Last week, my new boyfriend and i had sex for the first time and it kinda didn't happen, we were both fully aroused after an hour of foreplay. But everytime he tried to enter me he couldn't, I've not had this problem with previous partners. He said he must be out of practice cos hes not been in a relationship for a long time. So what happened? and how can we ensure its ok next time, so there isn't some big pressure?
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Sex failure
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My best guess is nerves and performance anxiety...he wanted so bad for things to work that he just tried to hard. Happens to many of us from time to time. Best news is to keep working at it and not get frustrated, especially him as that'll only make things worse. If you're comfortable with him knowing you're here asking questions, bring him along and let some of us other guys try to help him calm down and not worry about this too much. When this happens it is SO incredibly embarassing...it should ALWAYS work or something is really wrong....we can help him understand that as well. Good luck
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Well i just don't want it to become more of an issue than it is, theres gonna be a big "what if" now the next time we have sex, so what do i do? Wait till he initiates sex or should i? we have discussed it but i still can't help feeling it was my fault that i didn't turn him on enough. what can i do to reassure him more without dwelling on it?
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I had this problem a while ago. I'd been out of a relationship a long time and I had a performance issue with someone new. My honest advice is not to make an issue of it, the male ego is fragile. Make it out to be no big deal, don't make him feel it is an issue. Go out and have fun, do you normal things, kiss him, cuddle etc. Things will be fine don't worry! All he needs to know is you still think he's Mr.Wonderful in your eyes so tell him and show him. If it becomes an issue then you might want to say something like - lets go to bed for a cuddle with the intention of doing just that, just for a cuddle and a chat lying in his arms with no thought of having sex. Lying down together on a regular basis (just say you need a cuddle), and being intimate but not neccessarily having sexual contact will make him more at ease and relaxed. Things just have a habbit of happening when you're just relaxed.
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Thanks for the great advice, we spend most of our time just cuddling and kissing, or holding hands. I tell him he's fantastic and everything, cos he is, the only reason i care is that i don't want him to be bothered about this. I try to reassure him i love him regardless, don't know if its working tho.
