Mom getting married

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My mother is getting married this summer to a man whom I can't stand to be around. They started dating when I was 20, so it's not like he has been around that long. We have a mutual dislike for each other, he has even yelled at me, and put his finger in my face. He is lazy, selfish, and just plain rude. My mother calls me at least twice a month crying and telling me that he took all of the money, and didn't come home all weekend, and I can't even count all of the times they have split up. I am constanly giving her money to pay her bills, because he doesn't contribute to money towards the bills. I am very dissapointed that she is marrying him, and to top it off, she has asked me to be in the wedding. This is something that I really don't want to do, but when she asked me, I told her that I would think about it, only because I don't want ot hurt her feelings. If it were up to me, I wouldn't even go to the wedding, that's how strongly I feel, but I would never hurt and humiliate my mother like that. So anyway, is it my duty as my mother's only daughter to be in the wedding, or is it acceptable to say no?

If you don't turn up, the wedding will still go ahead, and you'll just end up estranged from your mother. I would tell her though, well beforehand, that you won't give her any more money. Otherwise you'll end up supporting both of them.Be prepared to help your mother pick up the pieces at some time in the future.

fuck that shit! you beat that bitches ass. anyone touches my mom that mother fucker will being fucking taking nutritional drinks in his fucking veigns because his fucking jaw would be shoved up his ass. fuck that bitch, kill em.

true man, if i were u, i would go to wedding and see whats up, than if she called me again with a problem like he took all the money, oh man oh man i would be there in 5 mins and sit there with friends and baseball bats drinking tea waiting for that fucker to come, even tho if my mom said dont touch him, i would NOT listen to her cuz women think its their fault all the time that the man of the house is beating her or leaving. So i would just beat the shit out of him so hard, than i would give him a warning, he would probably fuck off, if not (which is very rare) than i seriously would do something crazy cuz my mother is everything to me. By the way im 16 and i am male.

As ineligible said, voice your opinion strongly to her about your disgust with is past actions, and try to find out “why” she actually wants to marry this man. Also ask she to put the bill’s into his name… it’s a mutual relationship as so should be the expenditure for their home. But as has been said, be ready to pick up the pieces… (lol remember there is a part in the wedding when it’s said “is there any reason why this man and woman shouldn’t be wed… (something like that lol)”

oh and say no if they want more money... I know, I know, it's hard to say... but sometimes needs must.

you should probably just be in the wedding... your mom will make her own decisions regardless of what you say... and chances are, if they've broken up so many times the wedding might not even go on.

You don't really have a right to just tell her no, but what you can do is talk to your mother. Sit her down and tell her how u really feel about this. Her reaction may not be that great but you don't want to hold this all inside. Voice your concerns about how this man makes u feel and ur observations of which you have seen him make her feel. If your mother still choses to marry this man the ebst thing to do is just go to the wedding and be supportive of her. Shes your mother and although we can not like all of eachothers decisions when it means that much to someone especially someone so close you have to support them n e ways. But at the same time you can't stay quiet about how you feel.

It's hard to talk to my mother, because she gets incredibly defensive and sees everything as a personal attack geared towards her. She just phoned me to ask me if I would help him file for unemployment benefits on the computer because he doesn't want to have to go over to the office to do it. He also doesn't want to work. He was offered a 4 month position in another province, where he would be making $1200 a month, but he decided to pass it up so that he can sit home on his ass and collect a free cheque every two weeks. Anyway, when I politely told her that I had some work to do, and wouldn't be able to do it tonight, she called me an ungrateful bitch and hung up in my ear. So tell me how i am expected to talk sense to her.

If she is like that all the time, I wouldn't be talking to her much at all.

Some people just have to go to the school of "hard knocks". Apparently she's blind to the obvious. Perhaps I'm wrong, but sometimes you just have to let things run their course and then be there to help pick up the pieces.

I have had simaler problems with my mother and ido know how you feel now i dont even talk to her and when we do its all sugar coated just to keep my grandparents happy...when they aint around we dont hardley talk or if we do its not very nice words i do hate the relationship i have with her but well its happend now and thats that i guess i now live hundreds of miles form her so its kinda easy to forget it.

Although ur mother may take it as a personal attack confront her for your own benefit. At least you can say you tried rather than just thinking "what if" I think your mother should realize that her daughter would want to have her best interest in mind especially when it comes with marring some dude. I think she has to somehow realize that you care about her before she will understand anything you say to her. Maybe you two should have a mother/daughter outing just to break the ice a bit start talking about things in your life and things in hers. Maybe ask her for advice about something a little personal that might require a little judgement. Maybe then after she speaks of something along the same lines you can then more easily open up to her about your feelings about this guy. Although there is a good chance that that might not work just give it a shot anyways. If your mother is truely that thick headed to not listen to her own daughters concerns its her own loss.

i am reposting my last comment. beat that mother fuckers ass.

I know how you feel when you say it's hard to talk to your mom. My mom used to be the bitch from hell, I mean we used to fight like it would never end and tears and just the whole deal. But one day I just got really sick of it. I told her that we needed to talk and we sat down in the living room and talked for what seemed like forever. I told her she couldnt say a word until I was done, because for once she needed to listen to me. I told her everything she was doing to me and what I thought about it and everything else that was going on. She actually listened to me and she took what I said into consideration and now we're like the best of friends I agree that maybe a mother/daughter outing would be great, go out to lunch or somewhere where maybe you can talk about what is going on. Let her know everything and dont hide anything from her. I think that maybe after this you'll have more of an idea on whether or not to go to the wedding, and if you talk to her about how this guy is doing, maybe it will be called off. Who knows this world is one crazy place but it is your pick whether to go to the wedding or not. I'm not really sure if I can tell you to go or not because I'm not in this position, but i do think that the whole mother/daughter outing thing is a good idea..and you have to make the best attempt you can to talk to her..