i dont normally make posts. anyways, im so sick of feeling alone. no matter what, i feel like theres something missing. im never satisfied with myself, i always use my flaws against myself to make me feel like crap. most days im alone because the bf is gone. and i hate it. i cried myself to sleep last night. its getting to the point where last night i was getting impulses to harm myself. i used to do it when i was younger, and i thought i was finished with it, but sometimes everything gets to me and i feel like im gonna break.i hate the way i look, i hate myself in general. i just feel like a total failure. i cried for hours last night and today. the bf and i got in a fight last night. we made up today, but it really took a toll on me for the worst.i dont know what to do anymore. i dont know why i even made this post. i just felt like ranting. =(
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Wow, It's just too hard.
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you made the post cuz you needed to let it out. that's all cool. we all need to do that at times. making this post is better than finding something to cut your self up with.. at least it's what i think. my harming myself is what broke me and my girl up some weeks ago. i guess i understand.. i woudln't want her hurting herself. those long ass days i was without her were the hardist.. and longist days. i got threw them with out hurting myself. AND I WANTED TO so...........bad! but i didn;t so i knwo i can get threw that breakign feeling with out doing it. and i can thank her hard love for it. but shit it hurt. i'm not admittign that to her tho.
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yea thats true.im sick of feeling like this sigh
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Oh, honey I wish things will get better for you soon. Please, try your best to fight back those feelings of hurting yourself. CR is right, come here and rant on. It's a better outlet for you to let some fustration out on here rather than on yourself. You're such a pretty girl, so don't do it!
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thanks hon.
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I have the same problem as you. I am never satisfied with myself. I always point out my flaws and thats all i can seem to do and it just makes me feel like shit. I find new things wrong with me all the time and it just sucks.Its like im picking on myself too much. I also have really bad depression so picking on my physical flaws just makes it ten times worse and theres been times where ive just wanted to blow my brains out.The other night everything (Life, etc) got to me and i drank myself silly and sat out on the back porch and smoked some cigarettes. This was a day after my 18th birthday btw.When i was 15/16 i used to drink every night and smoke pot / cigarettes. Thats how i handled all my problems. Sit in my room all day and not come out til night, then i would binge drink and smoke when everyone was asleep.I cleaned up when i was 16 going on 17 and the other night was like a flashback of my past it was horrible.I guess what im getting to is your not the only one. Sometimes i feel like im the only one out there like this and i just wanted to let you know your not alone. Lately ive been trying to find the good in me and block out the bad and it seems to work. It just takes time. Just try to find the good things about you.Just little stuff like, "Hey i like my eyes" or "haircolor anything. Just little things to make you feel better and if something bad pops in ur mind block it out. Also i try to block out the media as much as i can as i feel thats the source of most peoples insecurities. Everyone thinks they need to look like a super model.judging by your avatar i say your a very pretty women. I hope things get better for you. Just for your own sake dont do anything stupid, its good you came here to vent. I do the same when i need to. Its good to just let it all out every once in awhile.
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hey hon thanks for posting that. it meant a lot.i felt so alone last night. =( i do anyways, but last night was really hard for me. when i was younger i used to drink pretty heavy and smoke pot a lot. i still do but less frequent. like... very rarely.
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I get exactly how you feel..I often feel this way. I have a big bottle of pills beside my bed.. and whenever i get depressed I always thinking about swallowing them until they're gone.I find myself depressed so frequently.. over things from my past.. deaths.. the way I look.. etc.I also smoke alot of pot. I told myself Im not going to smoke it as much.. only on weekends. (this was this weekend) and I havent smoked since sunday! I used to smoke 3+ times a day.
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woww. we sound alike..what you need is a goodfriend to talk to. serouisly.it helps a lot..let the little things goand try to see things froma different point of view.it may not work.just give it a try..