Ok.. Im seriously confused

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While im washing it..he comes out there trying to play it all cool with me.. so i be a total prick..so he is probably pissed off at me..It took me like an hour.. ( got a big lifted crew cab 4x4 truck) my right calf hurts now..Another thing with him.. He LOVES to hunt.. Well he wants me to hunt..so a few years ago.. i got my lic.. and then trouble started.. He gets pissed off it i dont go hunting on all my spare time.. Like last year for deer season..I didnt really want to get a tag..but i did anyways.and my dad ended up all pissed off when i would go.. Stuff liek that..that really makes me hate him.. This year he is like i think you should get a deer tag.. it told him no..he tryed and tryed and kept sayign no.. I finally won..But stuff like that..

He does sound like a prick. I remember you have some OCD symptoms - your father's insistence on your washing the truck, despite the weather being so bad, strikes me as OCD-like. People with OCD often feel something must be done straight away, no matter how inconvenient the time is. Perhaps he has a hunting obsession too.

my dad can be a prick too. he used to be a big hunter. usally deer he likes to tell about the time he took ryan. lol ryan feel asleep in the tree. lol he's ok with it that we...his sons...don't like to hunt. He stopped back when i was ..i don't know...b4 i started going to school so i was really young when he stopped and he gotr rid of his guns and hunting stuff. he has a little pistal but i'm not going there. anyway skipping along ..my dad was like do this now and do that now. and if i trey to say someting back to him he says i'm back talking and i'm not. but gr he's dad. Any way most of u know how i thought my dad never wanted me and bla bla bla but whell so i don't sound like i'm whining (how ever it's spelled) since things have happened and were all getting some help he's done started telling me he loves me and he hugs me. ok nevermind..

It sounds like your dad has been learning, CR.

Ok..Tomorrow is a new day... I will see what happens..how i do.. etc.. I might not have school tomorrow due to the wildfire's in the area.. But i dont know..

Good luck, FaBMX!

Hey just to let you know I know what you mean and can identify with what you're going through. Sometimes depression can present with symptoms like thoseyou are experiencing, lack of interest in things and difficulty concentrating. I've been there. PLease continue to think that tomorrow is another day, talk to people, live. Girls and stuff can be sorted out (so to speak) after you get yourself sorted out. The emptyness will pass in time.

OK! A new twist to the story.. Today that girl i asked out a few weeks ago.. ( we havnt talked since then..just been real weird) well today in class..she came up and grabbed my sunglasses and was laughing about it ( like it used to be .. i guess this is flirting).. Well WTF?! She did this.. and everythign was cool ( i liked it .. i thought it was a step in the right direction) at lunch i was talking about with some my friends.. then i just 'fell' ( not litterally) back into depression.. I have been real down since.. It weird.. Im so confused now.. I have been sucidal since she told me no.. but havnt done it.. and today im getting my 'progress report' so im prob dead..Im tired of it all. .. Im so confused.. Im just planning ways to die now.. Im not satified with life.. anything i do.. i just cant be satisfied with it.. I dont know.. I just want to know whats up with the girl? Thanks

Life is a challenge, isnt it? Well, I don't think taking your life over any of it will be an answer to your dilemma, it will only add to the pain and suffering you feel already. Plus, killing yourself over a girl? I knew a kid in highschool who did that after this female turned him down. It was not exactly "flattering" for her to know, or anyone else for that matter. People will not be pleased at your actions, especially your parents.You should live to experience more things, things that a life in high school simply cant offer. Youve got manners, I can tell, and a good head on your shoulders, and really, that's ALL you need!!! You will go through many more hardships in life, and each one, including 'girl problems, will make you stronger. You might not believe me but its true....stick it out, dude.

The death part isnt just over this girl.. I have been like this for like a year..its just i have lost all emotions... So it dosnt bother me at all.. Thanks for the replies.. And does this mean she likes me ? or what? Thats what bugging me...

She Probably DOES, dude. But regardless, don't base your life around it, weather she does or not wont change the great person you are. Everything works itsel out, even love.

Well i went for a long walk on a cool evening..and i come back..even more confused.. Why are we here? How can we develop land that is not ours? Its Gods isnt it? I dont know.. Why is life so confusing.. What is the exact reason we are put here? I once heard someone say.. That " Good are sent to heaven, bad are sent to earth" anyone think thats true? Is this hell? or are we in the transition phase between heaven and hell? Is there really an after life? I'm not a very religous ( SP?) man..but maybe i should be? Or is it all pointless? Is it natural for teenagers to have so many questions? Maybe all my problems.. Are curve balls god ( if there really is one ) is throwing me.. If i make it through it.. I goto the next level.. If not.. well im dead.. Man..what long walks do to you..

I think the girl does like you - perhaps she's confused too. But it's best to take a step back, if you can - there's nothing you can do with her at the moment.Try to concentrate on the things that matter, the good things. Life is something we're hardly ever quite satisfied with, but that tends to blind us to the good things, the beauty, the good times, the progress we've made. It's hard to think, "This isn't perfect, but it's still good" - but I think it's the honest attitude to life.

Well, I'm a Christian, FaBMX. I believe we are in a transition place - we don't stay here forever - but it's not a neutral place, it's a place that was made as good, to be a permanent home, but has been spoiled. A good place spoiled is still a place where good is obviously better than bad, even if there is a lot of bad around.It's certainly natural for teens to have a lot of questions. I'm not sure that bad things are deliberate tests by God - but they still are a sort of test. But if life is a test we all fail it. Fortunately we are allowed to succeed anyway.

Ok.. Today.. I feel pretty good.. I dont know if its cause its the weekend or what? This board helps me alot.. But getting what i cant exactly tell all my friends..out.. I will see what happens next.. Thanks everyone

I'm glad it was better today, FaBMX.

Hey. I'm glad things were better for you yesterday. Girls can be tricky to understand, very complex beings. You have to remember that she has stuff going on with her as well. Maybe she does like you, but it may not go beyond friendship, but who knows where friendship leads to. Just try to be a friend to her, and enjoy being in her company, if something more is ,meant to happen it will in it's own time.As for the rest of the things you were writing about, yeah the good go to Heaven, but it's more than that, this is just what my beliefs are so not everyone will agree with them and I may not be right about everything but it's what I think. Jesus died on the cross for everyone, so in a sense we are all "saved" and are all on our way to Heaven, because of what Jesus did for us, he took all our sins and died with them for them so we could be free from them. Earth is not Hell, although it can seem like it is at times, Earth and life is a journey, living is finding out about ourselves, building relationships with others, with, our environment. God made us stewards of the Earth to take care of it, using it to sustain us and keep the earth sustained as well. Life on Earth does end, then we move on. Then you either go on to Heaven or to Hell. Simple, but I'm a Catholic so I believe in Purgatory, a transitional state between Earth and Heaven. Although we are saved by God's grace we are not perfect, so how can an imperfect being enter a perfect world, purgatory is a state where we are purified so we can enter Heaven and be in a perfect world. Hell is when we turn away from God and can't get to Heaven, to this perfectly happy place, being aware of it but never getting to it. That's just what I believe. I'm sorry this post is really long and if anybody has any other beliefs I hope mine don't offend you. It's all right to have these questions, how else do we learn? How else can we grow? It's not always easy, there will be good days and there will be days when you feel down for no apparent reason. Just know that you will get through it, don't give up, on yourself or on other people. You have it in you and don't be afraid to seek help from others. Take it one day at a time, it will work out in time.

I dont know whats going on.. I keep thinking about that girl..and when i think about her. .I start to think .. WTF did she say no..then i get seriously pissed off.. I have spurts of depression.. Like i will be up then slapped down ( this started yesterday,,and today ) I have been good for like ..well since my last post about feeling better.. But im once again sinking.. since it has started.. i have decided to go on a diet.. Anything to do with it?..Today i was reading this thing about first kisses.. and flirting all that fun stuff your supposed to enjoy while being a teen.. Its seriously pissed me off.. ( i havnt had my first kiss..or even been close to a girl romanticly ) I see myself day by day becoming more isolated from society.. Im even considering home schooling to get out of that hell hole with all those screwed up people.. Am i still depressed.. ? or is this something new? or ??? I think i have it all figured out and i end up more confused.. I dont really have sucidal thoughts yet I have had them in the past..I even had attempts in the past.. ( slit wrist .. Had the note written about 2 or 3 times ..ok enough with the history ) I hate to keep bring up this thread.. and i hate to see i only asked questions on here..I dont really have to many answers to anything .. Thanks

Man it's ok to ask questions, to admit that you don't have all the answers. The history as you put it is important you are where and who you are today because of what has happened in the past. Things that have happened in the past can echo into the present and affect us. We can't ignore it, but try to learn from it, to understand the choices we made and if we made mistakes try not to make them again. Don't get too hung up on this girl and why she said no, I know it's really hard to do when you have strong feelings for someone and they don't feel the same way. Yeah you do read and hear a lot about how teenage years are for all that stuff, I didn't kiss a girl properly until I was 17, sure when I was younger like 10,11,12 I had a "girl friend" and would kiss her but it was different, it wasn't the type of relationship you have when you're older. I consider my first kiss to be when I was 17, she was my first true girlfriend, I'm 20 now, almost 21 and since I broke up with her about a year ago I haven't had a girlfriend since. It doesn't bother me, sure I would like to have a girlfriend, but that will happen in tme, don't worry about it. You will meet a girl who you will like and who will like you and it'll be good be patient. I know what it's like to feel isolated from those around you, it's like they are all in this world that you are present in but not really a part of, almost as if you're an observer, and that is hard to deal with. Yeah you want to escape and run, and yeah you're gonna have bad days, and more questions will come. Just try to get by each day as it comes, don't try to answer all the questions, some you may never find an answer to, and some will be answered in time. I think it might be helpful if you did go to see someone about how you are feeling, talking ot people on this can help, but only so much. Go to your doctor or school consellor. They will be better equipped to help you. You are right to keep bringing this up until you are totally happy that the issues or some of them have been resolved. As for sucide, please don't do it, if you must write, write to try and organize your thoughts, to find out whats going on, not as a goodbye note. The pain you will cause by ending your life is so much, I lost a friend last year and still hurt. The whole summer I just thought of the times we had together, when I went to the places we went I expected to see him there. I saw the pain his family went through, his mum and dad, his brother and sister. I was there with my friends. It will just raise more questions. Please keep trying to live, you will find happiness. I just want to give you a hug and I'll pray for you man.

I think it's good to ask questions, even when no-one knows the answers. A lot of life is like that, wrestling with stuff that is too complicated for a simple answer. The wrestling is still worth while.And no-one is counting which posters are asking questions and which are answering them. This place is for both, and needs both.Don't forget, life is for living. We can easily get bogged down in over-analysis, in constantly going over the past. Learning from the past is good, but we should keep our faces looking to the future. If things didn't work out last time, and we're not sure what went wrong or how to avoid it, don't let that stop you trying again. Each new person, each new relationship, is different from all the others before.