy when they all go to the same church as her.What I'm trying to say is this. The guy that had a crush on her in the past and is also catholic doesn't mean they are going to work as a couple. Sure, they have religion in common, but what else do they have in common? And what is different between the two that will make it interesting?Move on. If I were you, if she changed her mind about me then I would give it a go after asking her if she's sure and that the things that got in the way in the past won't get in the way again. Life's too short not to enjoy yourself buddy. Leave that drama and have fun at college. *Very well said there You know Pirogoeth, I am in the almost SAME situation with you. Except, I am the religious one and my girl is in college. Now let me tell you something from my point of view. I am very "religious." I like to think of my beliefs in Christianity as a practice of spirituality and developing very intimate personal relationship with my Savior rather than a "religion" which comes across as a routined practice with no spice or energy. Now, in my opinion, being Christian is very important to me and it is one of the qualities I look for when I date, but I want to let you know something, it is NOT the ONLY thing you look for in a person. Is it a good quality, sure. Does it usually mean that they have good morals, of course. But there is so much more to liking a person and developing a relationship with someone that goes way beyond religion. One thing is that my girlfriend is very open-minded and understanding. Likewise, I am open minded and understanding even though I believe that what I believe is the only way. I feel that my girlfriend and I really get along quite well even though she isn't as spiritual as I am, or as devout. But I love her for her, and I think that is what is important really. Pirogoeth, if this girl doesn't want to be at least a little open minded and understanding, than I don't really think she is the right one for you. One thing that college/highschool relationships have to watch out for is the fact that one of them is in college and they really have to put a lot of trust into commitment. If this girl can't do that and she's not even in college yet, I don't think she's worth the time. besides, you are in college, so I bet there are a lot of other opportunities that you haven't even looked at yet. I would really say that if she can't try to be understanding of who you are now, then what kind of understanding is she going to have with any other things that come up between you. Now, is it that she doens't like you and you like her? I wasn't quite clear with what exactly the situation at hand was regarding that area.Anyways, hope I could be a little encouraging and/or helpful.~Anondude

Nice attitude, anondude. I'm same as you - my Christianity is important to me, but I realise it might not be as important to other people, or they might have different beliefs from me altogether and that's fine by me. Although, when I do "settle down" with someone, it would be nice to be able to pray together.

Anyway, I'm straying off topic. In response to the original post, if your different faiths are causing her concern at such an early stage, I doubt that your relationship could stand the test of time. Why not try and stay friends with her, but leave it at that.

I agree with Just for Laughs here.If you really think you have something special with this young lady, a lasting friendship is certainly in order if you can swing it. I had a similar situation in high school that involved me and another guy. He was a devout Baptist, and after a few months of touches and goes (the goes were always direct results of religious conflicts) he finally left for good. My only regret was that the entire 3 years we were secretly together ended so dreadfully. After an enlistment in the military and several years of college, I feel foolish for thinking that I would have always been comprised of the same moral fabric that I had been in high school. The fact is that people change. I changed remarkably, and I wish I could have stayed in touch as friends with him. Perhaps his moral code has changed as well, but now I will never know