my fiancee danny and i have been together since i was sixteen and he was eighteen. when we first started dating, i felt that i loved him more than anything. now, it's different. you see, i thought i loved him because he was my first boyfriend. he had several exes, and therefore, a much better perspective. SO, he really loves me, and i kinda just want out. but we've been dating for almost four years, and plan on being married.... what do i do? and do i want this to end? i've never dated, and being a college girl who's never had a 'boyfriend' really.... maybe i DO love him, and just need more spice or a refresher course or something.... anyone have any advice?
-
What do i do?
-
I definatley think you should put off getting married if you are unsure of how you feel. Have you tried talking to him? Would you two ever consider taking a break for a while?
-
I dont think you should get sucked into anything your unsure about at such a young age. It would be very hard ending it but it sounds to me like thats what you have to do. You cant stay with someone you dont love.
-
well, i do love him, i just feel like maybe i'm loving him out of habit instead of out of choice. i've woekn up every morning loving him for so long now.... we're gonna get married. it's a fact. we're gonna have kids. it's a fact. we're gonna be togehter forever because we've been though way too much at this point.... but i'd so much rather still fill up with wonder every time i look at his beautiful eyes, dream of him every night and giggle on the phone..... i just feel like the spark is gone, and i really want to get it back.
-
i don't think a break would help us, but it's a good idea.... i'm just too scared to try.
-
Then I'm not sure what you're saying here. Are you asking for advice, or are you just unloading? People could just tell you to stop worrying, but I doubt that it would help.
Are you concerned that you're going to go through the motions, get married, have kids, and then be tempted to cheat on your husband?
-
I don't really get it either. You're kind of saying that you want to try being with other guys, but you're saying that, "as a fact", you will be getting married and have kids. Can't have both unless you want to have affairs after you are married.
-
ilive near leeds
-
OK what the heck does where you live have to do with anything in this thread?
-
in respoinse to stevea and sdp, it's not that i want another relationship. what i meant to say is that if i do end it with him, i've never really dated anyone else. if we cut this off, i would be unable to get into a relationship with someone else, because i've never been on the dating scene. i was happily single, and then i got a crush, and started dating him, and now we're here. i've tried to tell him, but he seems to think the same thing y'all did.... that the only reason i could want out is because i want in with someone else. i AM scared that i'm doing the wrong thing by staying with him, but i am NOT intersted in another relationship. i'm trying to find a way to gently confront him, so that he knows what's going on, without getting his heart broken. what scares me the most is i think that i'm gonna try and explain, and he's gonna misunderstand, and he's gonna call it off, and i'm gonna realize that i was happy with him after all, when it's too late to get him back. how can i tell him that we need to refresh our relationship, without making him panic and run?