At a funeral

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I never paid attention to this before..........I dont know why but I dont feel sad or any emotions when I attend funerals. I see others crying/sobbing or consoling the family members, but I dont even feel anything. I feel sort of numb, doesnt matter who died (close relative or one of my friends).

Recently one of my highschool friends died in an accident and another girl (not my friend but she was my class mate) committed suicide. I just felt numb and was listening to what happened to them in details (and watching a movie playing of the incidents in my head and analyzing what made them die).

Is this some sort of severe depression? My mom thinks I emotionally cutting myself off from the outside world.........is this whats happening?

Dunno, neveer bored me much either to be at funerals. It's probably fatal

I think it's common, actually. Lots of people feel numb. The movies create a culturally expected reaction, but real people can have all sorts of different reactions.

That doesn't mean your mother may not be right, but it would need to be happening in other situations to really know. (And even if it were true, sometimes under high stress it's an important survival tactic.)

I dont feel happy or cheerful when others are talking about happy stuff.........like weddings, birthdays, parties. I am feeling numb all the time. Everytime I open my mouth for a decent chat with my family.......I end up talking technical stuff or mechanical.......anything to do with electronics or machinery.........worse I start topics with postmortems as a main subject or surgery. They dont get one thing I say but my mom atleast listens to my chattering, she asking me to see a psychiatrist.

I think its just a different way of communicating. I don't think there is, particularly, anything wrong with it.Who cares about idle chit-chat anyway.Numbness can be a symptom of depression.

Originally Posted By: OldFolks
Who cares about idle chit-chat anyway.
My mom does.........and she thinks I am not normal.
She often gets angry and asks me to go to my rooms and not come out..........I feel hurt cos I wanna be with her but she only talks about people and I dont react like she expects me to (giggling, with aww, ahh, wow, really.......kinda stuff) :scream\_cat:

Taking nothing away from your mother, did you ever consider the reason she may react like that is because your talking over her head. She may not understand or at least doesn't understand why you find that kind of stuff interesting. It sounds like, to me, she wants to communicate with you but is frustrated by her lack of ability to do so. It's no so much a matter of chit-chat being important as it is a matter of maybe not knowing any other way to talk to a young lady.

I talk over the head when I am excited about something new..........thats very rare though.She gets angry cos I keep quiet and if I react "mom why do you care what the neighbor did" its like "go to your room, you are no fun to talk with, why did I have such a daughter".I dont talk about anything of the sort she doesnt understand with her--I know she wont comprehend anything I say.......nor will my dad ........I keep my stuff to myself.She thinks all girls who giggle and laugh/cry are normal. A silent one is nuts.

Then perhaps your mom needs the re-adjustment. People come in all different flavors.

Yep.........my psychiatrist even gave some counseling for mom and tried to make her understand and my dad to..........but cos I am their only child.......and a bit on the weird side........they just keep asking me to be more normal--like others. I try and I fail at being normal.......but I am happy the way I am.I am only worried about the numbness I am feeling.

Well, I think it's okay. I think, as well as Ineligible thinks, that it's more of a coping mechanism. I just went to see a doc, who told me that I didn't have to have a surgery, and I was happy, but it didn't really show. Sometimes, it's probably just normal. The media is a powerful thing.And I'm happy that you're happy with yourself.

YOU SAID : ***She gets angry cos I keep quiet and if I react "mom why do you care what the neighbor did" its like "go to your room, you are no fun to talk with, why did I have such a daughter".***What if... she responded to you with.... "why do YOU care about blah blah... ? What would you feel then? Perhaps just listen to Mom too, even IF you think talking about what the neighbor did is stupid. It is important to MOM, instead, try something like.... "Yea Mom, that was pretty lame what the neighbor did, huh?" See what happens.. maybe Mom will lighten up and want to talk to you about what you like to talk on too... worth a try, and may open up the dialouge between you and Mom, you think? Thanks for reading, Mia

YOU SAID: I am only worried about the numbness I am feeling.Did you ever cry in private for your friends, whose funerals you went to? Do you ever miss anyone whom you knew, who died? Mia

Whenever I go to funerals it's usually mainly about recollecting on good times and celebration. I don't remember crying at many funerals. If it's someone dear to me I usually don't cry till about... 2 weeks later when it hits me. When my chio (uncle) died I was just confused and then literally the day after the actual burial I was balling for a week and drowned my misery in Lord of the Rings.

When my cousin and his girlfriend and child were killed I didn't cry until two weeks later and I had been a wreck. Just recently I've begun to recover.

I'd describe myself as being numb. Realization doesn't set in for a while.

YOU SAID: I'd describe myself as being numb. Realization doesn't set in for a while.----Numb is, not even having realization set in.....Because your realization doesn't occur until about 2 weeks later, doesn't make you numb...it makes you human. Everyone "realizes" in their own time, and own way. That's what "normal" ( real ) is too. Thanks for sharing, Mia

Originally Posted By: MiaMiaDid you ever cry in private for your friends, whose funerals you went to? Do you ever miss anyone whom you knew, who died? Mia Nope.........I didnt cry in private or publicly.Nope.........I dont miss them either cos I know they are dead.I only feel numb.

YOU SAID: Nope.........I didnt cry in private or publicly.Nope.........I dont miss them either cos I know they are dead.I only feel numb.--- Whoa... could be a heavy defense mechanism going on. Or, you could be very depressed to the point of no feelings. How could that occur? What has been going on in your life to get you to this point? Do you find it hindering, bothering, or outright annoying? Do you think you should go to counseling? If so, have you? How does it help? Or not? Cheers, and have one on me. MiaMia