Ok guys... this one is embarrassing... but, I had a girlfriend for over two and a half years.. and I got her off one time..I don't know... A lot of people are always quick to blame the guy and maybe I am at fault. However, when we first got together.. she was the first person i had ever had sex with.. she had had experience before me, so I knew walking in I would be the one lacking in skill and we were both accepting of this fact.However, as time went on..even if I couldn't last long.. I had incredibly low cool down time.. I really don't want to put the blame on her.. I mean people always say "try fore play" or "try this" and "try that!" and well.. i mean.. Well.. the problem with foreplay and later on in the relationship she even commented how we didn't do it anymore..Is that it was ultimately worthless.. if she wasn't in the mood, I couldn't get her in the mood.. nothing at all I could do.. If she was in the mood.. she was more likely than I was to want to jump the gun and just flat out have sex.I mean.. we tried different positions, different things, I really tried to be open and communicate but, I could never get her off after more attempts than I can really count.She would every so often get off if she rode me and stimulated herself manually, while I was playing around with her.. however, even then she didn't care to ride much and always said that it was like "she didn't fully get off"While I do accept that it does require more determination and persistence on the part of a guy to get a girl off however, after over two and a half years.. the first time I manage to get her off near the very end of the relationship was doing the opposite of what she wanted.. she wanted "hard and deep" so during one of the last few times before we broke up.. I was teasing her more by going faster and not nearly as deep in..sure enough she begged me to go deeper and harder and as I didn't... she got off.. or at least claims to.. I definitely noticed a lot more sensation, and arousal than ever before.So I guess.. after all that time.. is it crazy to think maybe the reason she didn't get off is because, she didn't know what she wanted? I mean communication is part of it, so stands to reason if she doesn't know what she wants.. then how can anyone give it to her? I mean even know I am willing to bet she would prefer "deep and hard" oppose to "light and fast" however, thinking back it stands to reason anytime she was building up and I was doing something similar she would start begging and whining for me to change it up...I don't know.. after almost three years.. is it safe to think after 3 years the blame is mutual?
Well... over two and a half years..
If you tried to please her, you did what you could and shouldn't feel guilty. Instead of assigning blame just accept the situation for what it was. Maybe it was nobodies fault, maybe that's just the way things were. Accept it and move on.
Your right.Wasn't really trying to assign blame.. I suppose that was just one of those random unresolved issues that was a bit awkward..I just happened to overhear a conversation before we broke up where people were talking about how if a guy doesn't get a girl off its his fault..And that was something I felt was sorta overly judgmental seeing as it takes two people to have sex.Either way on to new people.