My girlfriend still has feelings for her ex

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Well, her friend told me and then I read a note where my g/f told me that she still had feelings for him. But really that doesn't matter now. She's over him but today she told me that she wants a "break" but that everything will be back to normal after she clears her head. I've never felt this bad about a breakup, even if she says it's "temporary". Idk, I wanna believe everything will be better but I know it won't be. This pain just sucks, ya know?

I know how it is, man. Just keep negative thoughts at bay because when all's said and done, whatever happens will be the best for the two of you.

Well, My fellow board members.So I guess it's gone from a "break" to "over". Last night she kissed a kid and now they're dating. He's a punk, a really bad kid. She told me today that it was only a "physical" attraction. Her friends are mad at her for it. I honestly think that she's confused. She comes from a broken home with an abusive mom and she has low self-esteem. I'm a nice, honest kid. I'm the kinda guy you wanna bring home to momma lol. Her friend thinks that she's worried that I was too good for her so she thinks she has to go to a guy that isn't any good for her because of her self esteem. Hopefully you guys can understand all this. What do you guys think. To be honest, you all on this board have really helped me. You made me realize that there's people who have your back, even if you don't know them.

I read what you posted before you edited it out. What you said earlier makes a HUGE difference.But I guess that doesn't really matter anymore now. Best to move forward and not look back. Just take this experience with you and I hope things work out for you.I personally wouldn't hold out hope for her. She doesn't sound stable enough (at least at the moment) to be with anyone.

I honestly don't know how to move forward. Everything reminds me of her. I guess feeling depressed, drinking, and playing bass in my room all day isn't helping. It just sucks.

It's going to be really tough, but day by day, you'll be back on your feet. Give yourself time and you'll move on.Being depressed is understandable, but playing your bass doesn't sound so bad. It should help keep your mind off of her. But drinking is something you shouldn't do, since it doesn't solve your problems.

Originally Posted By: DaCubs75playing bass in my room all day isn't helping. Your bass is more therapeutic than you think. I know the drums have always been there for me, since I was five. Many girls have come and gone, but the trap kit's where it's at. I would however cut down on the drinking since it's a depressant.

EASILY OFFENDED PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FARTHER

Here's a solution: Concentrate on her flaws -- no, NO girl (or person) is perfect. Also go out and start having sex. LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX. :smile:
Ok, perhaps not sex but you should get out there and meet other girls. They will be sympathetic to your cause and you'll probably find another girl :grin:. DO IT!! :grin:

haha, wow I think that post pretty much cleared it all up for me.
Good advise, I'll do that.

Ah, finally the healing process can begin. She's really unstable, and she's in an verbally and probably soon to be physically abusive relationship and it's been less than a week. Today I was talking to her on the phone and she said "stop, you're hurting me! OW STOP!" when he was trying to grab the phone and he said "It's him! give me the phone..." He won't let her be alone with any of her friends anymore, and especially guy friends. Then she made out with ANOTHER guy in the hall too, but that was a "one time" thing I'm guessing. Me and one of our good mutual friends, the only one that'll talk to her since breaking up with me and going out with this low life (Nobody likes this kid) are trying to give her advise but she won't take it. This kid is telling everyone how he's gonna "tap dat" and I know if she doesn't want him to he'll do it anyway. Today our mutual friend asked what would happen if she got raped and all she said was "if it happens it happens, oh well." I'm not the type of person to say "I told you so" but in this situation, I feel that's all I can do if she won't accept help. As much as it sucks, I think the only option is for everyone that used to be her friend or had a relationship with her is to watch her self destruct. She won't take ANY help so all I can do is wait. When she ask for help I'll always give it to her, no matter what. But until she's ready to ask for it, I'm not going to even communicate with her. Do you guys think this is the best thing to do? I mean just let her do her own thing and find out the consequences herself? I just don't understand why she would to this all to herself. This is all bugging me inside, and it's not the fact that we broke up anymore, I finally got the strength to get over that. It's the fact that someone I care for is hurting themselves very very seriously. I need your help asap.

I would follow your own advice and keep a distance. It's not worth your efforts to try to help someone who doesn't help themself. It will cause you many ailments, like stress, ulcers, etc. You don't need that in your life.

I dont think the bass is is good as drums for that.I like to hit things, break things and get a good over all weakness going from physical exaustion tha lawyas makes me feel better.I can see doing that with drums, maybe, I dont know for sure, Im no drummer, in fact I have no musical talent what so ever, unless you count that I can fart "shave and a haircut"a heavy bag in teh garage though, fuck oh dear I beat on thta all out for 10 minutes and Im so tired i can hardly stand up, and I always feel better besides.Outside of that the reisk of death is always good for cheering me up.I love to climb when Im pissed an cant think it brings it all into focus and on some routes that Iv done a few hundred times and could do blindfolded I go ropeless and free climb them, that extra bit of fear of taking a fall and knowing your going to hit the ground for sure if ya fuck up always hiegthens the experience and leaves me buzzed for days.I cant see getting any of that from playing bass, Drums I could buy, its very physical to pund shit out on em, but a bass? ehhhhI do play guitar, I jsut suck at it like I said I have no musical talent or ability whatsoever, but that doesnt keep me from trying, and the fact tha I taught myself to play, accoutns for alot of my lack of talent at the guitar.

I whole heartedly agree with your advice.the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone new.

Originally Posted By: Grvtykllrthe fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone new.Those have to be the most golden words I've ever read, lmao!I'm going to put those words on a plaque and hang it in my room.

I would love to take full credit for them but I cant. I listen to a hell of a lot of music from nearly any style. Ya like swing?The Cherry Poppin Daddies... The song is no mercy for swine, the specific line I added in red.I highly suggest you find he song and listen to it, Id also add zuit suit riot, Mr White Keys, Ding Dong Daddy of the D-Car Line, and drunk daddy to the list of CPD's songs that I think are must haves in a collection. the rest of that album is good but not great.Well with bloodshot eyesI'm finally brokeI feel like I just had a strokeWe made a stainShe said my nameI drank a thousand beers for that dameNow we're the couple in the cornerTying up our tongues to the percolatingRhythm of the big bass drumShe said no jack don't you go backNo jack don't you go backSo we hit the floorSlicked up to the ninesAnd I tell you there will beNo mercy for swineI'm swingin' on the chandelierDrowin' in a thousand beersI've got it down to an artLonely sex with a desperate heartThe way to get over someoneis just to get under someone new.And show them no mercyNo mercy for swine

I have a heavy bag hanging next to my drum set, which is next to the keyboard which is next to the bass which is next to the guitar. I love my garage, with a six pack and a Jay I can play all day. Make my rounds from one to the other like circuit training. Oh and I have a metronome (electronic, not the pyramid) to help my meter. Any musician no matter what instrument should own one. Nothing is more annoying than someone who can go through the motions of "playing" yet cannot hold a beat, or jam with others. You either need to be African, or you need a metronome. well, in most casesBACK TO THE THREAD!

"Nothing is more annoying than someone who can go through the motions of "playing" yet cannot hold a beat, or jam with others. "

Thats me :laughing:
but in all fairness, I have taught myself with books and videos, and Iv only been doing it for a bit, well what 3 years maybe? and nto a constant practice, I jsut really like to play when Im baked at the house and alone.
I cant read music, atleast not fast enough to play it as I read it, I cant play by ear, I jsut knwo the chords, but Im better than I was and luckily I dont care about being in a band, Id have to give up part of my life in order to devote the time ti takes to actually be good, for me its a selfish sorta thing I like to do, I dont have to be good and since noone hears me play, fuck it it doesnt matter.

He he, I gotcha. You're on the right track man, keep it up. I started the drums at five so I got a slight head start from you, but perseverance has made a lot of MY friends, friends who I TAUGHT to play music, pass me in musical knowledge (Ahhh, to have ambition must be nice....). I just have a natural knack for it. I also cannot sight read (read fast enough to play it simultaneously) and I have developed really bad habits over the years. Oh well!

From what i hear, you deserve a lot better.

I know, she dumped him and now she told me she's sorry and that I was right about him and that she wants me back. That was really hard for me to say no but when you look at it, she won't change and I'm not sure if she ever will. I gotta just keep movin on.