Effed-up fear

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I've been afraid of porn and porno-like stuff for a while but the fear is getting even stronger lately, i used to have an ex who was 16 and into some weird stuff and made me watch it with him, then when i didn't perform it perfectly well afterwards then he'd say he wished i was the porn star, i was 14 at the time.Im 17 now and am going out with someone who doesn't watch porn, but lately i'm having flashbacks and dreams, old feelings of being used are still lurking, and everytime i see something mildly pornographic, I freeze up and feel sick. I've managed to supress these feelings up til now- where i'm able to have a sexual relationship with my boyfriend (who knows about this stuff) without any problem until a couple of weeks ago but right now i can't do or look at anything sexual without my heart galloping and wanting to get away :SApparently this is affecting me now as im strong enough to cope with it but how do i get over it, any suggestions?cheers guys. x

I'm no expert, but I just wanted to say that whatever you choose to do concerning this, include your boyfriend in the process if at all possible. Your previous BF certainly didn't do you any favors by planting feelings of inadequacy in your mind...especially at such a young age. His expectations of you were not realistic. And remember, you are with somebody else now...somebody who looks on your differently and with different values, both in and out of bed. Talking to a counseler about all this can only be helpful.

That was well said, and I agree completely.

Thankyou so much ^^ that's really good advice- I'll follow x

What thor said, I completely agree.