I just need to have a rant about it so here goes.....It's coming to the end of my 2nd year of uni and I'm now on study leave. This is probably the most stressful point in my degree because my 2nd year marks will deturmine weather or not I get into my first choice od major for my third year, and it's very compeditive (The one I want accepts only 20 people).I'm just so stressed out and I feel that I've spread myself so thin that I'm really just at the very edge of giving up or spazzing out or somthing bad, I donno.My final project that counts towards my major next year is driving me fuckin mental. It's a group project and since it is my concept and script and everything, I'm doing all the organising and paperwork and everything and compartivly, the rest of my group are doing fuck all except turn up to shoots when I tell then and do what I say. It feels like banging my head against a brick wall trying to orginise everything for this with no help or support. The third year assigned to project manage our group is never around and is doing sweet fuck all so I'm doing most of the work for my group AND everything she's sposta be doing too! GRRRRRRRRRRR! AND I had to organise a fucking re-shoot because the dick head team mate Who was doing sound DIDN'T RECORD ANY FUCKING SOUND DURING OUR INTERVIREWS!, interveiws I spent ages organisjng and come up for questions for sigh it's so frustrating and I want a neeeeed sooooo badly to do well at this, I know I can because this is what I'm good at but it's such a fucking uphill struggle when your carring your own weight as well as that of 4 other people.On top of that, I have an essay worth 40% and due in 4 days which I've done shit all on, an assignment with a partner which I'm just so over and an exam which I will only have 4 days to prepare for. sigh I know I shouldn't bitch and complain, because thats just how it is, But holding it in makes me so furious at myself and my group members.I just really really need to go a friggen good job on these things, not fuck up this weekends filming and so on and I may just live long enough to see the summer holidays........by which time, I will have to find myself a job and get ready for summer school sigh
I am a stress bunny
Ok, before I go to bed, An email from our project manager has just reminded me of this: Never trust anyone because everyone is incompetent and fuckling useless unless you run around after them and tell them what to do.
Not only did she fuck up our equiptment booking, which I managed to fix, but now shes fucked up our editing booking. I hope there are still edit suits free when I go to fix her fuck up on tuesday or, if it's possible, sunday because if theres is not I'm going to fucking murder her ass!
Ahh...precisely why I hated all the group work that was required in grad school. It's an ugly reality.Hang in there. All the extra work you're doing is worth something. Muddle through, drink lot's of coffee, think of the outcome...whatever you have to do. You sound like the kind of student who should easily be one of the 20 chosen. Good luck.