i feel horrible lately, ive bothered by the idea all the time that im gay, i never considerd myself that way but in the last couple of months ive been having disgusting gay thougts. this isnt how i want to be, theres got to be some way out, what can i do to overcome this?
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Dont wanna be gay
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If you're a teenager or younger, then these thoughts are relatively normal. Most blokes will have them at some time and it doesn't necessarily indicate that you're gay. Even if you're older than that, it still doesn't mean that you're gay. It could just be that you're only going through this phase of development now.The biggest likelihood is that you're not gay since most people aren't but if you are, it's who you are. There's nothing you can do to change that. I realise this is hard for you to hear but please accept that if you are gay, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not some sort of perverted abnormal deviant, no matter what some people tell you.If at some point in the future you definitely do realise that you are gay, try to come to terms with it. I appreciate that it might not be easy (it rarely is) but your life will probably be better in many aspects if you're open and true to yourself.Good luck with it
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I'm 21, it's straight or die for me. I can tell if a girls attractive but I dont get as turned on as I used to by pornography. I'm scared that some people think of me as gay. I dont look at guys or think guys look good, but I have disgusting gay thoughts and it makes me sick to my stomach and ashamed of myself, how can I beat this, theres gotta be some cure or something, i always believed it was a choice and i still do, i think this is only happening to me because ive never had a real girlfriend and its making me like guys
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In reply to: The biggest likelihood is that you're not gay since most people aren't Sure, most people aren't gay, that would severly disrupt the population the human race, but there is still the possibility that he is bisexual.
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Would it really matter if you were gay or bisexual? I find it pathetic you find it having disguting thoughts. Look, everyone has thoughts about the same sex. And well some people take it to the next level with experimenting.
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In reply to:
Sure, most people aren't gay, that would severly disrupt the population the human race
the most commonly accepted ratio (excluding the oppinions of the religious right) is around 10%
I think we could easily triple that without putting the human parasite.... uh sorry.. race at risk. I think that a bit more non-reproductive sex would be good for the planet. -
Even though the most commonly accepted ratio is 10%, the actual number is only around 1-2%.And to the original poster: You're not gay. You just have occasional attractions to other men when you're really horny. AT LEAST 50% of all straight guys could identify with that. You are fine, you don't seem to have any emotional attractions to other guys and you don't really find them attractive physically. Chill out and get all the thousands of myths that you've been taught and accepted out of your head.
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the actual number is only around 1-2%at the risk of an argument sigh upon what do you base this statement?btw, I like Zildgien symbols
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what i think is happening is since you do not have a girlfreind, being with who ever your most is who you think of. Say you most of the time hang round guys. if you do not have a gf and want one, you may start to finally think the guys round u are attractive. It did that sum for me. But when i got a gf (even though it only lasted a week) made me realize how much i liked girls , so i think the best thing to do is get a girlfreind even if it only last a week and i think that should make you realize that you like girls.
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Gary Remafedi, MD, MPH, Michael Resnick, PhD, Robert Blum, MD, PhD, Linda Harris, Pediatrics, April 1992, pp. 714-721.
A good summary of the studies can be found in J. Gordon Muir, "Homosexuals and the 10% Fallacy," The Wall Street Journal, March 31, 1993, p. A-14.
And it was admitted in a footnote of a brief on page 16 (31 homosexual and pro-homosexual groups admitted it together) from the March 26, 2003 case of Lawrence vs. Texas.
Zildjian does make the best cymbals, but their marching sticks, as my band is finding out, are very durable and can handle all the serious crap with the best of 'em.
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Look, if you happen to hang out with enough people and get them to be honest with you, you'll realize that human sexuality is a lot less clear-cut than most people would like you to believe.Take sexual orientation for example. For one, it's not always as simple as saying 100% hetero, 100% gay or 100% bi. If anything, it is a very fluid scale. You'll find heteros who'll admit that under the right circumstances and with the right people they might have gay feelings, and it's the same for some gays. And bisexuals aren't always evenly divided between both genders, and might have preferences for one. And that's not even adding transvestites and transexuals.And regarding sexual orientation, some people will tell you it's a choice, and others will say it isn't. Those who say it isn't probably knew quite early in life that their feelings were different from most people, or might have been unconsciously influenced by certain factors while growing up (like say, being raped or other equally damaging mental events). On the other hand, the people who claim it is a choice either developped gay tendencies later in life, think they made the choice consciously (which might also mean that they had always been somewhat bi) or are using it as an excuse to hate something they don't understand because if it's a choice then they feel it's alright to hate it.Well, based on what I've heard from lots of people on all sides of the argument (and not from various biased researches that only reflect the opinions of the people who financed them), I feel it can really be both, for all the reasons I said above.Listen, if you really are completely gay, then there's nothing you can do about it except agonize every day of your life over it and never act on it at all (effectively repressing almost all sexual thoughts, which isn't healthy), or eventually commit suicide over something that wouldn't be bad in itself and that you can't control anyway.Aside from being raised with ideas that "Gay = Bad", what is so disgusting about it? If you really have homosexual thoughts or feelings, I doubt it's those thoughts themselves that are disgusting (like say, a 100% hetero might find the idea of being physical with someone of his/her gender physically repulsive) but rather the belief that being gay would be bad is some absolute or religious way because of being conditioned to think that way.Well, I'm not religious, so all I can say is this: homosexual feelings and acts are not inherently bad. I don't find anything wrong with the idea of two adults sharing a physical bonds, whether there are also feelings attached or not. It doesn't hurt anyone, and people claiming that it will bring about the fall of modern society and the moral decline of our generation simply don't realize that gay sex has been present in many societies around the world throughout history. And modern society his already crumbling anyway, and it's not because of "the gay". The fact is, our sexuality is an important part of ourselves, whether we want to admit it or not, and denying its existence only leads to problems such as the many cases of abuse in the church. You can't cut people completely from their basic impulses and expect there to not be any consequences.Look, if this really troubles you so, seek professional help from a psychologist or a therapist. Make sure you get one who doesn't mind this type of questions (despite how neutral they are supposed to be, I knew one who simply couldn't stand gays at all, so helping people with their problems doesn't garantee that they themselves won't have any) and try to really examine your feelings towards both women and men. Stop looking at it in terms of absolutes and right and wrong and it will be much easier to shed some light on all this. Really, I wish you good luck.
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I like you more and more as I read your posts. Again awesomely said!
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I totally second that hon. Shyguy, im impressed by your posts, and it takes a LOT to impress me, just wanted to add my twopenneth hugs
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> I'm 21, it's straight or die for me.
You're 21, but you sound like a 12-year-old. I don't know whether you're gay or not, but if you are, you will come to terms with it. Believe me, you'd rather be gay than have lung cancer.
What motivates you massive overreaction to the idea of homosexuality? Do you hate gays in general?
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I would just continue to think about how you are feeling, and you may have to experiment to find out. Whatever your decision it should not take away from you as a person, gay, bi or straight.
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I asked someone who told me thatthat 1-2% theory has been found false since it was done, which was like years ago. And this person (my Lesbian cousin who's all about this shit) said it's like ten percent and if you count bi peple it's a whole lot higher. To the original poster, if you hate yourself for being gay, it's like hating yourself for being left-handed or for being tall or for your skin color. You are who you are, make a good life with what you got even if it' sharder. I have a couple of lesians in my family and I know it can be tough to live life and hve people give you shit, but you're better off dealing with what you got. Of course, I say this and I'm bi and I'm not entirely out about it, but, you know, I gotto work on it.