How do I tell my boyfriend, (who I've been dating for almost a year and a half), that I want more romance in our relationship. Now, I'm not meaning sexual favors.. I mean I want him to show me that he truly does care about me. I know he does love me, but he hasn't really shown it. All her really does to "show" me is tell me that he's very protective of me, and he doesn't want to see me leave him.. ever......You know how in the movies the guy surpruses the girl at times with flowers, or something special. I want that!Am I being a little to... it's all bout me, or what. I do a lot of things for him to show him I care for him. Is there anything.. like certain hints I can use to tell him what I'd like? I just would like a little more feeling in our relationship.
How do I tell him...
All he really does to "show" me is tell me that he's very protective of me, and he doesn't want to see me leave him.. ever......
I know you don't want to hear this, but that is a VERY BAD sign. That is one of the biggest red flags of a controller and abuser. Doesn't have to be physical abuse...verbal abuse is very real and a precursor to physical abuse in many cases.
Do some Google searches on Verbal Abuse.
A few questions:
Does he want to know where you are all the time and who you are with?
Has he in any way discouraged you from hanging out with your friends and/or family?
Does he tell you how to dress? (in a nice way...like: I like when you wear this.)
Does he tell you to do (or not do) things "for your own good"?
Has he ever told you to quit a job because it was "bad" for some reason?
Does he sometimes say things that hurt your feelings, and when you say something about it, says he was "just joking" or "you're too sensitive" ?
Have you given up your hobbies and interests because you felt he didn't approve of them/like them?
Does he tell you "how you are"? ie, You're clumsy, you're messy, you're not good at "xxxx"? Are these things really true or not??
Is he racist?
Does he blow up at inanimate objects or normal irritations that most people would blow off?
When you fight, does he frighten you with his voice or body language?
After the fight does he say "I just love you so much that I get upset when you (insert whatever "made" him mad here).
Is he an impatient, aggressive driver?
Do you sometimes feel like you're "walking on eggshells" so you don't "make him mad"?
I hope this is not the case, but really, really think about these things and be honest with yourself. Been there, done that, and IT ONLY GETS WORSE.
yeah but wear do you think these people who make the movies get these ideas from.. realy life... guys can go up to their gf and show up with flowers theres nothing wrong with that!
see, that's the thing. I know for sure my boyfriend is not the type to hurt me, mentally OR physicaly. I just would like more romance in our relationship. I'm not saying there's no romance, I'm just trying to say I'd like more. (Any other girl would want this...)
In reply to: type to hurt me, mentally OR physicaly what abuot verbally? In reply to: no yes!
I dunno.. I guess I'm just blind. I have such a bond with this guy, and we know each other like the backs of our hands. I'm just scared of letting go.. if thats what I have to do. But it's not what I want to do.
Looking at these posts has managed to rekindle my faith in femalekind.There ARE some decent girls out there after all!I consider myself to be a romantic fool sometimes. I love giving flowers and making girls feel special, because the reaction makes me feel great...unfortunately it is rare that I find a girl who is either deserving or enjoys such things.Tell your guy to give you the romance you need! Sounds like you deserve it! Good luck to you!
Guys LOVE it when you tell them what the hell you are concerned about or worried about, instead of beating around the proverbial bush! Trust me, he'll appreciate you just telling him. VERY TRUE! Guys don't get "hints". You kinda have to hit them over the head with it. Be very straightforward and see what he does with it.
I don't think the girls' way is as healthy...I've seen it destroy friendships between females and between males & females. You are sooooo right. On the flip side though, when girls are blunt with each other, that can get ugly too!