A question to all.

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well in all honesty i am finding this thread funny. I mean angel did this exact thing to me not to long ago. So it is Karma of sorts, lol. Or are you just trying to fuel the fires?Personally I have no clue what you are talking about. Please refresh my memory.

I'm really afraid that everyone is getting lost in all of this.What I mean is that this one incident (and this has happened before) has gotten so huge that it is starting to define people. And it doesn't have to.Angel...honey...dear...I know that you're hurt by what is said. But without going into who's right and wrong and who did what to whom (that's already been done ad nauseum), my fear concerns you above all. But what I'm gonna say is valid for all of us. You are who you are and the majority of us here think who you are is wonderful. You not only give good advice to those honestly seeking it, you have also been just a generally positive presence on the board - as I see it. So you said a thing or two that might have been a bit out of character. A bit harsh. For some reason those things got magnified. Big time. Unfortunately that's how it usually happens. And now you have to decide how to deal with it. (It is occurring to me now that maybe this should be said in a PM, but I think it's valid advice for everyone. Hope you don't mind.)Anyhoo...I think the natural thing to do is to react out of pain and a sense of being judged unfairly. I get that. I do that. But the problem with that is that it never seems to change things. The people who had the problem with you will dig in their heels and those who didn't will pop up to support you, but no one will change their minds or retract anything they've said because of anything you say to defend themselves. So what happens is that the original problem just gets bigger and you give those who don't like you more ammo. I really don't want that to happen to you. Cause if I have a clique I want you in it. But there's another way you can approach it. If you say something and it is either a bit out of line (which we ALL do folks) or is misunderstood, I honestly believe that if we just take ownership of what we say. Not always to apologize. Sometimes to apologize. Sometimes to clarify a misunderstanding. Sometimes to say "I'm sticking to what I said, but I'm sorry you were offended by it". If we do that, then let it go...eventually the thing will die down. And when that happens, in the future we will be judged by the way we conduct ourselves from that point on. The incident will be a blip on the radar. I guess this is a hopeful admonition to everyone to not let this incident define you for those who don't know you. Let it go, continue posting and being who you are and let people judge you by that, not this. There will still be folks who don't like you, but let them have that. Rise above the fray.Boy...have I just raised the bar on myself or what?!?

I would prefer not to. Fuel fires as you stated. Lets just Delete this thread....Angel is just venting...let her be...this is too big of a deal...

I just think there is one thing that needs to be said RIGHT HEREEveryone jumped steves ass an blamed him for all the fighting that ensued on these boards.Steve packed his shit and left, the fighting is stil here, it must not of all been Steve.There will always be a difference of opinion, if there wasnt the world would be a shitty place and no advancements woud of ever been made, its all in how people handle it fand deal with each other that makes the difference in what comes of it.Everyone is guilty of handling it shitty at one time or another, it has to do with being human and not a mindless do what your programed for machine like the computers we all use to access this site. People need to take a better look at THEMSELVES instead of just pointing fingers and betraying them selves for the small minded ass's that they can be.None of this argument is right and it may be a waste of space and band width to have this whole thread, if thats true its because of how people interpit it and what they do with the fwords said here.Something good should come of this whole thread instead of just another boring fucked up argument about whos right and whos wrong, if everyone put aside what they think and try to see everyone elses point of view, mayybe that can happen and we can find a new middle ground to be what this board is about instead of the simple bickering and argueing that seems to rule over it now

Damien.. and that's the reason why I think so highly of you. hug

**yes helms many times i have not posted.

The post i made to sexy bunny was after readings at least 4 totally troll posts, and maybe i was wrong to say anything, i admit it I WAS WRONG, as i explained to you, i had had a really bad day, and maybe it came over wrongly.

The last thing i want to do is make people feel uncomfortable on the boards, and i apologise to everyone if i have ever done that.......I AM guilty of having hard time, and maybe carrying baggage from the people i work with, home and onto this forum, but i guess at one time or another everyone has done that. I am NOT however guilty of being mean to everyone and being a bitch, and i don't really care what you or *your* crowd think about that, I know whats true.

As for the passing it on to *my crowd* what are you 3? There is no my crowd and your crowd, im not some stupid teen who thinks gangs are great, you have created this *in crowd* not me, there arn't many people on here who i don't like, and those i don't like i choose, in the norm not to answer or reply to any of their posts.

There have been people who have abused people, picked apart others sexuality, said people are disgusting for what they do and what they beleive in, but that hasn't been me.

I really can't beleive that all this has come over 2 posts..........

You preach of not judging people by their posts, however, isn't that exactly what you have done to me. All of a sudden all the good posts i have made mean nothing, compared to two posts......THATS why i feel so hurt by what you and others feel, i don't deserve to be thought of as you obviously do, but i can't change the way you think or feel, fair enough, you have every right to say what you want, apparently that does not go both ways.
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and when angel did it to you I stood up for you, now shes the one getting shit on and Im standing up for her.what one person sees as being mean is not exactly what the original poster had in mind.you did not mean that Katie shoudl be a heartless bitch but that what people mistook it as, do you not see that being mean just for the sake of being mean is not what angel was trying to do?Think about it Walken, we all interpit what we read based on how we feel and what we have learned form individual llives, its really easy to mis understand what someone said by reading your own ideas and ideals into it.This whoe thread has been blown way out of what it should of been, not the thread, the entire subject!all anyone wants is to be treated with some respect and be understood and not feel singled out for wht they did or said when so many others have said or done worse and were never called to task for it.

hahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahasorry this is too goddamn funny. All this effort for nothing. Aint favoritism great?Hey well I am off to class....You guys are great arguing over arguing...HAHAHAHAHAHA so stupid so stupid...

That was real mature Walken.

I am sorry but I am starting to find this hilarious...arguing over arguments...hmmm anyone else see this...well i am off..have a good one all, and please drop this argument it is getting everyone nowhere fast.Angel it is okay, keep posting and this thought of you will fade. Bad days tend to scew up how we are viewed.

arguing over arguments...Thats exactly what I jsut posted Walken it does not have tobe that way if everyone pulls their head form thier ass and sees this as defining the problem. its a simple sympton of the overall probem. The problem is people and having seperate lives and not knowing the real person who posts to the board.if people use this thread to see that a problem exists and that its not just the simple arguing and bickering then maybe we can move past all this shit.

Mmmm... pumpkin pie! With or without whipped cream, Java_Addict?

Are you kidding?!?Pumpkin pie is the reason whipped cream was created!

Exactly! :P

Angel, sis, as I have said many, many times before, you're an amazingly beautiful woman with a heart of gold. You have a great soul, and I'm here to say, you're one of the people who make this a better site.We're all guilty of saying something that someone else would classify 'mean'. We're all guilty of fighting, of flirting, and joking around... and what's with all this 'in' crowd stuff? Since when did we have one and why wasn't I invited?!? pout There is always going to be diffrences of opinions, there is always going to be someone who is going to piss you off, that's because we were all raised diffrently. We all have diffrent views, thoughts, morals, and so on and I'm glad it's like that because how much fun would life be if we were all the same? I'm sorry but a bunch of "Katies" running around is a very scary thought indeed! All the diffrences is what makes this site a wonderful place. So why are people throwing stones when we've all done it? What's the point in that?Sis, don't let it get you down, you know you're tops in my book hugs and kisses

lol...Feels like family here..more and more..I would love a peice of pie too if you don't mind winged...Ive got cinamin for all of you who like a little more sprinkled on the whiped cream..yum!

Sheesh! As a non-member of any group, in or out, nice or evil, I feel Im well suited to throw my 2cents in. Its very hard to draw the line between acceptable and not acceptable behavior. There have been times when mods, mainly Helms, help people rip alleged trolls apart, and then there are times when they get upset about it, and want to preach the purpose of A2A. I could dig up many a' thread to prove it. It just seems like favoritism is rampant, and what you say doesnt get you in trouble, its who says it.DxLISHxISx, your first post took the words right out of my mouth :-)

In reply to:(No one even replied as to whether or not they like pie. I feel so invisible) I like pie!..specailly if it's cholate pie.

Well, it's certainly cliqueish here. People only reply to certain posts (and ignore those about pie!) grinds teethI think a lot of people here need to lighten up, it's Monday!

lol. I *gasp* dont really like pie. Thats why I didnt answer. I was afraid everyone would ridicule me, lol. I prefer cake to pie any day.