Dealing with people

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How do you deal with a person whose actions contradict everything they say? And despite how much you care for them, their hypocritical personality is annoying you to death. My friend has really changed alot she's like... really slutty type. I hate using her in the same sentence as that word but she reveals her body too much and she acts like it. All her pictures are slutty and then she gets mad when people treat her like a slut or when she gets hit on. She doesn't like it when I spend too much time with my other friends but she does the exact same thing only more. I think her actions are pushing me away from her. I really care about her but I can deal with the way she is any longer. I don't want to but... maybe it's just me? All the girls in my school dress the same way maybe I'm just different? But I don't like revealing myself like that, I feel too awkward? Maybe I'm the one who's different and I shouldn't be changing her just because it doesn't suit me. I guess. I'm not sure though..? Why do girls degrade themselves like that anyway? Is it because some guys or even friends provoke it, the media or something? I would at least think that preserving yourself or something... I don't know I'm just blabbing

i think she was making the mistake of changing herself to fit in with the other girls. if i'm right, then there isn't much you can do except ask her why she is acting and dressing the way she is and try to understand her feelings,and help her. yeah, it is partly the media. and partly peoples stupidity in believing that some of this stuff looks good, like being skin and bones(literaly), and barley wearing any clothes.

yah for real that's the OD long shot lol but thanks I'll try anyway. my prayers take forever to be answered lol I can't stand being tested on patience :fearful: lol but it's ok I'm holding out

I think, it is mostly influenced by the media and peers.

Some people think "O its cool to show 90% of my skin..."

I am not really strong in this subject, but my advice would be to let her learn the hard way. Even though you really care about her.

Pfft, if they were really cool they'd just go nekkid.People should be judged not only by the way they dress. If she decides to be a sheep and dress like everyone else then that's her choice. Also, she is definately allowed to be mad when people treat her like a 'slut'. From what I understand people are sluts because of their actions, not the way they dress.She may well be bringing that attention on herself, but I don't think she is being hypocritical.

Interestingly enough, I have recently become involved with a girl that acted the same way. It was only until we had a one-on-one talk that I found out that this was only an external persona that she was exerting to people because she has a conflict with who she really is.

Perhaps that is the way your friend is. The problem is you cannot help someone change who doesn't want to change.

I had a friend that was very pessimistic. He had a lot of negative energy and I often felt drained whenever I was around him. I tried to exert some of my positive attitude toward him, but he kept to his ways. He didn't want to change. He was afraid to. Eventually, I found that it was better for me to not hang around him often.

So, to sum up what I've said. If she contradicts herself, there is most likely a conflict somewhere in her life. If she wants to change and if she doesn't want to change is important. Try to recognize what she really wants and talk to her about it. Don't talk to her condescedingly, that will just push her away. Try to understand where she's coming from, and act from there.

lol I can't though. We used to do everything together and be just the same but she's gotten so... superficial. Like "oh my gosh how can you not have a gucci bag and call yourself a true new yorker" crap like that. She's entirely lost a sense of common decency by the way she acts and treats other people. Normally I tell myself I would never hang out with a person who is so into herself but she's becoming exactly that. I don't know it just seems like too much. I'll give it time and see how it goes. It's her choice so she can do whatever she wants.And oh yeah. I don't know about over there but if you were skirts that barely cover your but or really tight shirts you're branded a slut over here. I don't know why it's just the way things go.

You can't what?

She may be dressing like a slut but not necessarily be acting like one.

ehh... weird. I mean I can't stand up to her like that. tell her what I've noticed. she's been like a sister to me and now she's someone else but either way it's fine. I guess it just seems like a drastic change because she used to be all sweet and stuff and now she's taking nastyishnessly lol weird pictures and showing them to random guys when she has a bf. she's already pretty she doesn't need to... do that. Idk maybe she's just maturing. But I've already learned to deal with it for now.

Quote: Idk maybe she's just maturing Maturing wouldn't be the word I would use. lol

How i see it, if you look good you will feel good, if you feel good you feel more confident and better about yourself.The media has very much set out what makes us look good and by following celebs etc and trying to look as good makes you feel good.--Its wrong and women are in particular more prone to being manipulated by the media, then again, they wouldnt look at it like that would they? They see an image they like and want to become so they go out of the way and become that very thing.At your age boys are also a big thing and she is no dout experimenting in what works for her to attract men. We are simple creatures and the more flesh we see the better (not too much, leave some to the imagination plz ladies!)Just remember what it is about her that makes her feel like a sister to you and accept her for who she is

You're right about the media having an affect on the way we perceive ourselves.Quote: if you look good you will feel good What does it mean to look good? It's a matter of self image. The problem with American society is we let the TV influence so many things that we do in our lives. We're letting the media affect our self image, and it should not. We should be in shape for the sake of being healthy for ourselves, etc.

but can't you look good and not be half naked? and if you already have a "mate" why would you want attraction from the opposite sex if you're "devoted"..?

Quote: but can't you look good and not be half naked? Of course.Quote: if you already have a "mate" why would you want attraction from the opposite sex if you're "devoted"..? Generally, the person is showing that they like attention.The funny thing about this is a lot of girls dress like this only because they feel they have to. A lot of them don't even like a lot of attention. Often, this is caused by a conflict of internal and external persona.

weird. this is why I am not a people's person lol too confusing.

In other words, a person may not act like their true selves because they think their "friends", aquaintances, and complete strangers will think they are boring or whatever. So instead of being themselves (true/internal persona) they put on an act that others see (fake/external persona).