No change

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I've been here nearly 3 years and I haven't changed one bit. I'm still lacking any motivation or direction in my life. I have less of an idea about what I want to do with my life than I did 3 years ago. I don't do anything anymore, honestly. I have been sitting at home for months doing absolutely nothing. I have no job nor any interest in getting a job. I know that I need to get one and that I'll be getting money and everything, but I just have no will to do it.I'm still single, I hate it yet I have done nothing to change it. I repeated my exams this year after fucking them up last year, and I somehow managed to do even less work than before! So I'm pretty sure that college is out of the question, which I suppose is good in some ways since I had applied for some engineering courses simply cause my friends were there.I don't what to do. It took me two years to see a psychiatrist and when I finally did he was amazed at my complete lack of motivation. He said that it was because I don't have any fear of the consequences of doing nothing. Which is true, I have the mentality that altho doing nothing will mean that nothing good happens, it also means that nothing terrible will happen either.I'm starting to think that I can't change.

So you saw the shrink, did you continue?Nothing terrible can happen? What happens when your folks get fed up? Or worse, they are gone? Are you gonna be homeless? Your stuck in a comfortable rut aren't ya? Does it help if people around you are aware of what you want to do, and they remind you to "get going" or does it just piss you off that peops are nagging?

I really wish I know what to say.Is there nothing you have passion for? Nothing you have interest in? I struggle to find motivation alot of the time.. I can't really do much to save my life.. However, I love the idea of college.. the idea of change.. it marks the time in my life when all sorts of horrible things that have happened can finally and truely become the past. I am no longer limited by the person sitting next to me. We no longer have to explain what every sylable of shakespeare means to the idiots. In math I have to find a tutor and try to understand it on my own instead of it being spoonfed at an alarmingly low rate.Slowly I get to break away from my parents. I can ramble on but, the simple truth is there is a cause and effect for everything. How did you get the way you are?

No, I saw him once and he said that there wasn't actually anything wrong with me so there was no need for any further meetings.I am stuck in a very comfortable rut, I always have been. My family has never had trouble with money, we're nowhere near rich but my parents have always earned enough. I've never been punished in my life, not properly. I can't remember ever being given out to or punished by my parents, and in school I was never phased by discipline in school. I was almost expelled and I just didn't care.I usually just get annoyed at the usual "get going" comments because they have never worked. So I can sometimes become very aggressive, very quickly when people say it. Nobody has ever said something to me that truly motivated me to do anything.

How old are you? I can't remember. Maybe you need to get your ass kicked out to the street. That's a big motivator.

I actually took some interest in joining the army. But my ex girlfriend joined and the people who she hangs around with and the person that she has become because of it, it just put me off it completely. It might build character, but it seems to turn people into absolute cunts!

I'm the saddest 19 year old that you'll ever meet.

Quote:How did you get the way you are? I've always been the way I am, it was just never a problem before. But at the point in my life where I'm supposed to be taking control of everything, taking some responsibility, and I just simply couldn't be bothered.Maybe being half raised by my parents and half raised by about 20 foreign Au Pairs has caused this. Maybe its that my parents never punished me when I was smaller. Maybe its cause my classes were so big as a child that I got away for years without doing a single bit of work. Or maybe its all of them together, I don't know!

Well in Ireland you become a private, you march in the Paddy's Day parade then fuck around doing nothing for 364 days. Its a mind shittingly awful job unless you're going for a career in it, and I'd never go that way.Anyway, I'm far too much of a pacifist for the army.

Its an honest opinion. I'm a 19 year old guy who sits around at home all day, living off my parents and I can't get a job cause I have a seriously fucked up mindset that won't let me do anything that I don't want to do! If I had a drug problem or a drinking problem then atleast my behaviour would be seen with some sympathy, but I am perfectly normal. I am perfectly healthy. According to the psychiatrist, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, its just the way I am!

Well, what would you do if you were thrown out of home?

I had a discussion like this with the psychiatrist. If I got thrown out of my home then I have friends who will take me in. In that particular situation I would be able to go out and look for a job. Its just really sad that it seems like it would actually take something as extreme as being kicked out of my home to make me do it.

I think if it wasn't for the fact that I detest my parents I would be excately where you are age and all. I'm 19 and lazy as they come.. however, whatever it takes to leave my family.. whatever it takes to get into a better mindset...

I don't even have it as bad off as someone else I knew....

Hello there, meWhy do I say that? Because I used to think exactly like you, except I was thinking like that from when I was about 12/13 until I was about 16 or so. I felt motivated to do NOTHING at all, I just didn't care about anything.Everyone used to tell me I lack motivation, but I didn't care (just like you, obviously). I think part of ther eason you lack motivation is because you may see everyone going off to colleg and you're just asking yourself "Why?" and can't come up with an answer. Not just about college, but anything considered the "norm" in today's society.So how did I get over that lack of motivation? I was just tired of the same shit and nothing ever happening, and I sat down and thought about what I could do to change that. It took me a while to figure it out since I was trying to blame everyone but myself for nothong happening. Then I realized that nothing happens... because I do nothing. Everyday I did the same shit, and I realized that nothing else will happen if I don't change anything myself.From then on, I'm basically a different person.But one thing is different between you and me - you can live off your parenst. That probably does make it harder to get motivated to do something since you got it comfortable and you don't want to worry about a time when that stops (you probably tell yourself "I;ll worry about it when it happens", right?)

you sound numb......numb with life, tell what, sign up with a few sponsors raise money for charity and PARACHUTE OUT OF A PLANE, that'll get the juices going lol and it might just give you motivation, and you would be doing something great at the same time.

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(you probably tell yourself "I;ll worry about it when it happens", right?)

Thats pretty much it exactly. Altho for a lot of things, like my exams and such, I still didn't worry about them even while I was doing them. I felt nothing towards them.

I actually got some work for today and the next two days. I'm an extra on some future ITV drama called Rock Rivals or something. You can spot me quite easily, in the crowd scenes just look out for a girl pissing herself laughing, I'm the curly hair guy beside her.

That's a start!If you enjoy acting, you could try amateur theatre. It won't bring you any money, but it will teach you some of the craft, and also the discipline.

Thats pretty much it exactly. Altho for a lot of things, like my exams and such, I still didn't worry about them even while I was doing them. I felt nothing towards them.Well if your anything like I was, you probably don't see a point int aking exams (and school in general). Unless you want to end up like me (dropped out), I would highly suggest you start caring about your school work (tho I still don't, but that's just me).There's nothing wrong with having the "Worry about it when it happens" attitude, though a lot of people have told me that's wrong. But that doesn't mean you should get careless.For example, I drive around a lot these days (I live far from work). 95% of the time when I'm driving, I'll have weed on me (sometimes a lot, sometimes not, but weed is weed). Some people ask me why I'm so reckless and drive arond with weed all the time... am I not worried about getting pulled over? Not really. I'll worry about that when it happens. BUT... the way I drive, I'm ALWAYS looking out for cops. I seem to spot them easier than most (even in pitch black, I can still tell when one is aroudn). When I see one, I make sure I do nothing sketchy while driving so as to not give the cop a reason to pull me over.That's just an example of "I'll worry about getting puillde over when I do" but the fact that I know what's going on aroudn me at all times helps me. And plus, being aware of your surroundings requires me to turn my head maybe once or twice every minute or so (peripheral vision is great) meaning it's not hard to do and requires little effort (just an added benefit).I'm guessing you want to move out of your parents house eventually? Well, if you really do want to, you can make it happen. Go out, get a job (or two) and just work your ass off and enjoy the money flowing in.Once you have some money, start looking for a cheap place to live and then move out.Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can.

One problem, I hate crowds. Well, I hate standing in front of them. I pretty much hate performing in front of anyone except on a one-on-one kinda thing, and even then my performance is pretty shit. Or so my ex-gf would have me believe...

It seems like I have a downer for every good point, sorry if I'm making this too hard.