I have never tried this before but I figure why not give it a shot. I'm not really sure where to start...so here it goes anyways. I have been a major loner my entire life....probably more than anybody really knows. In high school I use to think it was my fault, however when I really started think about it I started to remember how when I was in pre-school. I was always doing stuff by myself while other kids played with one another. Never in my entire life have I ever had a single "good" friend, besides my older sister. After graduating from high school I thought things might change once I got to college but instead they have only gotten worse until recently when things have gotten awful. I often have panic attacks being inside crowded places like Walmart. For a period of about 3 months I thought my leasing agency was conspiring with the police department to raid my apartment and throw me in jail, due to problems I have been having with my leasing agency....however now that things have calmed down a bit I have been able to force it to the back of my mind. I often have trouble falling asleep at night due to conversations that occur inside my head....it's a bit hard to explain but it's like have two voices talking to one another and then I get so caught up in the conversation that I realize 2 hours have passed and I'm awake. Does anybody else experience this?
Mental Health in Question
Voices in your head, and fearing people are conspiring against you, are two sypmtoms of schizophrenia. Schizophrenia can make people loners in childhood, and it tends to particularly break out fully in late teens or early twenties. It can be controlled well by modern medication, so you should get professional treatment.Panic attacks are a separate issue, but they also can be controlled well by medication.