I was going to get an early night, I've had a fairly long day, been to a friends wedding but didn't really want to stay around for the piss-up. but I can't sleep, my head is just buzzing again and I can't stop the thoughts going through it and it is absorlutly driving me nuts and I know I'm going to do it again but I can't stop myself, I just want things to be quiet, I've taken my med's but they arn't stopping it, I don't even know why I'm here but I can't sleep, I should sleep, the pills usually knock me out, but my head is just spinning and I just feel that numbness again and I want it to fucking stop. I don't want to wake my dad, he doesn't understand it and Bill has gone away for the weekend, I can't phone anyone incase I wake him up. grrrrrrrrrrrrr my fucking head I just can't make it stop
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I hate this
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hey diver i not know you very long but come on talk to me if u cant phone anyone?
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i'm awake right now
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i'm soooooooooo sorry i wasn't online. i shouldn't have done what i did and got grounded. ( it's not fun typing in the dark, parents think i'm sleeping.) it's 11PM here so i'm betting your asleep. man you know you can ALWAYS email me. I know why your not and i don't care. email me!
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I fell asleep downstairs with brandy, it was easier to handle it
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ummm yeah sorta, she's about 12 inches long and holds 1 litre... well she's almost empty now so it will be another dead soldier
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took a walk today down to the old war barracks, amazing sunset
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I hate it when I get like this, I hurt the people I care about the most
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I hate it too, you feel awful and trying to deal with your feelings you end up hurting other people. Not fair is it? I think maybe you should try and find another way to deal apart from the brandy, especially having taken meds then drinking, doesn't seem like a good idea.Whenever you feel like that just try to relax, know you're not alone, cause there are people who are thinking of you, try and feel that, allow yourself to feel that.
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We all take our anger and emotions out on other people. Good enough friends will hoepfully understand and help you through it rather than heating up the moment. Sometimes u have to ask them to tell you to shut the hell up and just take a few minutes to think about what your actually saying. Although its not a simple cure, before we can help ourselves with ne thing we have to control the outlash of them.
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In reply to:
I think maybe you should try and find another way to deal apart from the brandy, especially having taken meds then drinking, doesn't seem like a good idea.
Tell him about it!
In reply to:
know you're not alone, cause there are people who are thinking of you,
yeah, like me. i cryed all night about what happened.
