Hi, I don't really post here all that often (in fact I think I've only posted a tiny bit a long time ago), but I find this board really helped me out before and so here I am again lol. I just want your opinion on what you think someone might think of me.In first semester (my high school is separated into semester 1 and 2), in one of my classes, the teacher assigned seating spots and I ended up next to some girl that I didn't really know. We got to talking after a few classes (which is a mystery in and of itself, as I am about the shyest, most closed-up person you could meet), and I guess you could say we kind of became friends...(sort of, maybe, I don't know?).Anyway, she genuinely seemed to be interested in what I had to say and it was pretty good to talk to her. Another common ground between us was the work itself. We're both kind of smart students -- 85%+ (or 90%+ in her case), and so it was not too hard to talk to her.So after that class ended I had her instant messaging address (windows live messenger), and during this semester, I kind of got to talking to her again online. In fact, she stayed up pretty late (sometimes until 2:30AM), and we had quite a few conversations from like 12AM to 2AM (for example), they were just about things in general - work, music, and in fact the bulk was probably random things I can't remember. Also she's not in any of my classes this semester.Now, this would be all fine and well, except I have had some what of a problem myself to begin with. To put it bluntly (which is often the best way to put it), I don't have any friends. At school, I go to all of my classes, perhaps talk a bit to people sitting near me in them, but come lunch, I have absolutely no where to go. Usually, I go to the library and sit at one of the study tables, (you know, like a good-natured smartish guy), but half the time (or maybe 2 thirds), I'm not really doing anything. I just pretend lmao (pathetic I know), Anyway, I do either that or sometimes take a walk outside the school at lunch and come back for 5th period (my last). This way, there's no way anyone will see my sitting by myself for no reason, and I can perhaps put on somewhat of a facade about myself. "Sure I have friends, you just don't know them. You don't see me too much at lunch? Hmm...I guess we don't hang out with the same people."I have no clue if this is working, but that's a separate problem having do with me not being able to talk to people and all that (social problem - I don't really know). Anyhow, I've been doing this for the last year and a half and it's the only way I find I can get buy without embarrassing myself or focus too much about the problem (at the moment it's more necessary for me to focus on "Math: Functions and Relations"So as you can see, my entire facade thing I have going on here (or not, maybe people just don't say anything), is set up perfectly for the kind of person I have become - someone extremely shy, who never talks to anyone and who doesn't have friends and wouldn't be able to talk to any during any free time (I'm hiding from people lol). Wow I truly am in a sad state of affairs eh? Anyway, I therefore don't really talk to much to this girl at school. Maybe once or twice in the library or when she says "Hi" to me passing in the hall. That's another thing - I'm not really used to/good at talking to people so it's even hard for me to manage a "Hey", unless someone says Hi first.So now I'm wondering what she could possibly think of me. Right now, I'm already so far deep into my way of avoiding people that I don't really think there's a way out (and frankly I'm not even sure how I got in). At lunch she probably only sees me at the library or not at all. I also haven't talked to her much outside of messenger since the end of last semester. Just yesterday she passed by me in the hall while I was standing next to a door and glanced back briefly and I think she saw me kind of glancing in her direction. I'm not even sure if she expected me to say Hi but it was kind of an awkward moment since neither of us said anything (although she was walking so it wasn't like we stared at each other for 2 minutes)...So I guess what essentially I'm asking is what could she think of me? I'm probably certain she thinks I'm a bit odd (at least) and maybe that I'm not someone with too many friends...( "That's a bit weird - wonder why he has no friends. I probably shouldn't talk to him too much lol" ). I really don't know what to make of this situation as I never expected to be talking too much to anyone at school for the next 3 years. Maybe a girl's opinion would be better? I'm not sure, and frankly, I'm not sure why anyone would talk to someone like me in the first place. This just isn't sitting well with me and perhaps it's because for the last 2 or 3 years I've been kind of - no - completely dead in the social department. lmao.Wow now it seems as though I've written a fucking essay here. Thanks a lot to anyone who's willing to read it as I'm sure such events are probably not very interesting to other people. lol thanks
What could she think of me?
First of all, remember the way you see yourself reflects on how others will see you ! You are putting yourself down to much ! You sound like a nice guy, but very insecure ! You already know the things you would like to change about yourself, which is a beginning.
The girl did give you her messenger address, it means she wanted to get to know you better ! Don't you think ?
You should say hi the next time you see her in school. Maybe she is just as shy as you are and waiting for you to approach her !
You have chatted with her and talked about many things, you must have found something you have in common ! You say you have the school work in common ! You are both smart kids, congrats by the way :smile: you can maybe ask for an opinion or ask her to help you with some homework you are having problems with ?
Good luck !
and well, you are going to be like that for much of your life, and you are going to marry to the first woman that pays attention to you. which will lead you to trouble along the way. unless, you take proactive actions. that is to get busy! and get your heart broken, and learn about the game. instead of thinking in theoretical terms, and in the way a smart, but yet shy would think, just go up to her and be assertive, not aggressive, and straightforward. that shyness is limiting your potential. all the things you can, and you will offer. you probably think what is going to happen if you and do what i told you to do, instead of simply doing it. if you think about the possible outcomes, and your fear of failure, you rationalize and you justify your failure in this department. you are your worst enemy, and your best friend.this advise might sound as something you don't want to hear, but simply go and talk to her in person, and socialize with people and you will see your life change.
Here's what I think that you should do... although you may not like what I'm about to say. I was a lot like you a few years ago. Although I did have a tight knit group of friends. Other than that I really wasn't all that social. What I think you should though is just jump in, and try and become more social. Try and make some friends and become more social. Becoming friends with this girl could be a good idea, unless you want more than just a friendship with her. From my experience becoming more social is amazing. I now have a lot more friends, am more well known, and more people will come to me with what they need. You don't have to do anything outrageous, just talk with more people and try to become friends with them, because you seem like a great guy.