SEVERE anxiety

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hey. so heres the deal. im going to try and explain this without sounding concieted. I'm a 21 yr old male student. I have been told that I am very attractive and that I could do modeling or w/e. I dress in nice dress pants, cashmere sweaters, expensive dress shirts and all that. in all honesty, i consider myself to be a great catch. haha

sooo... i shouldn't really have any problems w/ the ladies right? wrong.

Every time I find myself in an isolated situation (one that could potentially lead to sexual activity- not neccessarily sex) with a girl who I have a crush on, I am overcome by a severe anxiety/panic attack, which has the propensity to span over several hours before and after even making contact with the alledged crush. the experience includes but is not limited to hot/cold flashes, vomiting, dizziness etc.

This issue has become an increasingly obstructive barrier to my social life, which is a significant problem because I moved to a new city a few months ago.

Now, im sure that many people experience this. I do have a prescription for lorazepam for these situations but it doesn't really seem to help (i'm going to ask for a heavier dose and try that).

I dont really know why im posting this. just looking for thoughts i guess. or maybe just to vent a bit.

Quote:im going to try and explain this without sounding concieted.uhh... you kinda failed. But still welcome to a2a lol.As to your problem, just because you look like Mr. Smooth doesn't mean you are one. You focus too much on looks which is bad. And good looks doesn't mean you're "a catch". If you have a sweet personality, you're smart, and you're generous then that would be a pretty good catch. I think the dizziness is from you just getting too hyped up over the situation. You need to calm down and take it easy. Don't stress out and be calm about it. And eat some humble pie.It's pretty common for people to freak out about these things. I can't think of any drug to help you calm down but just for you to calm yourself down. Maybe you're thinking too much about it ya know? Too concerned about how the girl sees you. Maybe it's just me but I love my males gritty, imperfect, laid back and not afraid to get their hands dirty.

Welcome to A2A, anonymous86. There is other medication available for anxiety attacks that may suit you better. You could also have a look at other treatments, such as rational-emotive therapy or hypnotherapy. Don't be afraid of treating this aggressively, perhaps by a combination of things: once you have some experience this will probably disappear.

haha sorry... my last post was so brief. I was kind of worked up at the time. I didnt mean to incinuate that nice clothes etc. = good catch.Thanks for the welcome. I used this site a while back when I was an adolescent. Nice to see it's still running strong.Anyways. I was seeing a psychotherapist regularly (twice a month) and I really liked that but now I live in a different state and I just haven't had a session in a while. I do recognize that I have some body image issues, and am somewhat of a perfectionist and germ-o-phobe. but not to the extent that it affects my daily living.Ugh. Tonight sucked. I got all worked up because I had thought I was going to meet this girl. didn't even happen" And eat some humble pie"the thing is... i DONT think im the shit. honestly. i have just times where im down in a rut thinking about everyone else out on friday night with their friends having fun and im just at my house smoking weed by myself and practicing my guitar. im pretty sure having no social life keeps one humble. at least in my case. though i could understand that people might get the impression that i "look" pretentious or unapproachable. I really despise that because all i want to do is meet new people right now. the thing is, i set such high standards for myself and get disappointed when other people dont meet them. anyways. my biggest issue here is that i can't meet girls. I can... but its hard. and I need to get laid. its been like 7 months. ugh

Quote:I can... but its hard. and I need to get laid. its been like 7 months. ugh If all you are looking for in a woman is too get 'laid' , why not hire a hooker ? Women need to be appreciated the same as any friend that you are going to meet.

right. I understand that. I regard "getting laid" and "meeting people" as two separate goals... not having been laid in a while is just another facet of the overall issue. i do believe that they are connected in that meeting people could lead to getting laid, but that is not the driving factor of meeting people. FYI I appreciate everyones feedback so far... I just wish I had put a little more thought in to my initial post. It was somewhat of a mindless rant, and I don't think it gave much insight to the overall picture.

Quote: It was somewhat of a mindless rant, and I don't think it gave much insight to the overall picture. so fill in the blanks... so readers can have the overall picture. unless you don;t want them to have it.

It kinda sounds like you're after one thing bud other than just meeting people but I don't know.Honestly, I don't know why everyone feels the need to be with someone or find someone to be in a relationship. I guess since I'm still young or something. I always hang out with my friends going to the movies, going ice- skating, roller blading, causing trouble. There's an endless list of things to do. I don't even like going out on Friday nights sometimes. You know what I've been doing my friday nights? I've been getting all my girl friends at my house watching action movies and eating popcorn and prank-calling our guy friends. Last time I made them watch a full marathon of Lord of the Rings. I know for a fact they love me because they actually sat through it and didn't even choke me when I kept rewinding. You don't need to go out to have fun. Invite some friends over or something. Chillax. To me you sound kinda lonely. Think of some things you can do with your buddies.

yeah I wish I could do that. The thing is... I am lonely. I moved away from my home town 6 months ago and, yeah I've met people here in the new city, but nothing has really gelled. I wanted to move away from my home town because I was so sick of my friends there (HS friends). Sure, I have a few really good best buddies, maybe like 3 that I can think of off hand. Everyone else, sure they're friends, but they dont inspire, educate or really connect with me at all. I felt like they all weren't moving ahead in life, or really aspiring to anything at all. And that wasn't/isn't the type of environment I want to surround myself with.So... I live by myself. Far off campus. I know it sounds stupid but I have my reasons (namely, 2 years of roommate hell on the books). I've thought about maybe going to a jazz club or something by myself on the weekend, but usually I just shrug it off at the last minute. I don't have a job so I'm not meeting people there. ohhh boy I dont know.

1. get a job it opens up a lot more doors to meeting new people, if you can't get a job get a hobby , a sport makes you a part of a team , a brilliant way to make new friends.2) making friends takes time ! i move around all the time so i know that its not always easy to just slip into a routine, but you really have to put yourself out there and market your good points.3) go to that jazz club because you love the music not because your desperate to meet someone , who knows what can happen ! just go to enjoy the music its a great way to unwind if you meet new people while doing this fantastic , if you don't then hey there is always next week right ??4)This may be just me but when i start talking to guys who i want to be FRIENDS with not partners , i can generally sense that he is just after one thing and for me this is probably, if not the only reason i would make up a lame excuse just to get as far away as i possibly could ! (such as , owh i'm sorry i have to get back to look after my brother , or owh dear i'm going to get a parking ticket im really sorry i have to leave , regardless of the fact im an only child and i cant drive!!)5)If you have 3 true friends you are so blessed ! , i would rather have 3 friends who i can always count on and who i love wholeheartedly than a sea of people that are mere associates !