Alright, so it’s the first weekend of college, and I my friend and I both meet up with this girl that we kinda know from home. She’s not really hot, has some flaws, but pretty cute overall. She and her roommate were throwing a little party in the dorm with people they met earlier. We talked for a bit, exchanged numbers, nothing happened. Two days later I’m about to get some dinner and see that she’s online, I ask her if she wants to come with me and she says yes, so we just head down to the school caf. Conversation here went pretty well, awkward at times, but whatever. At this point I’m starting to get interested. We finish up and part ways. Later that night I’m talking to her on aim and she asks if I wanna come to her room to pregame, obv I do. Anyway, we end up staying in her room the whole night as nothing was really going on. It was just me and her, and we basically just drank and had some solid conversation. People end up coming in and out as the night goes on, and I find myself walking the hallways with her and 3 other guys at like 1:30 AM. I finally end up going back to the room with her to get my stuff, and I say something like “jeez I hope I’ll be able to find my way back.” (Her dorm is really confusing for some reason. I live in a different building a decent distance away. By the way I was hammered at this point and she was def drunk.). So she instantly responds, “Well you can stay here if you want.” So obv I jump right on that and end up sleeping with her. I end up making out with her, but no sex because she didn’t wanna wake her roomie on the 3rd night. I basically think I have it in the bag at this point though. So this was on a Monday and I don’t end up talking to her until Thursday. I don’t think this is really a bad thing, I was just very precoccupied with other things for one and didn’t want to come off as too aggressive and freak her out just in case the drunkness played a part in her decision (bad play?). Anyway, during this time I end up talking with some people and I find out that she can get pretty damn slutty when drunk. I felt this was probably true as she hinted at a promiscuous past in one of our conversations (mentioning that she had sex with some guy and regretted it. She was drunk). This kind of discouraged me and made me think that maybe she wasn’t very interested me and was just under the influence. On Thursday I do the same thing, call her up and ask her if she wants to get dinner, she says she ate awhile ago and wasn’t that hungry, but she’d let me know. Anyway she ends up aiming me when I get back to my room and asks if one of our mutual friends (prob my best friend at college) is going /w me. Let’s call him John. I tell her yes, and she says she wants to come. This kind of threw me for a loop - not sure what to make of this. So this ended up being standard conversation between the 3 of us. John is very quiet so I was able to talk with the girl a lot. At one point she kept putting her foot on my shoe, and I couldn’t tell if she wanted to play footsies or was just accidently bumping into me. The 2nd time she did this though, I looked up and she was staring directly at me, I gave her a smile and was thinking “ok so she prob does want me.” Fast Forward to Saturday, she asks me if I wanna get a bite to eat, I do, we talk. She mentions how she got absolutely trashed the previous night and was walking around outside. I jokingly say “did you wake up in your own bed?” and smirk (she previously mentioned something about waking up in some kid’s chair or something the first night...bad play?) She kind of sheepishly blushes and is like “no...I stayed at some guy’s apartment.” So once again this gets me discouraged, but whatever. We meet up later at her place and end up going to some small party at an appartment. It was pretty nice. We once again had some easy-going conversation but I was also trying to meet some new people as well, so I tried to avoid giving her all my attention. We end up leaving kinda tipsy and head down to some pizza shop. She mentions that she only has $2 as we order some slices. I say that it’s fine and I’ll cover the rest (It came to like $7 or something). I would have gladly paid for the entire thing, but didn’t want to come off as too nice/boyfriendish (bad play?). So we finish up eating and head back to her dorm and watch some TV alone.We’re both just a little buzzed at this point, she might be a lil drunk, and we aren’t drinking anymore. For some reason I decided to not pursue sex because I don’t want her to think that’s all I want from her. I legitimately like her (bad play?). So ya, we basically just chilled there and I started teasing her/talking etc. She mentioned that she wants to fight John (the mutual friend we discussed earlier. FWIW, they knew eachother alot better than we knew eachother coming here. Their parents are friends or something.) because she wanted to see him tonight (wtf...) So ya we basically just hang there for a bit and I head out when her roommate comes in an hour or two later. I can’t figure this girl out. She probably doesn’t want a relationship, but who knows, she’s been in them in the past. It’s actually fine with me if she doesn’t, because I’ll go either way. I just basically want to get close enough to her where I’m probably just a step above friends with benefits, but not boyfriend/girlfriend. Another thing is I’m not even sure if she is attracted to me. I’m terrible with picking up hints from girls, and I think that some of the stuff she does definitely hints that she wants me, where other stuff says she’s not interested in me at all. So basically, where do I go from here? Continue to pursue or give up? I really like her as a person and not just a sex object which makes this tough. With the weekend coming up, what would you guys recommend?
College kids + Alcohol = disaster.The only "bad play" I see is that you guys got drunk twice and you don't even know how she feels about you. You can't figure her out because you both are smashed. Have you tried talking about a relationship without drinking?Honestly, it's hard to tell what's going on because of the drinking. My advice is to stop and have a conversation about a possible relationship. You'll save you and her a lot of trouble if you bring it up and just be honest.
well thats the thing. Given her uhh...outgoingness I guess you could say, I can't bring myself to ask her about a relationship because I'm not sure if I even want that, nevermind her, and I don't want to ruin the friendship or whatever we have going by coming onto her like that which might make her feel uncomfortable. Say you were me though, what would you say next time i see her?And FWIW, I've hung out /w her without being drunk more than I've hung out /w her while being drunk, and I'm still confused.
Originally Posted By: themiracle555
I can't bring myself to ask her about a relationship because I'm not sure if I even want that, nevermind her, and I don't want to ruin the friendship
If you're not sure yourself that you want to take this relationship and turn it into something more, then the best thing for you is to forget about it and just enjoy your time with her until you are sure of what you want. I'm guessing you don't know her that well yet, so just give it time and see in a couple of weeks from now if you still want a relationship with her.