Hello, everybody. Nice forum you have here. Ok. I have a problem, or maybe not, I'm not even sure if it's a problem, but my parents just ignore my hard work. I mean in school I've been studying really hard, trying to get good grades, and I managed to get straight A's for first semester and now for 3rd quarter. But when I showed my report cards to my parents they didn't even say good job. Well my mom did say "Oh, that's good", and she said that completely ignoring me. my dad didn't even say anything. I don't know why but I got really mad, because I tried very hard to get good grades. By the way I came to US only 2 years ago, so it was even harder because of the language.They're good parents but I just can't understand why they have to ignore my hard work. Do you guys have any ideas why?All the replys will be very appreciated. Thanks
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Parents don't care
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Maybe that's what they have come to expect of you? Let them know how hard you've worked and maybe they will appreicate it more. Also, you shouldn't just be studying for you parents sake, you're doing it for a good future for yourself.
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Yes you're right, I know it's for my future but right now I don't see any difference if I have good grades or not. Maybe I'll see the difference later in my life when I get a job or something, however right now I'm just losing my determination to study without any support
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Tell them how you feel. I'm sure they will encourage you if you explain it like that.
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Well, I don't think I can talk to them how I feel, because we've never talked about our feelings together. I don't know why.
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Welcome to A2A, Pasarve. It sounds like yours is a rather "cold" family, rather like mine was. Perhaps your parents are people who are not good at feeling, or just not good at giving praise. That doesn't mean they don't care, but they're not good at showing it. You can try to train them, but really if people don't see the need to change themselves, they are unlikely to change much.I think in situations like this it's important to have supportive friends, who can give you some of the moral support your parents can't.
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Wow, you sound just like me!
I always made pretty good grades in high school and I have a brother who didn't. I remember when I was a senior and he was a sophomore, I got a report card with straight 100's. The only time it ever happened. But my parents were too busy raving about the fact that the brother brought his math grade up from 68 to 72 to even mention my stellar grades. That stuck with me for a long time. But I don't think it didn't mean they weren't proud. Heck, they're as proud as punch of me right now.I do think you might want to speak to them about it. It would be helpful for you to understand if they are just not comfortable expressing the affirmation you need, as it would be for them to understand your need for their affirmation. That being said, I think it is their job as parents to give you what you need.
By the way, great job!
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First of all congrats on gettign the good grades... espically since you just moved here and its a different language.. i wish more people were like you as far as it goes for trying hard to learn a new language and all..Do your parents say something when you get bad grades??
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Thanks for the replys, sorry I was working and coudn't reply back. OK@ Ineligible: Yeah, I don't think they're going to change, they were like that for as long as I can remember. About friend: as I said I came to US 2 years ago, and I'm having some difficulties fitting in. I have friends but we're not really open with each other, and I wouldn't feel comfortable talking with them about personal things. Anyway thanks for trying to help. @ damien: I have a brother too. He's junior in HS same as me, and he's failing or almost failing almost all of his classes. And whenever he gets a good grade like B or A (rarely happens) my parents would be like wow that's so good, and would treat him like he has just became the head of the supreme court or something. That pisses me off. About that talking with my parents, I can't talk with them, it's not as easy as it sounds. We never talk.@ football3430: I used to get bad grades when I still lived in my country. They weren't so bad, only sometimes I would mess something up. So then my mom would say something like you have to study more or something like that. And that's all.p.s. Football3430, you don't like people who can't speak English?
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I think what he was saying is that you not only are doing well in school, but you are possibly doing so in a second language.He meant it as a compliment...I think.
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Oh, thanks then
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It looked to me like he was congratulating you for trying hard to learn a new language.
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I wonder if your parents don't want to congratulate you on your grades because they think your brother will feel bad about himself?They may think you don't need support because you are doing so well and don't seem to need it.
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Well, I don't think so, because he's not even trying to get good grades