Is it good or bad to be this close to your parents

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I have these two friends[who are brothers] and they have about the coolest parents i have ever met. They are more like friends than parents. My friends are really close to their parents, and i mean really close. They tell their parents everything, their relationships, problems etc. And they talk about sex like their talking about sex to a friend, not a parent. Their parents even let girls sleep over their house, in their rooms. Obviously they know they have sex and everything, they even buy them condoms. They also let them have parties and let them drink. They have even helped me lie to my parents a few times. So overall, is it a good or a bad thing to have this kind of relationship with their parents? I mean my parents, i would never talk about sex with them without being uncomfortable[my friend talks to his parents about getting BJs, like it's nothing lol] I don't think i will ever be this close to my parents. BTW my friends are 17 and 18.

that kid is sooo fucking lucky hahaha. but yeah, that's bad to be parents like that. if the cops come to one of these parties the parents will be screwed and arrested.

Actually it's happened already, and all his mom got was a warning.

Originally Posted By: RadBut, these parents appear to have actually crossed the line in allowing, if not encouraging, behavior that many would consider as not acceptable.Well, they still are good parents. It's not like they let their kids run around every night and day. They still say "no" to them sometimes about them going out. But i guess overall its not good to be that close?

They AREN'T parents.. they are buddies. I think they are poor examples.

Well Rad, his friends are 17 and 18 and once they leave the house, they almost become friends to their parents. The parents lose their right to discipline once they're not under the same roof. I noticed this with my mom and her parents. The occasional date out for lunch with her mom, but my mom really hated her parents because her dad is a big pervert and her mom never really acknowledged this or did anything about it. Personally I love the guy and he's really fun to talk to, but I wasn't a teenage girl growing up with him and girls need their privacy and all that so she still resents him.

Well it's not like their kids are fuck ups, so how can they be poor examples? They both have jobs, the 18 yr old is an ocean lifeguard, in a few months he will be a pro boxer, and in September he's going to be off to college. I mean sure that probably isn't the best way to be a parent, but that doesn't mean they are going to be poor examples to their kids.

Where does it say that? Once a parent always a parent. I am sure you have heard that one.They are still living at home and that is a terrible example. That is encouraging poor behavior. They have some good points in being open but you are not to be your child's friend.

Well you're right they all will always be your parents, but after you're like 30, they can't really "discipline" you. But you should still respect them and love them because if it weren't for them, you wouldn't be here. But at that age like 18, 19, 20, they stop being your "evil" parents and you start having a more friendly relationship with them.

There's no excuse in allowing kids to drink. But what's even worse is that they lie to the parents of other kids (like yourself). Who are they to do that? That's a huge slap of disrespect.That's beyond inexcusable.Poor examples in my view.

Well even at 30. If your mom yells at you when you are 35 and you listen that is her disciplining. Parents will always have more experience and will (should) always want the best and will feel the need to guide you as part of loving their children.

You can have a good relationship with your parents your whole life. You just decide on how you want to act.

They may not be "bad" parents, but the kids may have turned out well despite the way they were raised. If that's the case, then the parents are bad examples of parents, not of bad human beings.You can debate whether it's okay for a 17-year-old (or however young they were when they started) to drink or have sex based on history, etc., but I think sdp is right when he says they're more like buddies than parents; in other words, more like peers than leaders. Other then the fact that they occasionally veto their kids going-out plans, how do the parents differ from an older friend?

Originally Posted By: WalkenWell even at 30. If your mom yells at you when you are 35 and you listen that is her disciplining. Parents will always have more experience and will (should) always want the best and will feel the need to guide you as part of loving their children.You can have a good relationship with your parents your whole life. You just decide on how you want to act. Yes, if you're fortunate enough to have good parents, which is great. But there are some very awful ones.However "lax" and open parents may be at parenting, I suspect they would be very good companions when you're older and out of the house. They would likely be easy to talk to.

Well i only have a mother but i am very very close to her. I talk to her very openly about sex, details and all. I talk to her about everything. She gives me alot of freedom which ive always had and i believe thats because ive never broken her trust and ive never done anything to get that freedom taken away. Im allowed to drink, and smoke pot if i choose. My mom used to smoke pot alot (way before i was born) and my aunt and cousins are huge on pot so its kind of open in our family. But she would never let me get out of hand. She lets me drink and smoke but she would never let me do it to the point where it affected my life. If i become a stoner or alcoholic she would step in and take that privilege away really fast. But if my aunt is down and shes smoking pot im allowed to smoke with her, and if everyones drinking and having a good time im allowed to drink also. Im 18 though and im also very responsible.Im allowed to do these things but i generally choose not to. I have a few glasses of wine every once in awhile and i will smoke pot maybe twice a year if at all. Ive earned my privileges, and ive never done anything stupid to get them taken away.My mother has trust in me and knows i will always make the right decision, and if i was ever to mess up she would step in very fast. She has also always been a good parent. She makes sure i do good in school (even now in college) she makes sure i do what i need to do.There are definitely boundaries but if a parent chooses to let their kids have freedom and drink or what not that doesnt make them a bad parent. If they are letting their kids run wild and get blasted every night and miss school and stuff then thats obviously not good parenting. And as far as the lying thing thats not very good either.

Originally Posted By: MMAfighter90If i become a stoner or alcoholicDo you think it would be more likely that a kid would become an alcoholic or a stoner with lax parents, rather than strict ones?

Well HCI if the parents are allowing their kids to smoke and drink its probably more likely that they would become an alcoholic or a stoner because everything is handed to them with no consequences. But also its so easy to get either now days if a kid wants to smoke or drink their going to smoke or drink.It all comes down to the person. I was/ am allowed to smoke/drink and i for the most part make the decision to do neither. I will do one or the other every once in awhile if i feel like sitting down and drinking some wine or if i want to smoke with my aunt but thats it. I am an athlete so i dont want smoke in my lungs, and i dont feel like being hungover every day. The only thing i will drink is wine because i hate beer and hard alcohol.Like i said if someone wants to smoke/drink they will and generally its probably better they do it in their own household with their parents rather then going out to a party where something bad could happen (fights, unprotected sex, etc etc). But im not promoting parents letting their kids run wild, as i said there are boundaries and limits, no parent should let their kid get fucked up everynight and slack off in school etc.It takes alot of responsibility to make decisions regarding smoking and drinking, sex, etc. Speaking from personal experience i would venture to say (also ive proved) im responible to do any /all of the above.

I've always wondered. I've known kids who've had very strict parents, others whose parents were not at all strict, and it was not possible to predict by that alone who would get more involved with alcohol and drugs. Sometimes in a family with more than one kid, just one of them would have substance problems.I do remember noticing that the kids of cops tended to be really wild, but that's not exactly a scientific observation.

Quote:guys masturbating with broomsticks...) ...dare i ask? lol!!!

That's a date? I hope you dropped his ass like a hot rock.But then again if your that cheap of a date I have a gun collection, a pretty good art collection and a huge ass library that might get you in the mood. Then we can go down stairs to the basement rumpus room to make out as long as mom doesn't come down the stairs with a tray of brownies and some lemonade. Awww to be young and stupid again.

I think it's a good question too.One aspect suggested in your post but not explicitly mentioned is what the kids' personalities are like. In the thread so far the main emphasis has been on the parents, but children, even twins, have different personalities from a very young age, and it's clear that it's not just a matter of parenting.Usually if parents do their job at all, saying no sometimes and exerting some authority, their kids will find it difficult in their teens to see them as friends. Faced with the choice between being good parents and good friends, of course parents should choose the first. But it's possible these particular teens have the happy ability simultaneously to accept authority and to be friends, and if so these parents are indeed fortunate.They go a bit further than I would be comfortable with, but surely these parents are better parents than those who beat and abuse their children, or even those who bring their children up in a cold, strict, repressive atmosphere.