Right when I try to bid farewell from this site, I have something I want to discuss. It seems like my life has been in overdrive these past couple of months, with my trip, and my other trip, and breaking up wit the boyfriend, and then the new relationship. And then today, of all days I tell me parents that after I finish school, I may be moving out of the country. We have enough problems with each other, that they really didn't need to hear that so my dad and i wound up yelling and screaming over the phone (joy), I dealt with stress how I deal with stress and now its just GAH! I HATE arguing with them, Ive always been upfront and honest with them, and I thought I was doing them a favor by tell them. They think I'm just trying to get back at them. I'm going back to California in about 2-3 months, and I dunno if my old friends will still be my friends, I might end up bumping into my still fresh ex (which really freaks me out) and I have NO idea what will be happening with my current relationship.I've lost another 20lbs and I'm starting to look unhealthy, and I've picked up an old habit (if you've read some of my earlier posts, you know what I'm talking about). It just seems like spent a whole 3 months getting better, to only end up falling down the hill again. Sleep still sucks...3 hours at most the last couple days.
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Right when I try to leave...
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hey Rox like Helms said. We are here for you. You can come to me as well I will gladly talk with you. I know that it will all get better.
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I have something else to say.I have seen you rposts and I have had the privlidge to speak to you on MSN and see who you are. I feel that someone so great is destined for more. Some may say it is a test, but I say it is your growth. For all this pain is simply a growing pain. You are a beautiful person and you simply grow more and more everyday making the day for those around you better. Rox you are a truly beautiful person and all that you do is amazing. If there is ever anything I can do let me know...For you are better than anyone will give you credit for.
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just...wow. hugs i dont even know what to say after that. I didnt sleep last night. I actually ended up calling my brother who I havent spoken to in...3 years? 3 or 4 years. (we have a complicated past) we email once a week unless something happens, but we NEVER talk. He was no help with my parents and only wound up making me question things and bringing back old problems. It just seems like, I spent my whole life trying to be perfect and it just doesnt work like that, The whole plan isnt working. My parents and it, when i was like 10 created this Plan. It was going to be my life plan. we wrote it down and everything lmao, I found it the other day packed away in my old box my mom sent with me. I was going to devote 2 years to living in Israel, and I was going to get married and have kids. It just seems like so much has changed that I thought was....perfect and permanent. I dunno. Im working my self up to being deppressed and that is so not what I need. I should be happy. Im going back to one of the best schools, I have an amazing new relationship, everything should be perfect.
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yes you should be happy but all of us should be things we currently are not. I have soem background with family problems as well. Since you have this great new relationship and you are going back to school, just flow with it. Rox, one thing in life is that it is not always great. This is small part of your life and who you are, but it is at a time of great imprtance for you. If you can zone it out then you will see how much good you really have. There is more good in your life than you think, it is just really hard for you to see it b/c of your move and things associated with that.I think your best bet, is too keep talking about it. But when you do take a deep breath, if there is one thing I tend to do(I imagine others) it is to get so worked up that when we go to explain our problem or try to resolve it we add more by bumbling out incomplete thoughts b/c of our downtrodded attitude. If you can take the time and really think it out and realize that this is something very small in your life, and there is much better to come.