There's no doubt there's stronger stuff available now on the Net than what was in magazines in those days - though a decade later, still well before the Net, kids were probably rifling through their fathers' video stashes and had access to much stronger stuff than my friends and I saw.My point is that the idea that 12 year olds play innocently with never a thought below their navel has never been true. For me, and I think for most, it was a time of transition.
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Porn addiction
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kids were probably rifling through their fathers' video stashes and had access to much stronger stuff than my friends and I saw. Sure it was a time of self discovery for any child at that age, then and now. But again, even if "some" kids might have had access to thier parents video's, it was definitely not as prevalent and accessible as it is with the internet today. You seem to be excusing the excessive exposure to porn on the net because we also "kinda" did it too. It seriously doubt it is a "positive" influence on this generation.
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It doubt that it's positive, but I doubt that most of it is very negative either. I don't think it matters greatly either way.We've never bothered with parental controls on computers for the girls. The older has been upset more by newspaper reports and polical Net articles than anything else; the younger more by social interactions.
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_I don't think it matters greatly either way.
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Can't say I agree with that. -
There was a lot of debate about this, you may remember, in the late 1960s and 1970s, in the context of the legalisation of pornography. Most studies found what their authors wanted them to find, but in fact there was little evidence anyone could find in either direction. Rapists possessed pornography, but when Denmark legalised pornography the number of rapes decreased.There's no doubt that porn gives a false idea of sex, but those who wish to suppress it don't advocate putting real sex on the Net instead.
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To HelmsmaN: Everyone I know well enough to know whether they've watched porn or not, about 27 people as far as I can recall, watched porn when they were 12 or earlier, and it did not cause any kind of harm to any of them. That, combined with the natural curiosity about bodies and sex that generally heightens at that age if not before, the fact that most people in that age range lack alternate means of exploring that curiosity, and the easy access to soft and/or hard porn, often leads to watching porn. Not because these people have some kind of problem, not because they are evil, not because they are sex maniacs, and not for any other negative reason, just because they have a natural and completely normal curiosity. Also, watching porn does not lead to or increase the chance of people having underage sex and/or unprotected sex and/or protected sex and/or any other kind of sex, and it also does not lead to or increase the chance of teen pregnancy. Actually, more often than not, when young teens release their sexual tension and appease their curiosity by watching porn, they are less likely to do negative sexual things like those. All those FACTS put together are why I said it was normal. So maybe you should think more before you start babbling crap about things you don't know about, and probably scaring young girls with your exaggerated and incorrect information.To Ineligible, sdp, and HelmsmaN: Whether or not I agree with any of you, I think we should all stop arguing and concentrate on helping this nice young girl. I don't know about you people, but I joined this site to try to help people, not to argue with people.
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maybe you should think more before you start babbling crap about things you don't know about, So as a "late teens" guy, you are now an expert? Who's to say you're not "babbling crap about things you don't know about"?
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Wow...okay, I tried not to hit the reply button but I couldn't help it because I can't read that and not say something to you. I have no idea where to start. Everyone, forgive me for what I'm about to say! Originally Posted By: MrZEDOI got into the business of supplying myself and my friends with porn in third grade, and I have been doing it ever since (I'm in twelfth now). My personal opinion of the majority of porn is that it is evil. Because of these things, I believe I have rather a good amount of knowledge on this subject, and on mental, moral, and emotional conflictions it can cause. I just thought I would preface my reply with that.That makes NO sense whatsoever. Because you've seen boobies, penises, and vulvas since you were eight that makes you an expert on porn? That's the most ridiculous thing I've EVER heard. And if that in itself isn't an addiction to porn (a self-proclaimed "expert"), I don't know what is. Originally Posted By: MrZEDONow, before I give you any advice, I would like to ask some questions:...The questions you asked were, in my honest opinion, really creepy and unnecessary. She asked for help in not looking at anymore porn, and yet you say it's "normal", giving her the okay to continue watching? What kind of help is that? Originally Posted By: MrZEDOEveryone I know well enough to know whether they've watched porn or not, about 27 people as far as I can recall, watched porn when they were 12 or earlier, and it did not cause any kind of harm to any of them.Horray for them, but that doesn't help this young girl here. Originally Posted By: MrZEDOAlso, watching porn does not lead to or increase the chance of people having underage sex and/or unprotected sex and/or protected sex and/or any other kind of sex, and it also does not lead to or increase the chance of teen pregnancy. Actually, more often than not, when young teens release their sexual tension and appease their curiosity by watching porn, they are less likely to do negative sexual things like those. All those FACTS put together are why I said it was normal.Are you serious!? If what you said are indeed "facts", PLEASE show me the proof. Right now, all I'm reading is a bunch of blabbering words that are coming out of your ass. Either put up or shut up. Originally Posted By: MrZEDOSo maybe you should think more before you start babbling crap about things you don't know about, and probably scaring young girls with your exaggerated and incorrect information.An 18-year-old who knows more about sex than a man who's wiser and old enough to be his father? Puh-LEASE! Originally Posted By: MrZEDOTo Ineligible, sdp, and HelmsmaN: Whether or not I agree with any of you, I think we should all stop arguing and concentrate on helping this nice young girl. I don't know about you people, but I joined this site to try to help people, not to argue with people.Yes, let's help this young girl by telling her to GET RID OF THE PORN instead of saying "Hey, it's normal!".
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I'm here, I'm here! Heh heh, hope I wasn't too hard in raising the bullshit flag. But yes, it's crazy what I read. I would really love to see what he has to say next.
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Going back to your original question, porn addiction, like any addiction, is a tough thing to control/beat, depending on your goal.Until recently, I would spend at least one hour a day looking at porn and masturbating. It had gotten to the point where it was mandatory, and I simply couldn't bring myself to take a shower and go to bed before having at least that hour or porn watching.Stopping isn't easy, but hopefully you'll realize that with time, it will become easier. Me, I used to have close to 2 GB of very explicit mangas on my hard drive, as well as a ton of bookmarks to sites with more sex mangas as well as various hard core (and sometimes ultra hard core) movies and message boards.The first thing I did was delete almost all the porn I had but sadly, there's a minimal amount I can't bring myself to get rid of. Within days of deleting them, I was almost compeled to download a few erotic comics again. I deleted all the offending bookmarks, though unfortunately some of them had by that point been burned into my memory. Resisting the temptation to visit those sites again is hard. I went through a few relapses (in fact, this is probably the third time I've tried to stop using porn altogether), and I honestly can't say that I won't have another, though I hope not.I don't have anymore tips really, aside from trying to resist the temptation as much as possible. It's all you can do really because in the end, if you're motivated to get porn, you'll find a way to get some despite the various site blockers and securities.
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Originally Posted By: HelmsmaNI'm not sure how much you know about porn, but I bet you're pretty good at games.http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=MrZEDO HelmsmaN, I checked that link to the Google search. Only two of the results listed on the first ten pages were me: the one here, and the Sims Resource one. None of the others. Maybe you didn't know this, but more than one person can come up with the same name.
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Well, it has become rather obvious to me that I can not contend with all of you closed minded zealots. I am sorry that I do not have enough time on my hands to keep up with the constant deluge of badly thought out slander. I hope the girl who started this topic to ask for help, not a stupid argument based, I believe, on arrogance and a complete refusal to even consider the opinions of other people, gets that help. The last thing I'd like to do is make one final request of the other people responding to this topic: When you are writing your advice to this girl, please, if you change nothing else about the way you write, just try to be a little nicer and less frightening. I mean, saying that just because someone watches a little tiny bit of porn they are going to have unprotected sex and get pregnant is ridiculously extreme. In fact I would even go as far as to say that, especially from a preteen point of view, that is actually a little terrifying if taken as fact. Well I hope I helped at least a little. If anyone has anything else to say to me, or request of me, they can send me a private message. And with that, I resign from this topic.
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Originally Posted By: MrZEDO
I mean, saying that just because someone watches a little tiny bit of porn they are going to have unprotected sex and get pregnant is ridiculously extreme.
Who said that? Are you making up more BS? -
Originally Posted By: HelmsmaNNext thing you know she'll be posting about how she had unprotected sex, is pregnant and needs "help". There you go. Maybe you should look through the whole thread before you go spiting insults. Alright, now that is the last thing I am going to say in this thread. I just had to defend myself one last time.
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Originally Posted By: MrZEDO Originally Posted By: HelmsmaNNext thing you know she'll be posting about how she had unprotected sex, is pregnant and needs "help". There you go. Maybe you should look through the whole thread before you go spiting insults.Alright, I'm woman enough to say I was wrong and I'm sorry. But I find it strange how you said what you said in your last post, but failed to bring up the proof of the "facts" you claimed or still haven't given the OP the advice she asked.Listen, we would love to see what you have to share. But if you're going to make claims like that, prepare some back up or prepare to get drilled bad.So next time, when you give your advice, don't make such crazy claims and actually give the help the OP asked for.
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Originally Posted By: MrZEDO And you say it is "controlling your life"? What do you mean? Nothing you do for 0.6% of your time (I acually calculated that) can control your life. If I were you I would re-evaluate this whole thing, and think hard about whether or not I was blowing this way out of proportion.I hate to come off like I'm joining the fray of folks who are jumping your butt, but you are incredibly naive to think that something that's "done" only a couple hours a week can't control a big chunk of your life. Before I explain that, let me just say this...kindly and with respect. There are some of us here who are not only considerably older than you, but have had way too much experience with this stuff. We know what we're talking about. That's my position. I know sexual addiction personally. I've lived it for years. I'm not just pulling thoughts out of my butt and calling them facts. I'm telling you what has been my experience and what has been verified by research.Addictions control your life. That doesn't mean your are acting out 24/7. What it means is that the addiction affects all areas of your life, not just the time spent indulging. I may have only spent X hours indulging in addictive sexuality, but I also spent a lot of time dealing with screwed up relationships that were a result of the shame that came from my addiction. I spent time trying to reconcile my addicted self with my day-to-day self. You wouldn't believe the amount of time spent plotting and planning and pursuing the fix, and then the time that can be spent in recovery or cover up. The time I spent completely debilitated by my addiction...long after I'd turned off the computer and cleaned up. So don't tell me that something that is done a few hours a week can't control your life. I'm here to tell you that thing BECOMES your life.
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Ok. I have to agree about the time issue. Its not HOW MUCH time you spend in it. Its how does the time you spend affect the rest of your life.
zedo
My thoughts are this. If she wants to quit then the curiosity be damned. She came to us for help and its our duty to give it to her. I don't care how "safe" you think it is. The simple fact is she wants to stop.
It doesn't matter how "safe" it is to watch television if someone says they want to stop for whatever reason we should help them stop. That being said.
I think porn is detrimental. Sure I looked at it when I was that age or younger. Know what its done even though I don't look at porn? I was never nearly as obsessed as other here claim to be. However, all it takes is one step forward. Porn. then its masturbation. then your having sex. Then your addicted to sex. I am still a virgin however, I assure you my restraint is wearing thin. And its never a good thing to have a desire to know what you want to do. to have thought about it for 5 years and still be restraining yourself. I would love to make it till marriage. However, it grates you. It sucks to have something put on a pedastool. You can't turn away from it you can't escape it.
I think my one saving grace has been that I'm too big of a loser to keep a girlfriend.
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From what I've seen from you, that definitely is NOT your only saving grace.Be nice to yourself!
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Easier said then done.
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pretty much. If only I could delete and install new programs directly to myself xD.We could help alot of people out xD.deletes emotioninstalls c++