Parents are lying pieces of shits

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I dont know that actually. I think a child should respect their parents and their elders yes.

I agree to a point, that point though is where the elder has earned their respect, and remember there is a difference between treating someone respectfully and respecting them.I don't think a child should automatically respect a man who abandon him just because he is his father. Anyone, regardless of who they are, earns our respect. We don't just give someone respect from the get go. We respect our parents because they set limits on us and held those limits even under our extreme protest. We respect our parents because they provide for us even when they don't have to. We respect our parents because we know we can rely on them. They have earned our respect through the their diligent parenting.A parent who spends all the money for food on crack is someone a child, while still loving them, more than likely isn't going to have a lot of respect for, at least in a vein of being reliable and providing for their needs. The same thing can be said of a parent who constantly tells a child on thing and then doesn't follow through. Imagine a father who, throughout his child's formative years, constantly said, "I'll see ya tonight, we'll go to the game tonight, I'll be at your birthday party" and never follows through, never shows up, except for the rare occasion. How much do you think a child would respect a parent like that?Now, none of this means you don't treat your elders respectfully and we have no reason to believe that 25 doesn't, in person. Their actions can still frustrate him, anger him, and add difficulty to his life, should he just bottle that up? I don't think so. I think he should be able to come some place like here and be able to vent and say how he feels and get out the anger that he has to deal with because his parents didn't follow through on something they said they would do.I think this community should be tolerant of people who feel they've been wronged, they may have no other outlet for their feelings.

I'm a parent and I agree with Scotty. Promising something and then ignoring the promise is poor parenting. It is cruel, and it teaches a poor lesson about promises and honesty. Of course there can be good reasons why a promise can't be fulfilled, but when there's a good reason it should be explained. When there isn't a good reason, the promise should be fulfilled, even if it is inconvenient. (Parenting is all about inconvenience.)I think if parents don't treat their children as people, they can't expect to get back what they don't give.

I'd like to add another point that I think is relevant.

When children are very young, they are very dependent and there is much they need to learn from their parents, including things for their own health and safety. However, the aim of bringing them up is to change all that - to turn them into people who are independent. The relationship between parent and child needs to change with time to reflect that, and if it doesn't something is badly wrong.

It is perfectly normal, as part of developing independence, for teens to be difficult and start asserting independence even when they cannot fully exercise it. It is part of developing the new, more equal, relationship there must eventually be between parent and child when the child is an independent adult. It is also a signal to the parent to start the letting-go process. I would worry much more about those teens who are always polite and dutiful - they may not be developing the mental independence they need.

I think this thread has been really interesting. It gets into the ideas of how parents should behave, what is best for teenagers development and the reason why this forum is so valuable to everyone here. 25 gunz was out of line with the way he slammed his parents and yes if they read it it would have been a problem. (I too slammed him for what he wrote). But I think its really interesting what Old Folks brought up, that this website is where people write to vent. I too look at some of my posts and go what the hell was I thinking, these people are going to think I am sad and pathetic. The thing is though, about 40% of the time I would write it because I was feeling highly emotional. The stuff I would write about as well as the way I would write it would be highly determined by what I was feeling at that exact moment. A lot of the time after I would write the post I would be so relieved that it was out of me that I would feel instantly happy again and that bottled emotion would be out of me. Basically what I am now saying in light of reading the above posts and looking at me is that what we write here is a fraction of our life and personality. We are not going to really understand the person purely from what they write here. If he is a brat or isn’t it shouldn’t matter, I wont judge so quickly next time since we have no idea how he feels now. This might have been the way he vented his angry so as not to backlash on his parents even more.

I completely understand how the OP feels in regards to parents breaking promises. But I agree with Steph that he has absolutely no respect for them at all. My dad has been breaking promises since I hopped out the womb but I still respect him. I don't go around throwing tantrums and cursing him out. Instead of wasting all the energy on unnecessary rantings I find a way to solve the situation myself. That's what I've been doing for the past 6 years, solving the situation myself.You can't always rely on people. They're only human.

Again, (wow, this get's so much use!) people are better than no people. But I do to, you bring up good points J...

I read somewhere that kids learn one of two things by the time they are 3 years old:#1: "It's MY JOB to please my parents."#2: "It's MY PARENT'S job to please me!"(Which one do you think this guy learned??)

Neither of those would be good principles to go out into the world with.

Originally Posted By: 25 Gunz i live in canada. I know I got in on this thread really late... but after reading all of your posts Mr. 25 Gunz. Perhaps what you stated above is your problem.:o)That was supposed to be a bit of humor....I'm a parent myself. I have promised the kids things and then had to renig but I had good reasons for not being able to deliver. Sometimes kids don't know the whole story and couldn't handle the reasons why..All they care about is why we didn't come thru...So many times there much more to things to it then you believe or know. I can't talk for your mother or father, but that's how it is in our house. I don't burden my kids with all of the crap that goes on in my life and supporting my family. They don't need to know that stuff. Their too young!