I dont actually have any questions, just something I need to say. Depression runs in my family. Most people cope with it by drinking in excess. I myself have been fighting with it for a long time but have never told anyone about it. My cousin actually hanged himself last year and I always think that if he had not done that, it would have been me. But I cant bring myself to do it now because I think it would be selfish. Not sure why I think that. I have noticed that my depression usually revolves around my relationships, or lack there of. Whenver I go a long time without any kind of affection from the opposite sex, it hits me hard. I know thats a terrible reason to feel the way I do because there are many people out there much worse off than myself. I have never been in a relationship in which the woman lives close to myself. Ive had many sexual conquests but I have only had 2 girlfriends. One when I was in college and she lived more than an hour away. The other was from my soccer career in Brazil, and when I had to leave I had to leave her aswell. I ended up going back but only for a month and half. So that relationship was doomed from the beginning. And when I go out I dont ever look to pick up because I have an incredibly low self esteem and I never actually think I can pick up. I really and truly hate my life. Which is a terrible thing to say because I actually have a great life according to some people. I have traveled to mant different places, Ireland, Scotland, Australia, Malaysia, most of the continental US and I played pro soccer in Brazil. Ive also got tons of friends and people generally like me. But I sitll am ridiculously depressed and I cant help it. Anyways. Like i said Im not posing any questions. This is just a rant I needed to get off my chest. I have never told anyone of my issues and prolly wont tell anyone. I dont really expect anyone to actually read this either. Sorry for any misspelled words I may have out in here. And Im sure Ive left out words aswell. Its 5am here right now and I seem to be suffering from insomnia. Oh well.
If your old enough, you can visit a dr, or a counselor, and no one needs to know. It might help you if you really want help. (I know you said it was just a rant).There are a million reasons to be depressed, and none of them are "more appropriate" than the others. I would seek some professional help, and possibly meds? Depression as you know, makes life harder. Yet, there is comfort in hiding in a warm fuzzy blankie for a few days. Try to get some help so you can enjoy your accomplishments!!!