People don't understand me...

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hey yah it disappeared.... :S

haha wow! Damn you're fast...

This is probably why, there isn't really any need for more "Where is Steve?" conversations. Lets all just sit back and be happy that we now have a chance again to reach the title of Highest Post Count.

There enough off topic posts to go around.. don't need another here.

w00t!!well so far your kicking my ass....

Oh, thats just one of the things that I love doing to your ass...

LOL!!!! Bob!! thats naughty

And off topic. :wink:

That worked. I'm a bit offended.Yeah, I got a bit of a bur in my saddle if you will over this stuff. I am raising a kid that I don't even know if she will be able to stay in my home in a few years because of her issues. It is a very scary proposition. AND it isn't a matter of not loving her. It's a matter of how badly she could hurt anyone of us....Here is a guy with what seems to be the same sort of thing...who knows there is a problem, but can't define it..

im like you- i overly think things. you might as well embrace it because believe me, nothing short of smoking a whole bunch of pot will get rid of that. people may disagree, but a lot of the time its people who see that you have your own views and feel threatened by that. people respond to confidence and individuality in negative ways sometimes. My friend was saying earlier how she would like to help poor kids and rape victims and i said 'i dont lose any sleep over it'. May have seemed insensitive, but honestly, those are my views and i didnt change them to impress her. Just like you shouldnt change anything you think to please people. thats all i have to say =]

nothing short of smoking a whole bunch of pot will get rid of thatFunny you should mention that, because I smoke whole bunch of pot lots of times in the week. Getting real blazed is one thing that gets my thinking about a LOT of things.Like right now, my mind is thinking about so many things ... just because of a plant. Amazing.

And getting blazed isn't going to help you.

And getting blazed isn't going to help you.Then why does it, in fact, help me?And don't tell me drugs are bad for you (do some research first and stay away from government websites). I don't want this to turn to a discussion abuot how weed is good/bad.

A lot of people, especially Java and Pepsi, gave you a bit of things to think about that may or may not have helped you in trying to figure out yourself. From what I read from all of your posts, it seems to me that you're just as human as everyone else but just really, really confused. I see that you do want to communicate with others but at the same time you really don't care. I'm not saying I know you or how you think and I am no therapist. I'm just saying what I feel.You see, when I was 18, I was also a negative person. It started when I was 16 that I became depressed and just hated everything and everyone in the world. I was not happy at all and it took a major effect in my life. I hated people who smiled, I hated those who did better than me in school, I hated those who were in clubs, and the list went on. I even hated the marching band I was in for all four years in high school (I nearly quit). I said "fuck you" to everything I did, to everyone I knew, and even to myself. I didn't even shed a single tear when my grandmother died.However, through what I was going through, my humane side of me (long story) knew that I couldn't live like that forever. I was depressed because I wasn't happy but I wasn't happy because I was depressed. It was when I was 18 I just thought, "Is this what I truly want for the rest of my life? Do I want to live a life with no friends, no love, no anything?" We all only live once and we all deserve the best in life. We all make mistakes, we all have negative feelings, and we all go through many regrets and tragedies, but that's what makes us human. But going on with our lives without looking back makes us stronger human beings.I realized this and decided that enough was enough. I didn't want to go on with my life, saying "Oh, my life sucks. I hate everyone because no one cares about me." I didn't want to play a victim for the rest of my life and expect people to feel sorry for me or cut me some slack. Being unhappy and being a victim is a life no one wants. Do you honestly want to continue your life as you are right now? I'm willing to bet that you don't because it doesn't make you any happier. Yes, life isn't fair and it's a bitch sometimes, but you can't go on saying "people don't get me".You need to help yourself. Personally, I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for you because you're 18, well old enough to get yourself some help. If you want to change the way you feel and try to reconnect with people, get up and do something about it. We here on this board can only do so much. Have you tried therapy? If you haven't, you should give it a shot. You'd be suprised how well it can work, if you're willing to give it time.However, deep down inside yourself, if you are indeed the kind of person who truly doesn't give a crap about anyone else, then that's fine. But don't try to come here to bring people down (and by that I mean being hurtful). Just because the world hurt you, doesn't give you the right to hurt others. And if your problem is indeed communication, get some help with that also. And again, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.I don't know if I came off as a jerk from what I just said or sounded like I was spewing meaningless words. I also don't mean to be insultive, but I'm just saying how it is, from my perspective at least.PSYou should also give up the weed. I really do doubt that it helps you. And if it does, how? Drugs NEVER, EVER lead to anything good.

Weed does not help you. Weed distracts you from your problems, it doesn't solve them. Ignoring your problems does not help you.I'm not saying that you should stop smoking it, I smoke it myself, just don't fool yourself into thinking that it'll help you.

I see that you do want to communicate with others but at the same time you really don't careI want to communicate to learn things from what other people say. That's how I learn> You see, when I was 18, I was also a negative person.... I didn't even shed a single tear when my grandmother died.Why are you telling me this? I am nothing like what you described yourself as when you were 18. I don't hate those who smile, I don't care enough about school to let smarter kids bother me, I don't care about clubs, I don't say fuck you to everything, etc.However, like you, I will not shed any tears when my grandma (or anyone for that matter) dies> However, through what I was going through, my humane side of me (long story) knew that I couldn't live like that forever.I told myself that a long time ago. That's why I've changed and am where I'm at now.> Is this what I truly want for the rest of my life?This isn't what I want, but it's the most I can do out of what I have, so I'm ok with that result> Do I want to live a life with no friends, no love, no anything?I would love too, yes. But it's harder than it sounds> We all only live once and we all deserve the best in lifeWe all may deserve it, but that doesn't mean we get it> We all make mistakes, we all have negative feelings, and we all go through many regrets and tragedies, but that's what makes us humanI don't agree> "Oh, my life sucks. I hate everyone because no one cares about me."Yes, my life sucks. Nowhere did I say I hated everyone, so again, I wasn't like you.> expect people to feel sorry for meI don't even want people to feel sorry for me. Again, I'm not like you.> Do you honestly want to continue your life as you are right now?I'm pretty ok with the way my life is right now, so yes> I'm willing to bet that you don't because it doesn't make you any happierWhy do I have to be happIER? If I'm happy with what I have, why should I feel the need to be even happier?> but you can't go on saying "people don't get me"That's been cleared up a long time ago. It's not that people didn't get me, it's the way I was expressing my thoughts.> You need to help yourself.I know, that's what I've been telling you guys.> Personally, I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for youI never asked anyone to feel sorry for me, so by all means, don't.> If you want to change the way you feel and try to reconnect with people, get up and do something about itMaybe I already am doing something about it?> Have you tried therapy?The therapist wouldn't tell me anything I don't already know. Plus, I don't have money to burn like other people> However, deep down inside yourself, if you are indeed the kind of person who truly doesn't give a crap about anyone else, then that's fine.Then you wasted a lot of time making your post. Sorry for that> But don't try to come here to bring people downThat was never my intention> Just because the world hurt you, doesn't give you the right to hurt othersThink about this: Just because your life is ok, doesn't give you the right to try to tell other people how to live the same way> You should also give up the weed.I need more than this: Why?> I really do doubt that it helps you. Have I ever lied to anyone here?> And if it does, how?Like I said earlier, it helps me think about things.> Drugs NEVER, EVER lead to anything good.Believe me, I know that more than you can imagineAnd now to bobalicious post:> Weed does not help you.How can you tell me this?> Weed distracts you from your problemsUh, no> it doesn't solve them I never said weed solves my problems, nor have I ever expected it to either> just don't fool yourself into thinking that it'll help you.But it does help.> I smoke it myselfSo can you deny this statement: Weed makes you think about a lot of weird things (that you don't even mean to do). I like to say that my mind is racing because it's thinking about so many things at once.You can honestly tell me that's not true?

Before I go on, I want to explain why I gave you the short version of my boring life. It's to show you that you are not the only one who has to deal with a lot of crap, especially at 18. Life does not discriminate and we've all been there before. And like I said before, it wasn't to say I know you or how you feel.This isn't what I want, but it's the most I can do out of what I have, so I'm ok with that resultWhy do you feel like you have to sell yourself short? If this isn't want you want, then why don't you try to change it for the better? You may be okay with it now, but will it be okay for your future?I would love too, yes. But it's harder than it soundsYou can't avoid life. You need to face your problems and deal with them as they come.We all may deserve it, but that doesn't mean we get itYes you can. Everyone has the ability to make something into a reality. The difference is if you have the will to make it happen.Yes, my life sucks. Nowhere did I say I hated everyone, so again, I wasn't like you.Acutally, those were my words, not yours. It was I who said that when I was your age. I wasn't trying to put words in your mouth. But the point was that you can't go on with your life, grumbling how much is sucks. If it sucks, do something. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to at least give it a shot.I don't even want people to feel sorry for me. Again, I'm not like you.And that's why I said that I DIDN'T want people to have any pity on me. Please read that more carefully.I'm pretty ok with the way my life is right now, so yesSo then why did you make this thread? If you honestly are okay with your life now, why do you care what complete strangers think?Why do I have to be happIER? If I'm happy with what I have, why should I feel the need to be even happier?But are you really? If you are, then fine.I know, that's what I've been telling you guys.But have you done anything? We can only do so much. But again, if you're fine, then so be it.Then you wasted a lot of time making your post. Sorry for thatDon't be. Think about this: Just because your life is ok, doesn't give you the right to try to tell other people how to live the same wayWhen did I ever say to live your life like I do mine? I'm simply trying to tell you that you need help, that is if you want it.Now about that whole weed idea. You say that it helps you think. But think about what? I'm sure you don't need the aid of drugs to help you think. And it does distract you from your problems. Sorry, but it's true.

It's to show you that you are not the only one who has to deal with a lot of crapI know that there are other people who have it worse than me> Why do you feel like you have to sell yourself short?I don't, and I don't feel like I'm selling myself short at all> If this isn't want you want, then why don't you try to change it for the better?Again, because I'm ok with the way it is right now.> but will it be okay for your future?I'll worry about that when the time comes. I don't worry about silly things like the future too much> You need to face your problems and deal with them as they comeYou can't possibly think I don't know that> Everyone has the ability to make something into a reality. The difference is if you have the will to make it happen.Is that the difference? Do you know this for a fact? And you know it applies in ALL cases?You're saying, if I have enough will-power, I can join the Army (which I can't because I have diabetes, but with enough will-power, I can fix that) ? Think again.> But the point was that you can't go on with your life, grumbling how much is sucksGood point, which is why I don't grumble how my life sux.> but you have to at least give it a shotBeen there, done that> So then why did you make this thread?Based on your comments, I'm going to assume you didn't read the whole thread. The topic has evolved into something totally different than the original point of the topic.> But are you really?If I wasn't, I would do something about it (like you've been telling me for the last few posts).> But have you done anything?I already told you I have. All those times when I think about things... here's a hint: I don't think about the weather all day> When did I ever say to live your life like I do mine?When did I ever say you were doing that. I just told you to think about it... and I hope other people (especially on here) read it and think about it as well, since some people on here need to think about it more than others (not necessaril you, Virtual_Star)> But think about what?All the things I normally think about> I'm sure you don't need the aid of drugs to help you thinkI don't need a plant to think. What I said was it HELPS me to think. When you're high and you start to learn how to control your high, you can use it for your benefit. I use it to make myself thing about things and when I'm high I usually think of things I normally wouldn't think of. That's how it helps me think.> And it does distract you from your problemsIt can, yes, if you let it. Well, it's easier to let it distract you than it is to NOT distract you. But it helps me personally deal with one thing at a time. That's not a bad thing, is it?

I dunno, I think you're fine other then a little bit of anti-socialism, I've read the thread as people post, and I dunno. If people maybe let you work it out in your head and listened instead of bouting off advice, it'd help you a little more. I think a lot of what goes on to make it seem like there is something seriously wrong, is misinterpretation. That's just my opinion, though.

I think you're fine other then a little bit of anti-socialismI think there's a little more than that going on, but I'm not too worried about that at the moment> If people maybe let you work it out in your head and listened instead of bouting off adviceOh, people can say whatever they want. I've already figured out all I want to figure out for today, and I want people to post to see if any new ideas come up or to see what other people think about things.