PLEASE READ-what do you make of this msn convo?

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well I finally somehow summoned the guts to talk to her and here it is. we are both 15 and in grade 9 by the way.me- hiHer- heyme- i just wanted to say sorry for colouring on your shirt with hilighter in grade 3Her- hahahaHer- awww lol thats okay that was a funny dayme- i tried calling you but you weren't home actuallyme- I dont think thats worth making a phone call though =/Her- hahaHer- yes we had some good times in grade 3 lolme- yame- I was actually going to tell you something else as well on me phone but I don't think i shouldHer- ohh okay, well if you dont think you should then you dont have tome- ok, I don't think it's justified even though its trueHer- okayme- I also wanted to say sorry for not saying hi or something to you properly those times you said hi to meHer- no probleemme- and was it you whose cat died and you didn't coher to school for a day or two a few years back?Her- lol yeah probablyme- ok, I didnt want to be rude but I just alwasy wondered who it wasHer- lol ohhme- wow I cant believe Im actaully talking to you now =/ im going to regret this lolme- about what I told youHer- hah whyme- because I'm pretty socially retarded and I implied some personal things in this conversationHer- ohhh i seeme- wow you don't know how much I wish I could be like I was when I was 8 or 9 =/. that doesnt really have anything to do with you though lolHer- lolme- im getting this awkward feeling from your responses and this is a lot more than i wanted to say so lets just end this here roflHer- yeah sorry im occupied with my music at the momentme- oh jeez no lol, its definitely not your fault. As long as you know what I think I want you to know.Her- yeahme- and finally, I just want to apologize for this. you don't deserve this. Her- dont deserve what?me- this type of conversationHer- dont worry about itme- alright. well in any case, you are totally awesome =P. bye.Her- thanks lol, buhbyeeme- and sorry, one last thing. I would have much rather said all this by phone. just wanted you to know that. byeHer- lol okie buh bye What do you think she thinks of me now rofl? I'm not sure if I screwed up. we used to be friends in up until third grade btw, until I moved away. I came back in grade 8.

umm it was a conversation about nothing but really bad spelling

Um.. you came on pretty strong.. she was probabty wtf thinking

ya, I know I did. I was feeling really strongly at the moment. I kind of knew it wasn't the right thing to do as well. But did anyone ever get that feeling where you just really want to change someone's opinion about you or make them see what you're really like? well either way, it's too late to change that now and I'm going to have to face her tomorrow. and amanda - about nothing? lol I call it a full confession.....im screwed, arnen't I guys?

what is soher?

OH. Im SO SORRY lol. the Soher and soMe and other errors like that were from when I edited in in MS word. I replaced all the names and in doing so had to replace some me and her parts of words. ill edit it now....

Id give her some time.

okay, im 14, and i can relate to you. a lot. i used to be too terrified to even look a girl in the eyes ( i still am on a bad day :laughing: ) and i got more confident by talking to my female friends and basically learning all the do not dos of talking to a girl and being around girls. seriously, there is no way to teach a guy how to talk to girls. there is however a way to teach him how not to talk to girls, which in turn leaves only the good stuff. and let me just give you some advice:

1. for the love of gawd, STOP APOLOGIZING. i can count like 10 times you apologized to her for stupid stuff and that is the number one way to creep out and annoy people. seriously, back when i was really paranoid and insecure i used to apologize to my friends endlessly for stupid insignificant stuff, and you know what they did? THEY DITCHED ME. do not make the same mistake. the first part, where you apologized about the marker thing. okay, that was good. cute thing to say, started the conversation off well. what you're doing though is being weird and rambling and obsessively apologizing. Stop. If you see her, irl, or on msn, take a deep breath ( yes even for msn ) and remember that you are you, and theres nothing wrong with you, and you dont need to change yourself to impress her. That is the key to being yourself. Be natural, say what comes to MIND, not what you think will make her laugh. Dont panic about responding quickly. Its better to respond to someone slowly with something good to say than to babble about crap. And dont worry about saying lame stuff. You're guaranteed to say the occasionally unfunny remark here and there, just dont try and prevent it too much. the more you talk to her and other girls, the better your lame filter will become. seriously, its that simple. dont make jokes too much either. a joke is made from an opportunity. someone says something, it reminds you of a funny joke, you tell the joke. dont force yourself to joke, nothing, and i mean nothing is more blatantly desperate than a guy whos doing bad standup for a girl. you talk, and make jokes when appropriate. you dont joke nonstop. im not saying you will do, but its an easy mistake.

wow, so much for listing them. i just bundled them all up there. ah well.

2. AVOID ROMANTIC TALK ON MSN. this is very important. do not, DO NOT DO NOT tell her you like her on msn. do not even bring up any obscure hint. if she asks you if you like her at some point, over msn, tell her no. and then the next day at school say 'yeah, i do like you actually, but i feel like ya deserved to be told to your face'. its okay to compliment her, i.e 'your hair looked great today' but avoid that stuff too much. you dont want to turn into a gal pal, believe me. girls dont date their gal pals...although they do experiment with them, but thats only the female ones.

3rdly, and finally, stop stop stop overanalyzing everything she says. seriously. RELAX. enough of this 'im getting this awkward feeling from your responses' stuff. You are going to scare her. To avoid this stuff, just relax. seriously. the mere sight of this girl may excite you, but relax. dont act like an air headed stoner, but i mean, be laid back. say what comes to mind. dont care so much if you make her laugh. dont obsess over if the last thing she said to you seemed okay. when i talk to someone, i dont walk away thinking 'well theyre nice, but they DID say something ever so slightly odd during the conversation'. i just think, theyre nice. id forget any mildly odd thing someone said to me, unless it was hurtful or something. which is why you musnt fear saying odd stuff sometimes. not too odd, but just whatever comes to mind. seriously, if you're not you, and you put on a show for this girl, she will sense it. just keep talking to her, and you will feel confident. you have to talk to her normally though. talk to her like shes any other friend, listen to her problems, have fun, and once youve got a foundation you can make romantic advances. without that, and without confidence, you will accomplish nothing.

oh, and a bonus tip i learned. when you see a tv show, or movie, with a romantic scenario in it? ignore it. forget you saw it. by that i mean, a lot of movies and shows about love stories are written in ways that people would like to imagine, not with things that really happen. the cheerleader never secretly has a crush on the class geek she never talks to. now, if that geek got a little confidence and talked to her more, she might start to. and no, im not calling you a geek.

woah i practically wrote a book there, sorry i have a habit of rambling and structuring what i say poorly. but i hope you do well and take something from my advice. good luck buddy.

-AK

Hey, that was GOOD!

even tho why no romantic talk? people were doing that with letters before Bell invented the phone was in diapers or his parents and so on and so forth so why is it not okay on msn? or yahoo or whatever else? id tend to prefer expressing my feelings on msn over face to face because it can come out easier for me

I used to think the same way you did, but it's like girls can be put off by internet talking. For the most part, girls I've talked to seem to realize that I'm kind of a different person when I talk online. The time it takes me to read what they said and type a response gives me time to analyze things and type what I think I should say, not what actually needs to be said. It's like, girls can sense that a guy who talks better online can't communicate as well face to face, which is where most conversation will be taking place.

well yeah but once ive got the initial feelings out im good to go

i think hes saying no romantic talk online cuz you might come off as just a total loser, especially if you dont act that way at all when youre talking to her in public.

Well for one letters didn't go like this:"hotbunni12: ur hotXogatargaloX: lol thx XogatargaloX: brb"Not to romantic. It's more spicey to do it in real life.

ok thanx guys, just want to say ty for all of the suggestions and tips although I may not necessarily agree with it all, its nice to know people are actually helping out lol. and she wasn't at school these last 2 days so I didn't have a chance to talk to her anyway. i think i may have scared her off rofl =/. so I don't know...the next time I'll see her would be at one of my exams next monday

ugh...i was just talking to this one girl, who was going on about how she hated herself and thought she was disgusting to look at, and im like no, and shes like prove it, and i didnt want to but i like told her about how pretty she is, etc. i mean its not like i brought it up completely, but yeah its not like doing it in real life. avoid it entirely.

Okay well from her responses it seemed like she really wasn't interested in talking to you at all. What you need to do to rekindle the relationship wether it was a gf or just friend. Call her by PHONE. Ask her how things have been and you didn't have a choice to move, and that you understand things have changed in the years but you really want to stay friends with her. And if you like her be upfront about it, don't wait around because then you will regret it when someone else gets her heart. If you can't find anything to talk about on the phone ask her what she is into now, what kind of music and go with that. Ask her to go to the movies but not at first wait until you know that you guys have become true friends again.

im not tryina be funny or nothin youngin.. but u made urself look like a complete fool... im just tellin it how it is... now, im not expert... but i do know that women dont need all this apologise this apologise that...

ye, u got to be more smooth... n get 2 the point... none of this tryina make her guess, it doesn't work...