Hi yes, I'm new, I've been lurking around here for awhile but never posted. I would really appreciate some help here.Nearly 8 months ago I fell in love with an extremely special girl. I have no idea what did it but I loved it. I truely did love her. I cannot explain how good i had it.Although we went through our minor bumps, the relationship was basically perfect. But 2 weeks ago she told me something that happened many months before, she was seeing a guy behind my back that i hated. She regretted it till the night she told me.I clearly over-reacted. Many things went through my head. I shouldn't of even cared. I know she changed alot from then to now.But i couldn't stop thinking. Then it got to me that I didn't love her anymore. I just didn't. It dissapeared.. I thought it was just temporary because i knew how amazing she was and how much she ment to me.But 2 weeks on im still basically immobile. I have anxiety attacks nearly every day, thinking that I dont love her. She still loves me dearly. So, so much. I can tell. What the fuck? I have all the symptoms of anxiety. I am constantly thinking about her and if i love her or not. I know that when i do, rarely, get my mind off it, everything is fine, my thinking is preventing me of being normal. Sometimes I do have that feeling again. Especially when i'm with her, everything is fine. I love her when im with her. Thats why i hate this so much. I have no reason not to love her.I don't want to be with anyone else. And thats it. Our connection is so strong. Sometimes i feel like im contradicting myself with the whole matter. It's driving me insane.Sorry about the wall of text. I really need help. I can't concentrate at all.Thank you C:.
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Anxiety about the relationship - what's going on?
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FireeI'm going through the same shit as you, its just how relationships end, the stress and anxiety is insane! Its soooo hard to deal with! I almost went to the hospital when this happened to me because my chest was hurting and I couldnt breathe well sometimes...Just get lots of friends to talk to and keep yourself busY! Please listen, Dont go back to it, it will just happen again (i know from experience)You are lucky it was so short of a relationship , and not married etc...
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Thanks for the reply.Really? I have the same feelings, my heart seems like its caving in sometimes and it really is hard to breath.It's ending..? It has to end? I don't want to let go :(. I know it's still there, it must be hiding, argh! I've had most of all my memories with her in these months, I want it to be like that again. I'm just afraid it never will.Should i give it time?and I feel sorry for you. and yes im trying to keep busy :P
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I think love is a very overused word now days. And in my honest opinion if your love for her just "disappeared" over this little event, i dont think you really loved her. As far as the relationship i would try to talk it out with her or just give it time.And do you mean she saw this guy before you guys were together or while? Because if it was while you were together i would have let her go. Cheating is unacceptable in anyway form or shape in my book.
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Fiire. Quote: I know it's still there, it must be hiding, argh!Darling, darling, darling-That's what we all say! I was having anxiety attacks for about an entire 2 weeks a month or so ago. It was excruciating- School, work, parents, friends, crushes, bitches (excuse my vulgarity) ... it was all adding up.Think for a moment. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and really think. Why are you having these anxiety attacks?Is it because you don't want to hurt her? Is it because you're scared of being alone? Is it because you're pissed? Is it because ... ?Fill in that blank, fiire. Just fill it in, and figure it out.If your love just vanished, like you said, then you didn't love her from the beginning. It was lust, infatuation. It was a really long crush, basically. That sounded harsh, but please, dear, let it go. She cheated on you, you don't 'love' her anymore ... it would be safer and more successful in the longrun if you'd get out now. >.< I'm having a bad night, excuse my bluntness.What I mean is-Don't keep stringing her along if it's making you so upset. Come now, would you appreciate it very much if she had fallen out of 'love' with you, and you were still infatuated with her, and she strung you along for I don't know how long?Fiire, listen to me-Don't feel bad. She'll cry. She'll be hurt. She'll be upset. You'll feel like a guilty bastard. But in the end, you will be much happier, both of you. And if your anxiety attacks don't go away soon .... Go see a doctor. It could be something worse. All the best,Kat