Giving up on being gay

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Simple subject line. Complicated inner turmoil.I've been contemplating on this fact for months and I've just seen negative part of the gay community. Not just the negativities but also the way how they've treated me by what I am as a human person. Judgment by looks and by race and harsh sneering remarks.It's been going on for almost two years now. I feel unwelcome by the gay community and I just feel unaccepted. It seems as if gay people to me are no different than anyone else on this planet and I'd rather not have myself be a gay man any longer.I don't know what else to say or do. Being this way isn't making me any happier.What should I do?

Your right as a group gay people are not different than any other generalized group of people. They are remarkably they same. They sneer at you just like other groups of people. They look down on you just like other groups of people. They push you aside just like other groups of people and they judge you just like other groups of people. Now step back and notice the commonality there. For if they are just like other people, other people are going to be no different in how they treat you. It is a human condition not "gay" particularity. You have to be comfortable in who you are and ignore those who would seek only to belittle you gay, straight or otherwise. No matter what community you wish to be apart of acceptance is always going to be fraught with assholes tearing you down. That's just the way it is. The trick is being self assured enough and persistent enough to find the persons you can get along with and then you can be assholes together. So fuck 'em. Push ahead in-spite of them, rather than retreating because of them.Trying to change your sexuality is fools endeavor anyway. If you like dick, you like dick, if you like pussy you like pussy if you like both great. It doesn't matter and you'll run into the same assholes whatever community you want to be a part of. Just be who you are and forge ahead until you find the people that fit you.

If you like dick then you like dick there is no changing it trust me I know. I have tried it doesn't work. The thing with the gay community is that there are different personalities in the gay community, and people often forget that, even gay people people do. You will be judged no matter what you are, and it is just something you have to get used to. For instance I am a complete and utter bottom, but I'm 6'3" (maybe taller then that) I am an adrenaline junkie, and I love to ride dirt bikes and four wheelers. I recently met a guy who when we first met he gave me the weirdest look when I said that I loved to Dirt bike, and it was a look of judgment. He is now used to the idea (I think). It is all good kind of. I just wish he would tell me if we were an item or not now that he is back at his home. so it is complicated and I just don't know...Anyways Judgment is all around you and just remember this "people who care don't matter and the people that matter don't care"

I could not have said it better then Scotty (OldFolks).  Quote:It seems as if gay people to me are no different than anyone else on this planet You said it yourself, regardless of the community you belong people are going to judge you no matter what. What you need to find is part of the community you click with and ignore all the jerks who are simply so insecure about themselves they feel they have to bring other people down. Trust me not everyone is like that, actually the majority of people aren't.. it's just those that seem to act the worst always stick out more.Plus as the others said, if you're gay your gay.. there is no changing that. There is no point in lying to yourself and making your life miserable. Don't judge this moment in your life on how you think your whole life is going to be. IT GETS BETTER! As a fellow gay man, I understand what you are going through. I used to take it to heart when I heard other gay people call me ugly, or stupid.. or whatever ridiculous insult they wanted to spew. But I soon realized their opinions of me don't matter, it what I think about myself, and eventually what my partner feels about me. Once you ignore those types of people, it's easier to see the nice welcoming people that are going to accept you for who you are.Good luck to ya buddy! Just be true to yourself and ignore those that wish to bring you down.

People are always going to judge you whether you are straight or gay. The world is a fucked up place and unfortunately some people feel as though they should have an opinion on who you should love without even knowing you.Its sad..Stay true to you and don't change.. fuck the haters. You will not be any happier if you try and force yourself to be straight.. I truly believe that things will be different in my lifetime (hopefully).

Don't give up. it may be hard in a new life (seeing you are now off to collage) but give it time.. It gets better once you meet another guy or group in your liking.

I know this is rather late... but as I only just joined.I know exactly what you mean. Gay people can seek acceptance from gay communities, and long for approval there. It only makes sense that the gay community would support each other considering the prejudice they have to endure. This longing means you might tolerate bullies you otherwise would not, in order to try to fit in with a clique. The danger is not letting go of the nobs so that you can find nicer gays.It's a problem of statistics. The gay population is made up of all sorts of people from all walks of life, from your idiots, to those who aren't your type, to those who are boring, to those who you do click with. You have to wade your way through the people to find the ones you do like. That's going to mean being ready to say goodbye to nobs, being open to different types, searching for compatible subjects with the borings, and finally discovering the good ones among the many.It's a community by something biological, not something intellectual or ideological, which is why the nobs are also there. Admittedly I do sometimes think the gay community, at least in the UK, tries to emulate some of the crap, and it's what you hear most because they're busy spewing it. Remember once you left school, suddenly you were free to ignore the idiots and only associate with the type of people you like. It'd be the same if you were trying to gel in a left handed society.The secret is: Don't expect too much from the gay community. Be ready to filter through the crap to find the good ones.

Quote:Don't expect too much from the gay community. Be ready to filter through the crap to find the good ones. This does not only apply to "gay men". This applies to ALL men

I would say that applies to people in general, not just one sex, there Steph.

Originally Posted By: OldFolksTrying to change your sexuality is fools endeavor anyway. If you like dick, you like dick, if you like pussy you like pussy if you like both great. It doesn't matter and you'll run into the same assholes whatever community you want to be a part of. Just be who you are and forge ahead until you find the people that fit you. Well said Scotty.... Well said!!

@ horniboi

I applaud your decision. If that's not who you are then stop it.
I also don't think that the gay world is very healthy. Sooner or later you might catch something serious and after all who wants to be promiscuous all the time? I don't think that many gays stick to a partner for a long time. It's simply not a healthy lifestyle. If I was gay I'd feel really bad and ashamed about it because it's simply not good and I think most people know this and probably don't admit it but sometimes you just know when something is wrong. Not saying gays are evil or something like that but it's simply not good to be gay. It brings a lot of dangers and I also think that being gay has certain kinds of psychological reasons most likely in the childhood of the people.
I hope you can do it.
Maybe you'll get to like women. Women are so fascinating somehow.

"I also don't think that the gay world is very healthy."

Yeah and you think measuring your pecker from the bottom side somehow makes it longer. Get a little analytical data and learn something instead of just thinking it.
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"Sooner or later you might catch something serious and after all who wants to be promiscuous all the time?"_

God knows no diseases ever spread in the chaste heterosexual community. Turn off the talk radio.

"I don't think that many gays stick to a partner for a long time."

Add you base this on what? Is this experience talking here? Straight people aren't any more or any less faithful or committed. That's a personal trait not one tied to sexuality.

"It's simply not a healthy lifestyle."

There's a brilliant statement of "fact." I particularly like how you don't even feel the need to qualify it with "I think" or "in my opinion." That's a horse shit prejudice statement and that's it.

"If I was gay I'd feel really bad and ashamed about it because it's simply not good and I think most people know this and probably don't admit it but sometimes you just know when something is wrong."

It's to bad prejudice hog wash doesn't engender those same "knowing feelings."
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"Not saying gays are evil or something like that but it's simply not good to be gay."_

For God sake, come on. Really, an "I'm not prejudice but..." statement. That's the kind of statement ignorant rednecks make, "I ain't prejudice toward any man, but them dirty niggers need to keep to their own." Beyond that what the hell are you basing this on. I bet if you like sucking dick being gay works for you pretty damn well.

"It brings a lot of dangers"

Such as? As compared to what safety in the heterosexual community?

"I also think that being gay has certain kinds of psychological reasons most likely in the childhood of the people."

And aren't we fortunate to have your years of clinical study, much less life experience, to enrich us on this subject.

Think critically, or at least originally, and don't just repeat what you hear.

I don't have stats right now but I heard that many gays have diseases especially those who are really living the gay lifstyle and being promiscuous. Imo this is a downward spiral once you get into the gay stuff you go down even further and if you don't watch out you might find yourself blowing strangers at gloryhole bars while being drunk. I also think gays have more animalistic desire which can lead them to have unprotected sex or do risky things. I think this might have something to do with anal lust. Once it's started it's like a fire which always wants more.

I'm trying real hard to be cognizant of your apparent young age and the idiosyncrasies that come with it but that post is not only wrong it's offensive.Just because you've heard something doesn't mean the person who said it knew what they were talking about.

Are you gay? I'm not saying all gays are this way but I have also seen documentaries about gays and I think I have an impression how it goes down in the gay community. And the OP seemed to be in those circles from what he wrote and it's definitely good if he gets out of there.

What "circles" the OP ran in, I don't think can be determined, nor do I think it matters that much, make no mistake the same circle, no matter what it is, exists in the straight community.My sexuality is inconsequential, it has no bearing on the discussion at hand. "Documentaries" not withstanding, if that's indeed what they were, the homosexual community is just as varied as the heterosexual community in all aspects. Sexuality is a personal thing and there are as many subtle variations of it as there are people in the world. Homosexuals are no more promiscious, chaste, kinky, faithful or philandering than those in the heterosexual community. People are people and all are different despite how some might seek to categorize them.Now to answer your question. I identify myself as bisexual. I was happily married for 13 years when I found out my wife was cheating on me with my best friend, who also happened to be my cousin. I am now in the process of divorcing.

I'm sorry that your wife cheated on you that sucks.Anyway I just thought that the OP didn't sound happy with being gay and also how gays treated him so I think if he feels like this isn't good then he should get away from it. I am also against kinky hetero stuff. Swinger clubs and stuff like that are disgusting. I'd feel so dirty if I went to such a club. Those are things which aren't good or healthy. It's total depravity.

If that's the way you feel, fine, don't frequent such places but remember you have no reason, call or authority to inflict your axioms on the rest of society. There are those who find such places an enhancement of their sex lives or even a fulfillment of their desires and you, some politician or preacher have no place in telling them they can't do what they wish, when it isn't affecting you.

They can do whatever they want. I mean if they think that gangbanging a whore on the weekend is fulfilling then that's their choice or if they want their girlfriend being gangbanged by 30 people on a weekend then they can do it. But I think that something's not right with people who are into such kind of stuff and I also can't imagine that deep down they don't feel dirty because of this.