Ok...

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Ok, this is a thread I didn't think I'd be making for a very long time...(Yes, I meant to go to the Relationships forum)Basically, there's this girl I've been chilling (in other words, smoking) with for a few months now. She works at the place right next to where I work so it's real convenient.Well, for a while there she was going through some shit, so I helped her out with whatever I could help her out with (mostly advice and all that). I even spent a few nights at a hotel with her just so she woudln't be by herself.For the longest time all my feelings for her were nothing big, I just wanted to help her out, and she's fun to smoke with (and it doesn't hurt that she's beautiful, too).Recently (the last week I guess), I think I've been falling for her or whatever.... basically, I think about her at random times (like at work) when I never used to. When she's not working I wonder where she is (she had two days off, and I was thinking she quit or something), plus I worry about how she's doing (she's currently staying at her boyfriends house, who is crazy and she knows it, but can't seem to forget about him). I even go out of my way sometimes just to go see her.So, basically, I don't know what to do. I really don't want to try to start a relationship with her (though it'd be very easy to start it)... but I kinda do. wtf...

Just to clarify.. does she still have a boyfriend?Because if so.. definetly don't make the move.. I hate hate hate hate when guys make the move on me when I still have a boyfriend.. I think its incredibly disrespectful and I find myself thinking that he finds it ok to cheat.. when its not.But if she doesnt.. and you think she's a cool chick.. go for it! Dating is fun!

does she still have a boyfriend?Yes. The same boyfriend I almost helped her get over (then she went back, and I told her that I can't stop her). The same boyfriend she often refers to as "that motherfucker". The same boyfriend who she just had a 2 year anniversary with, and bought him a new puppy dog for.Yeah, I'm probably not gonna do shit.But the fact that I actually care is what I don't like.... I don't want to care, because I hate the feeling of this pain I'm feeling right now.

If she still has a boyfriend, then you are just setting yourself up for a fall. I don't know how to avoid the feelings though, but I would avoid making any moves at this time.

Yes. As all above said, don't make a move, especially if she is still in that forsaken relationship with 'that motherfucker'. I know exactly what your feeling. My advice, forget about her and move on! (even though that would be really tough)

Ay there S.S. Resident black man here, As sdp said, if you were to attempt anything AT THE MOMENT you'd be setting yourself up for a fall brah. I'm sorry to say but some girls just want to be miserable with the guy they're with. She refers to him as mofo, yet lives with him? I would just continue to show her that there are great guys out there, but she has to be the one to realize that he is not one of them. In the meantime, possibly search (haha you like that one, you know it) for someone else mang. Like dane cook says about some idiotic girls: "You just don't understand, I can't leave him!! It's not that easy....he has my cd's in his truck"!

Small update I guess: I haven't really made any moves on her, just chilling (in other words: smoking with her) as usual...I've decided that if I'm ever going to do anything (unlikely, unless something drastic happens with her b/f situation), I'm just going to wait for her to get out her b/f's house.I've let her know that I don't understand why she still lives there and things like that (I told her that more as a friend, though) and that I'll be there if she ever needs to talk.Yesterday we actually went to this little nature park around my area to chill (and smoke), and she ended up bringing that damn dog. Kinda awkward, but it was chill.

Hmm...she reminds me of someone....She is comfortable, she don't like it, but it is something she knows. Be there as a friend. Try to show her different ways, and let her get comfortable with ENJOYING life. Set a good example of what a decent guy is like. You can't make her change the way she wants to live, but you can show her that there are other doors to walk through. She may decide to bail on this guy, then, you might have a chance with her.Be ready for her to stay, and stay her friend as best you can. Eh, it can hurt either way, but what if, you make that friend for life through all this?

heh, that's exactly what I've been doing for the last 2-3 days. I'm basically trying to show her that there are much beter people out there than her b/f that actually care about her and want to help her out (I'm making it pretty obvious I'm that guy, so we'll see)I would actually say today was a step forward as I talked to her about how she could be happier elsewhere, and how I know she's not happy now... she agreed with all of it, so she's starting to realize that she needs to do something about her living situation.

Well hon, hang in there. A couple/few days isn't really that long. ESPECIALLY to change a few years of stuff.Comfortable is a hard thing to leave.