I finally did it.
Well she should still keep her eye out for guys. Like not go all out looking for guys, but be open to seeing someone. But definitely have a high tolerance for trust.
I know her heart is probably really vulnerable right now, but she has a child who needs a father and waiting too long might not be good for the child.
Quote:Most of the time when you thought I was mad, I wasn't at all. I was poking fun and being sarcastic. And the caps I used wasn't me screaming, it was for emphasis. Oh, so the "fuck you"'s and "stop being a bitch" is fun and sarcastic?Honey, I'm sorry but I'm raising my official BS flag on that one. Get real. Quote:And you don't realize how irritating you can make people. He's not a loose cannon and neither am I, you just seem to draw anger out of people a lot. Yeah, and I'm an international super model.And I don't draw out the worst in people. People are responsible for how they react. Originally Posted By: cooldawg2No, I think she needs a break, but I don't think she should throw the thought of love or guys completely out the window.I didn't say she should completely give up on finding a boyfriend. You and Grown love to assume things, don't'cha? She needs to focus on herself right now. Later, when she has her life together, then she can do whatever she wants.
OK Well then I guess she should just find some guy and get married so he can support them. That would be best.
Originally Posted By: Virtual_Star And I don't draw out the worst in people. People are responsible for how they react. So you're telling me if I say "You're a Japanese slanty eyed faggot." It's your fault for getting irritated and not mine? How does that work?
Quote:So you're telling me if I say "You're a Japanese slanty eyed faggot." It's your fault for getting irritated and not mine? How does that work? You love taking things out of context, don't'cha?Sigh, I'd explain, but I've done that so many times before, it just goes over your head.By the way, I forgot... Originally Posted By: cooldawg2I know her heart is probably really vulnerable right now, but she has a child who needs a father and waiting too long might not be good for the child. Sorry, but you're being a bit naive.She doesn't NEED a father at the moment. Obviously, from her past posts, the guy wasn't being responsible and the child is being taken care by other family members. Fatherless children don't all grow up to be disfunctional adults and single moms are capable in raising families. It's much harder but it can be done.When the time is right, the OP will find someone. But now isn't the time.One day you'll understand.
You said it's up to the person how they react. So how am I taking things out of context if that's an example of someone being justified to get mad?I understand this perfectly well. Two parents are better than one, but she needs to find the right guy. You're stereotyping men if you think there's not one guy out there who would help her out in a relationship. I don't wanna be an ass here, but you definitely need to be married before you even plan on having kids. I can understand when the baby's an accident, but I would have 100% trust with the person before I ever even slept with them. It's the only safe bet if you're husband ends up leaving you, because you can get child support. If you have a child when you're just boyfriend and girlfriend you're shit outta luck if he leaves you.
Quote:You said it's up to the person how they react. So how am I taking things out of context if that's an example of someone being justified to get mad?Pass. Quote:I understand this perfectly well. Two parents are better than one, but she needs to find the right guy. She doesn't NEED to and certainly not right now. Quote:You're stereotyping men if you think there's not one guy out there who would help her out in a relationship. I'm stereotyping no one. I didn't say anything close to that. It's like you're reading something totally different from what I type.I'm not saying there's no one to help. There may be someone out there for her. But right now, she doesn't need a relationship to help get her life on track. She needs to do that on her own. Quote:I don't wanna be an ass here, but you definitely need to be married before you even plan on having kids. I can understand when the baby's an accident, but I would have 100% trust with the person before I ever even slept with them. It's the only safe bet if you're husband ends up leaving you, because you can get child support. If you have a child when you're just boyfriend and girlfriend you're shit outta luck if he leaves you. Wow, if only life where that simple. Things really are different when you're a kid, huh?Thanks for sharing.
It's called condoms, birth control, and a fun little thing called abstinence. I'm not arguing about this anymore. We both have our separate opinions that seemingly aren't going to change.
Hey guess what? She did use protection.How about reading her posts before jumping to conclusions?That would help a great deal!Sorry, but you are naive.
I wasn't talking about her.
Dude, seriously, I'm with VS, your saying that people shouldnt have sex with someone until they've legally bound themselves together, wrong, people shouldn't have sex with someone until they are both prepared for the possible outcomes.
Condoms and birth control are not 100% effective, absinance is, except that it requires alot of willpower on both sides to work for any length of time.
You think it's the mothers fault for being a single parent? you think its impossible for a single mother to raise a child? those are two absolutes that my life happens to disprove. My father left my mother when i was less than a year old, he payed child suport and got me an my sister on weekends, but my mom did most of the raising. I think she's done an amazing job under the circumstances, so if you believe those statements, seriously, then you really are naive. I'll concede that its not an ideal situation, and it is generally good for a child to have both a male and female input to their growth, I stress the word generally, if the father was a jerk, or if there is no more conection between the parents, then I believe its healthier for the child to be raised by a single parent.
no, her primary focus is her daughter, and her self. but she shouldnt "forget about men" completely. thats foul. i have yet to seen a fully successful person who was happy that died without a significant other in there life. im not saying if she finds a guy to put him over her... that should not happen at this stage in her life. maybe at a later time, and only if its deserved and is not injuring her own personal life.we dont know if this women takes any advice word for word..if she takes this word for word as my ex did she'll become desolate from her peers and distance herself from her family.i do feel i can relate a bit better about this then most, seeing as how i witnessed its repercussions first hand. and i know what it can do to a person. she felt so strongly about putting herself above anyone else that she went through an abortion, just so that there wouldnt be another person to deal with.only person she cares about is herself, and her mom (the one who put that idea in her head.)her mother had a husband, but left him cause she couldnt forgive him of his past. now shes single about 45 yrs old, partying and drinking. she sees her children roughly 2 times a month.now OP let me ask you something, in 20 years, do you want your daughter going/graduating college, and only you being there, do you want to answer why it is that she has no father or father figure (im not talking about her biological father but just a man that she can call daddy and bug her for money and such) i can relate with alot of people when saying that it was hard growing up without a father figure.the order in which i live my life when it comes to priorities is Music, Love/Money, Family/friends. music is my job/life. love and money are kinda one in the other, family and friends are good but sometimes they need to be distanced, but never forgotten. i dont care frankly, i dont agree with her advice, but ultimately think about what i said, and what she said. think it through, but ultimately you make the decisions. Good luck.
Quote:but she shouldnt "forget about men" completely. Ugh, for Christ's sake, I didn't meant completely. Why don't you ask if you're not sure. I thought it was clear enough. Quote:if she takes this word for word as my ex did she'll become desolate from her peers and distance herself from her family.Complete bull. Quote:i do feel i can relate a bit better about this then most, seeing as how i witnessed its repercussions first hand. and i know what it can do to a person. Your ex isn't this young lady. Two different people. Please stop relating. Quote:her mother had a husband, but left him cause she couldnt forgive him of his past. now shes single about 45 yrs old, partying and drinking. she sees her children roughly 2 times a month.That doesn't prove a single thing. Quote:now OP let me ask you something, in 20 years, do you want your daughter going/graduating college, and only you being there, do you want to answer why it is that she has no father or father figure (im not talking about her biological father but just a man that she can call daddy and bug her for money and such) Maybe because her father wasn't good enough to be a father? These sorts of situations are always a case-by-case basis. You can't lump ALL fatherless families together. Now that's ignorance.Maybe this will be clear enough, if not, then I can't help you: This young lady does NOT need a man in her life right now. She needs to get back to school and focus on her future. When the time is right, when she gets her life back on track, then she can either work it out with her baby's father or find another man.However, don't be stupid to think that the baby MUST have a father to be happy and healthy. Is it nice to have a whole family, yeah sure. But this is life, and life is not that simple. Stop trying to play soothsayer in saying that her baby is going to suffer without a father in her life. There's no point. All you're doing is putting unnecessary ideas in the OP's head.Maybe when you grow up also, you'll understand as well.Please reread what my good friend said. He said it better than I could... Originally Posted By: rvbapocalypseI'll concede that its not an ideal situation, and it is generally good for a child to have both a male and female input to their growth, I stress the word generally, if the father was a jerk, or if there is no more conection between the parents, then I believe its healthier for the child to be raised by a single parent.
.................... AhhhhhhhTell it like it is girl.....
This young lady does NOT need a man in her life right now. She needs to get back to school and focus on her future. When the time is right, when she gets her life back on track, then she can either work it out with her baby's father or find another man.thats clear, and thats what i was saying stupid!and virtual, did you grow up with 2 parental figures?i didnt, so yes i know ROUGHLY what its like, as was said before, it is a case by case type scenario,but there are things in general that single parent children can relate to.as a man, its hard not having a father to play catch with etc. the little things fucked me up the most.as a women, (both of my sisters perspectives) it was hard not having there father to defend them, and give them advice about men. even growing up they wished our dad woulda been there to tell her that she cant date boys, or be out late, or any FRIVOLOUS statements, that most other people disregard.now who the fuck knows whether or not her daughter will grow up straight without a father figure, but then again who knows whether or not she wont without one.those 2 things are both situations that you cant predict nor I, but what im saying NOW, is that, its BEST and easiest to raise a child with at least a father figure, whether it be an uncle, cousin, or moms boyfriend, someone that treats her like a daughter.it eliminates so many ifs for the future.now just leave me alone virtual, whatever, you talk about me clarifying what i say, why dont you clarify what the hell you say.you said and i quote Quote: FORGET ABOUT GUYS next time u give advice. at least so you wont be a hypocrite, say "FOR NOW," or "AS OF NOW"-PEACE
Quote:next time u give advice. at least so you wont be a hypocrite, say "FOR NOW," or "AS OF NOW"Why am I not surprised?I clearly said "relationships can wait".That doesn't mean "give them up forever". It's pretty straightforward.Sigh...
Obviously it's only you and cooldawg who have trouble understanding what was meant by "forget about guys". It would be moronic if anyone meant forever which it wasn't. Sheesh
but if we take it word for word like that, who's to say she wont?
Word for word? What part of "can wait" are you having trouble understanding?Obviously, no one else is having trouble with this but yourself. I don't believe the OP will misunderstand also.Why don't we just stop here and just let her take it how she wants. Stop trying to twist my words into something that it's not and I'll stop trying to help you understand. Either way, it's going no where.
Hi guys i havent been on here for awhile,i was spending time with my daughter before she left with my aunty for santo domingo.Anyway i saw the comments and i appreciate it,thank you guys,also i want to know do you guys argue about everything?Next i am swearing of men and love and being alone is not so bad am learning to like it. I dont want child support and i am not going to file for it,am pretty comfortable coming from a large family. My daughter does not need her father to act like one,she has my brothers,my father,my uncles and my grandfathers,she is not going to grow up with only one parent since my aunty and my uncle will be adopting Hosanna as their own. I did get a test done because like someone said condoms are not always effective I am fine and healthy. I got family planning.Also i don`t need to get married and i do not want no man taking care of me and my daughter,am independant and i for one as a black young woman do not like the idea of depending on no man.I am going back to school to get my degree and become a docter and also to major in forensic science. Right now I am completing an essay on the dangers of sex at a young age and the risks of aids,stds and teenage pregnancy which will qualify to win an award.I hope this answers all your questions and if there is anything else you guys need to verify you can send me a PM.THANK YOU.
