I just talked on the phone with my mom. She said that my math teacher called and I know what he said: Your son is failing. He has many undone assignments. I know this is true and I tried to warn her. I told her, "I am probably failing math". She just pretty much had nothing to say then. Now that the teacher has called it will be a horrible night for sure. I'll be trying to explain to my mother what to write (I have a broken arm) in order to make up a ton of assignments. In addition, I will be talked to about this shit by my mom and dad, which is one of the worst things for me to go through. I can't handle this. I'm such a god damn failure and hassle to my parents!I just want to go drive to Wal-Mart, buy a hose, and drive to a pretty place where I would poison myself with CO.
Oh no, school problems
Been there, done that. You think failing maths is bad? I've failed Maths, English and Physics all in one go, and I have massive exams at the end of this year that will determine my entire future. Did my parents freak? Yes. Did I have to endure countless "talks" from them? Yes. Did I try to kill myself cause I fucked up? No.I'm in the same boat as you, I've read your posts and I've had all the same problems that you've had (even the broken arm). I suffer from depression and even tho I would have rather died at the time, I did try to get help for myself and it has been working. I went from being a sad little fucker with my grades dropping with every report, never having a girlfriend and wanting to die rather than face my pointless future, to enjoying the little things in life, finding a future career in art that I really wanted to do and I asked a girl out who is now my girlfriend whom I love and have sex with regularly (and safely).I used to be like you, I wanted the same things that you want and all I did was try to help myself, I asked someone for help and with a bit of work and embarassment I got most of it, and I still have more to look forward to.Failing a subject now isn't the end of the world. You just have to stop being so hopeless and don't think that you have to do what the world expects of you. You don't need to go into a boring career, you can write or play music and be happy. But it will require work none-the-less and if you don't put in any effort you're just destroying your own life.
This would be a good time to say to your parents "you know we thought the therapist was over-reacting and I didn't need medication? Well now I think the therapist was right".Your depression provides a reason why you are not doing well, and there is something that can be done about it.