Dealing with everyone being afraid of you

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It sounds like perhaps you give the impression of being very tense.

what do you mean tence?

Like stressed, so you might snap out at any time.

i,m hyper observent if thats what you mean and i,m jumpy sometimes

i make sure never to show emotion

I think that may be significant. If someone's emotions can't be read, it means you don't know what he's thinking and that can be scary. The jumpiness would add to the scariness by suggesting tension and suppressed energy that might boil over at any time.Can I ask why you make sure never to show emotion?

My cousin has this same problem. It's really nothing to do with the way he present himself. It has to do with him being 6'-10" and a big guy. He's the most gregarious guy you would ever meet. When he and I are together it's really a problem (I'm a big 6'-6" guy myself). Everyone seems to think we're there to rob 'em and rape 'em, at least that's the way they come off.To the OP, first your going to have to go out of your way to be friendly to people and get them past the first impression. Learn ways to put 'em at ease quickly, be sociable and friendly. Also, you need to be able to distinguish between actual fear of you and people just being in awe of what a big guy you are. My cousin often misreads peoples' amazement as fear. Then he's put off with them thinking they're scared of him and because he's put off with them they aren't friendly.Before you judge people to quickly make sure it's actual fear of you and not fascination with you.

It's more the way you act than the way you look, people pick up on the slightest things. Being more open, even if it makes you more nervous, might help the situation. Learn to relax and express how you're feeling at the moment. Other than that, you cannot change how people percieve things.

I agree.I am a BIG guy, 6'7" and I weigh a lot, but everyone thinks I'm a massive pussy. I'm seriously the least threatening person ever.Why? Cos I AM a big pussy.Don't get me wrong, in a physical altercation I will stand up for myself, but only if I have to (i.e. to protect myself), but under extremely rare circumstances would I ever hit someone first.Primarily tho, it's cos I'm a big soppy teddy bear of a dude.Maybe, me54, you just need to chill out a bit and stop giving off the bodyguard vibe...

If you arent showing any emotion , its likely this , more than your stature , that makes people feel uncomfortable.Every girl likes a teddybear !!Tor x

well i try to be nice and i help everyone i meet i dont let pepole walk over me but iv,e only been i 1 fight my entire life and that was where a guy pushed me and i held his arm behind him till he setled down

cause if i do then pepole will know what i am feeling and then i will end up my with foot in mouth

Have you had bad experiences, me54?

yes

Originally Posted By: me54i have a very large build and everyone i meet is afraid of me what do i do? how big are you?

idk over 2 feet shoulder with

I know that you have had bad experiences when showing emotion , however the lack of emotion is probably why people feel uncomfortable.I am not saying put your heart on your sleeve , however just a little emotion can be reassuring !!Tor x

yeah not counting my neck my shoulders are 2 foot 3inches

ok inclouding neck 2 foot 9

The combination of a very large build, a face without emotion, and a certain jumpiness would be rather scary. People would feel they don't know what you'll do next. It's possible to show some friendly humanity without making yourself vulnerable (though I think vulnerability is important in the human condition).