My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. The excitement in our sex life has dimmed quite a bit. It's just not the same when you live together and see each other every day and you are super busy.So when we are lucky enough to both be horny at the same time I want to take my time and enjoy it for a LONG time. I even suggested trying tantric sex. Don't get me wrong. The sex itself isn't bad now that I've found my self confidence and can orgasm at least once sometimes twice. He always waits for me and does his best to please me. But as soon as i'm done then it's his turn and we are done. Our entire sexual encounter lasts no more than 15 minutes. Why? No foreplay, no savoring. He even said that the end is the best part and he just can't wait to get to it. With an attitude like that it just seems like he wants to have sex rather than make love. I would like to spend at least ten minutes on foreplay. I'd love to watch him maturbate but he's too embarrassed for some reason. I think he's just not very sexually comfortable. Maybe he can still hear his ex girlfriend laughing at him in the back of his mind. I dunno.He won't give me oral no matter how hard I try. He has done it once or twice but he's not any good at it because he doesn't like the taste maybe? I don't know. But I've touched myself and licked my fingers before and I'll tell you what, even when i'm at my not so freshest it can't taste nearly as bad as semen. I finally told him that I'd give him head but if he wasn't going to return the favor then there's no way in hell I'm going to try to swallow.And when we finally do get to the intercourse i'd like to take it slow at first. Enjoy the feeling. Enjoy being THAT close to him. But as soon as I get on it's go go go. Get yours so i can get mine. How can I get him to slow down? I want him to enjoy the intercourse before the orgasm as much as I do.
He's to fast.
Originally Posted By: serenitymoonwolfMaybe he can still hear his ex girlfriend laughing at him in the back of his mind. I dunno.How can I get him to slow down? I want him to enjoy the intercourse before the orgasm as much as I do. Why did you say that comment? Is this something that actually happened? Because if it is, then this is absolutely the reason why he is so fast.If in his past he has been laughed at, it will have done deep-set damage to his confidence.As such, he probably loves sex, but does not feel AT ALL comfortable with it.This would explain the lack of foreplay, and his race to finish as soon as he can, so that he can get dressed and be covered up again.In his mind, he will be thinking that you are analysing his performance, wondering why his penis is small and looks as weird as it does. Is he too fat? Too thin? Enough muscles? What if he pulls a weird face? Are you looking at his arms? Why are you looking at his arms? What's wrong with his arms?!Do you see what I mean? Chances are you're not thinking any of those things, but he may have been programmed to be self-conscious.I know because that's what happened to me. I am over it now because my girlfriend is REALLY good at reassuring me. I could be rubbish and I would have no idea because she makes me feel so secure.So rather than get annoyed with him and how fast he is, try instead to make him feel more comfortable. Tell him how much you love something he does. Say he does it well. Don't overcompliment else it will seem fake, but just say things every now and again and he will eventually feel less self-confident.Of course I could be way off the mark in which case ignore me!
If you're concerned about how you taste or smell down there, then wash often and watch your diet. Pineapple juice and reducing protein intake, especially red meat, will make a huge difference in the taste of your "goods".
Have you told him you like to be teased? Maybe you can ask him to tease you until you beg.
On to the sex...
A couple of things you might be able to try. Do you think he would be agreeable to getting tied up?
The other thing you can try is riding him a certain way. While you're on top of him, rotate your hips while only the head of his penis is inside of you. Rotate 2 or 3 times and then bring yourself all the way down where he's completely inside of you. Then bring yourself back up to where the head of his penis is all that is instide of you and repeat. You need to be in control while doing this, maybe even tell him your the boss before you even start messing around.
I LOVE to tease a girl until she's beyond begging. Pouting is entertaining. You've teased her for so long that she's almost lost hope that you're going to have sex with her. She starts thinking you're just playing with her mind just for your messed up kicks and giggles.
But why am I like this? Because I REALLY feed off of my girl's pleasure. I've been with girl's that aren't comfortable with themselves and don't react to me. In those cases, it's hard for me to get entertained by it. If she moans a little bit and shows me the tell tale signs that she's loving what I'm doing to her, then I'm all in.
Some guys really are all about getting theirs. At least he let's you get yours before he gets his though. Good luck!