Okie dokie then

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So I deleted this problem twice and asked a few of 4 people for advice but I'm just going to go over it once more just to be sure. Kinda long. I'm warning you.Remember that guy I told you about who's my bf's brother and he was trying to do all those nasty things before? Yeah, well he's doing it again except this time he doesn't really care. I've avoided him alot since that "incident and I've forgotten about it. But now he's doing the same thing. He usually says things that I don't understand or know, those terms? And he talks about how he hates the world but my stupid self tells him oh no it's ok don't worry about it. But then he says perverted and senseless things like "do you know how to cum" or "do you want to know how it feels"; I don't want to find out what he's trying to get at. Randomly, he slaps/squeezes my butt which I guess isn't that big of a deal. He sticks his hands down my pants and I can't wear tight pants since their provoking nor loose pants because that's more access. I wear my sister and brothers's college sweatshirts all the time. So I'm not being an instigator. And he continuously picks me up "playfully" as it would seem but in a really awkward and nasty position. Lately his new phase is grabbing me and shoving me into corners so he can "talk privately" but instead he just feels me up as if I won't notice. I try my best to avoid him but he's everywhere I am. School, various city spots, movies, church, the park, etc. The weird thing is that I don't even stick up for myself. Of course I push him off or slap him but that's it. Most of the times I just freeze up and he gets away with it. Usually I would never let anybody do something like that to me. But I don't say anything. Since then, I've gotten more insecure and more self-conscious. I don't talk to my friends much anymore. I've taken a break from dancing and all the other fun things I like to do. I told my bf but he and his brother have personal issues and usually argue over that. I know I should tell someone but I can't. My teachers don't care they're just there to get the job done. His parents? Nah. I'm only 14 (almost 15 yay!) and he's already 17 so who makes more sense? To listen to their son, or some ethnic girl. My parents or anyone else in my family I doubt will listen to me. They didn't even believe me when I told them about my cousin. I have no say. They already have a hard time dealing with their racial issues. My brothers have no clue I even have a causasian bf so if they found out there'd be mayhem everywhere and every Wyatt in the family would want to disown me and would end up in jail. When I went to my brother's college olympics thing I was standing with him, my dad, my other older brother and my little brother. When my dad and little brother walked away for a sec they were all like "so what's his name? where does he live? he better not be attractive. he's black right?" I mean jeez get off my back. Southerners you know? I keep thinking maybe I'm making too much of a big deal out of things but I'm not sure. I didn't do anything to anybody. I apologize if I did. I think I did because nobody gets treated a certain way for nothing. Maybe I deserve it. I woke up crying this morning from a bad nightmare and it's been stuck in my mind all day. I have to go out in like... 10 minutes for church service, but I don't want to run into anyone. I'm just really confused and depressed. It's been happening for quite some time I just stay quiet about it but what he did yesterday was just like wow. Psycho. Sorry if I wasted any of your time but if you can help I'd greatly appreciate it.

No, there IS something u can do, tell him SERIOUSLY to stop and if he doesn't go meet with a counceler and tlak about it

I didn't read your old posts. But I was just wondering if you had told your boyfriend?

You need to go talk to someone. Go to the people that you believe would not do anything. They will react to your own safety. Tell your teachers tell someone that can help you. Even the police. That is not good for that to be happening, you are freezing up and are not wanting that kind of attention. Got to someone that can help, so any teacher, counselor, police..someone.

You just told us what you are doing wrong-- you said you dont even stick up for yourself.You have to do something, either confront him in a serious tone, or whats proably easier, tell your boyfriend who has to do something

Biggie Please. I have never asked you to do anything for me ever. So could you find it in yourself to not attack her and just leave this thread alone. Please.

I'm pretty sure that's sexual harassment, and If it get's serious enough, call the cops!

First of all, I'll just echo what others have said. You need to tell someone. What he is doing is not only wrong, it's the kind of behavior people go to jail for. Tell someone. As for your boyfriend, I agree that if he refuses to do anything, dump him.What I really want to add is that you MUST stop thinkig this is your fault. Sounds like you're doing everything you can to prevent it. It's not your fault. You've done nothing to deserve it.

I'm confused.All I did was say that she has to stick up for herself.What did I say wrong?

kisses that was a valid piece of advice...Whoa Helms that is a chunk of the story I did not know.Your boyfriend needs to step up, that should not be happening. I wonder what his motives are and such with letting this go on.

The cops? Would they even care though? I mean NYPD cops they're more of the catch the terrorist and guys with guns and knives type of cops. They've let so many of the little things slide that it's no longer a big deal. My bf knows about it and he does try to keep me away from him but I don't think he fully believes me either. The first time he thought I was "hitting" on his brother which is ridiculous. So I guess that's sort of why. And the dream I had doesn't help either. It creeps me out. It's easier said ten done but no matter how badly I want to blurt it out to someone I get scared and think of the consquences and after effects.

well what after effects are you talking about? I mean if your bf does not believe you then there is a definite loss in trust. New York cops will be glad to help if you talk to them. You already have the culprite and that should solve the problem immediately.Telling someone is your best option and you should go through with it. It is for your best intrest. You never know that he could go too far and really harm you.

In reply to: You just told us what you are doing wrong If someone does something to you, it isn't your fault. You are placing blame on the victim. She’s doing the best she can. It was hurtful even to me to hear you say that to her. And sometimes you can get a little rambunctious.(Sometimes it's funny and I get a kick.) I just really would feel bad for her and me if you went off on this. That’s all.

What I mean when I say after effects is just how people treat me after that. It's not like my parents will believe me even after that. You don't know my family. They're crazy. Helms, I've always had that thought that you just mentioned in my mind. But I never went far with it because I'd never considered him that type of person. He was really protective when we first started going out. I don't want to think that way.

I think at this point you should write down all the options given to you and list pros and cons for them. I think if you sit down and think clearly about this you can find your way. Big Hugs!OOOOOOO

OKay I can understand that. But even if they do not believe, and say the police do help out and it is taken care of, then problem solved. Kisses I agree.Write out a list of pros and cons of each suggestion, then also write a pros and cons list for not doing anything and taking action. Take some time when you do this. Take a day or two. I think that you will see that it will be better once this situation is handled.

Hey Hun! I told you in PM.. this is a really serious problem! You do NOT deserve to be treated this way at all. It doesnt seem like it is going to stop unless you take some SERIOUS action.. you need to tell someone.. immediately.. ! After you tell somebody... if things continue.. you might need to find yourself A new man.. you do not deserve this .. and you boy doesnt seem to be taking it seriously enough to do something about it..

Remember.. there is always the option of going to somebody for advice or support. Whether it be a friend, family member.. or your school counselers(SP*!).. Pleasssssssse tell somebody!!

Hey Hun! I told you in PM.. this is a really serious problem! You do NOT deserve to be treated this way at all. It doesnt seem like it is going to stop unless you take some SERIOUS action.. you need to tell someone.. immediately.. ! After you tell somebody... if things continue.. you might need to find yourself A new man.. you do not deserve this .. and you boy doesnt seem to be taking it seriously enough to do something about it..Remember.. there is always the option of going to somebody for advice or support. Whether it be a friend, family member.. or your school counselers(SP*!).. Pleasssssssse tell somebody!!

Hey Hun! I told you in PM.. this is a really serious problem! You do NOT deserve to be treated this way at all. It doesnt seem like it is going to stop unless you take some SERIOUS action.. you need to tell someone.. immediately.. ! After you tell somebody... if things continue.. you might need to find yourself A new man.. you do not deserve this .. and you boy doesnt seem to be taking it seriously enough to do something about it..Remember.. there is always the option of going to somebody for advice or support. Whether it be a friend, family member.. or your school counselers(SP*!).. Pleasssssssse tell somebody!!

Wrong, look at her 3rd paragraph.Direct quote: "The weird thing is that I don't even stick up for myself."I am not blaming her, all I said was that she should stick up for herself