GF doesn't like to give bjs. Suggestions plz!

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My girlfriend hardly ever will agree to give me a blowjob, even tho I love when she does it. I don't want to force her into doing it, but everytime I bring it up she says no. If I get her to do it, it's always usually thru a long pleading process.Now I respect the fact that she doesn't like doing it, but I honestly really want her to, and don't know if there's anything I can even try to get her to be more willing to do so. I mean, she'll have regular old sex with me, no problem.....it's just this that she never wants to do...and honestly it really bugs me, especially since she might be the one i want to end up with for the long term. I know that might sound stupid, but....yeah. I don't know. That's why I'm posting here.

Not trying to throw any stones...just suggestions.It may be a hygiene issue, real or perceived. Try taking a shower together first, fool around a little bit in there, and then take it to the bed.Have you tried going down on her first? How does she feel about that?How about privacy? Does she feel that you might be discovered?Assure her that she won't get a cum bath. Some girls like cum in only one place.

Take her to Ann Summers and test some flavoured lube. I wouldn't be all that keen on giving a bj without it but it really does help in so many ways.

Originally Posted By: readytogoNot trying to throw any stones...just suggestions.It may be a hygiene issue, real or perceived. Try taking a shower together first, fool around a little bit in there, and then take it to the bed.Have you tried going down on her first? How does she feel about that?How about privacy? Does she feel that you might be discovered?Assure her that she won't get a cum bath. Some girls like cum in only one place. She refused to just the other day after we had both just taken a shower together. She oddly isn't too keen on me going down on her for some reason, tho I have offered she usually says no, altho she might have gotten over that by now, idk. But she generally doesn't ask for it and if I don't have to go down on her I generally won't, but since she doesn't really ask for it/like it I figure that doesn't really matter.

People have likes and dislikes and boundaries for all sorts of reasons. All you can do is respect her boundaries and hope that in time, as you two grow closer, she'll feel more comfortable in going beyond her comfort levels with you.

There's no shortcut to oral sex if she feels put off by it for whatever reason. This is where sexual compatibility becomes important. You have to reckon how important this is to you against how you feel for her. That's not an easy cipher. It's not wrong to want more in your sex life but you can't cross the boundary into forcing someone to give more than they're comfortable with.

It's not pretty but it's why it's important, when picking a long term partner, to find someone your sexually compatible with. Otherwise there could be a lot of frustration and resentment on the part of both individuals.

I'm not saying break up with her I'm just rambling on and extrapolating way off into the future, here.

Agreed with OldFolks, there's no way really to convince your gf if she really doesn't want to... personally, I can't understand it, as I love going down on my gf, and she loves going down on me too, but, I have to admit, I've been in the position before where my previous partner just wouldn't do it, and it really did frustrate me... not to the point that it caused us to break up... that was pretty much the no sex, and regular attacks both physical and mental against me, but that's a whole other story!!

You just have to work out if you're really compatible, if things aren't how you want (I can see that now, as I am a million percent happy :$ ) and see what you can do to change them, talking with her about why she doesn't like to do it would always be a good starting point, and finding a common ground, where she might like to do it... maybe she's scared you'll ram it down her throat, or maybe she doesn't want you to cum in her mouth... there are a myriad of reasons as to why she may not like it, only she can answer that!!

TBH, you're asking in the wrong place, because it's your gf you need to talk to... so go on, what're you waiting for? why're you still here??? Talk to her!!!

I guess nobody's ever dealt with a similar situation?

Huh? Originally Posted By: MDDracoI've been in the position before where my previous partner just wouldn't do it, and it really did frustrate me...

Originally Posted By: OldFolks

Huh?

Originally Posted By: MDDraco

I've been in the position before where my previous partner just wouldn't do it, and it really did frustrate me...

Sorry, i forgot I read that. I was just hoping people might have some more suggestions on anything i could actually do...

My current gf dislikes giving them as well, she says that it hurts her throat or sore throat which ever one, I don't care though, its not like she just doesn't do them she has a reasonable excuse, though she still does the occasional bj and when she does it feels amazing. Perhaps it hurts her jaw? You could ask though instead of a full on bj, just have her play with the head of your penis, lick it and such while jacking you off that would be a fair compromise.

Well, a random female friend of mine had this to say:Me: so.....my girlfriend doesn't like give me a bj...and that kind of depresses me. thoughts? >.>Her: I don't like giving BJs either. Has she tried giving them to you while you're lying down or sitting up or what? Like, what positions have you guys tried for BJs?Me: usually me lying downHer: Yeah, there's your problem. it's not so much that she doesn't like giving BJs, it's just that you are in a precarious position for her. If you can elevate yourself, or get in a spot where she is comfortable (ie where your dick is at mouth-level for her) she may be more inclinedme: like a chair?Her: Chairs are good; counters work; elevated beds. Make sure she's got some padding for her knees/legs, though... it sucks to be on hard floor for a while. Her: Now wait... does she not like to swallow? Because that's an entirely different story. If that's the case, eat strawberries, or other sweet fruit beforehand.me: lol, she doesn't really like to swallow, noher: Yeah, that's sometimes a turnoff. That stuff doesn't taste very good. Another thing... If you can really get her in the mood, try to make it sound sexy to her, she'll be more inclined to do it. Use some lines about how it's intimate and she's the only one that can do that stuff with you and shit... girls usually gobble that stuff up. Think: romance novels!Me: i've read TONS of those XDHer: Well good lol Use those for suggestions LOL Of course, don't be over the top... that would just ruin everything.

"I was just hoping people might have some more suggestions on anything i could actually do..."A) Talk to herB) Ask if flavoured lube might helpC) Talk some more!It's not a case of trying to convince her, just talk and try to find the reason why she doesn't like it. Does she think oral sex is dirty? Why doesn't she like it being performed on herself? Is she shy? These are all questions you should be asking her.

Okay, well sense we're only seeing each other more like like once a week at the moment, I sent her this message on facebook:Me: This may sound stupid, but I want to honestly have a talk about oral, and if there's any way we might be able to come to a compromise to make you feel more comfortable with it.Apparently there are different positions and other stuff we could try that would make it less of a pain for you.It's just honestly something I'd like to be able to have on a much more regular basis..She got back to me, but sadly not In the way I would have hoped..Her:I do not like it at all. It's not a physical comfort issue. It's more personal... I do not like the submissiveness of the act in itself. I am a more dominant personality and submission is not my thing. I protest it to every ounce of my being. I do however make exceptions to this, but not very often.. I'm sorry if I don't do it enough more to your likings.. but that is not something for you to decide when to happen for me. If you are not, you should be aware of the traumatic experience I had involving this... I have eluded to it, but have not told you point blank, which I was hoping I wouldn't have to do.. I was taken advantage of by an unnamed person a few years back when I had a complete psychological melt down... I was in no control of myself.. and was coerced into performing oral.. on multiple occasions.. and have not been able to get past what happened. There are times when I can handle it better, but other times I can barely keep myself from reverting back into a depressed, maniacal state. I only had self-treatment, and so far everything has been fine.. but even if I got professional consultation, it wouldn't do any more for me that what I have already done. I have come very, very far over these past few years, so all i ask is that you respect my wishes.Anyone have any comments or anything?

Originally Posted By: albeitmyselfAs a rape victim, and an oral rape victim...I'd say, dude, you've gotta respect her wishes. It is an extremely hard thing to get over. I would say more but I'm exhausted and having a bad day with my own traumas anyways. I really don't know to the extent of what exactly the situation was. I've been going out with her since December and anything she's mentioned hasn't been very informative at all. But she never implied that she was "raped".

Well, she says she was coerced and it was traumatic, so if it wasn't legally rape it must have been something close to it.

I still don't even really know how I should reply to this, it's really taxing on my mind right now..

You can express your sympathy, and sorrow that it happened to her.

Ok I'm going to be completely blunt now. Stop acting like you're the victim and sympathise that she had a bad experice. Ask her to open up about it. And unless she feels pressured into giving head or you're ramming it down her throat, she shouldn't feel submissive doing it at all. I find it quite empowering that my man trusts me with his penis in my mouth surrounded by all my teeth.

Bottom line is... She doesn't like to do it.. doesn't want to do it... and probably won't do it much in the future..

If you're that hung up on getting blowjobs and can't get over it, then move on and save everybody a lot of heartache.

Agreed.