The strangest thing is happening to me right now and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in a dream I can't wake up from.
Right before I left for Christmas vacation I started to feel attracted to my best friend / roommate (also a guy). I didn't understand it, and still don't. I'm in my early twenties and I've only ever thought of and liked girls.
I went on vacation and I started to do that thing that only those who have feelings for someone do, I couldn't get him out of my mind. Constantly thinking about him.
He just recently entered a relationship with a girl, but this isn't the first time I've seen him date. It can't be jealousy because I'm strangely happy for him, but it's killing me to watch this at the same time.
I've been having mild panic attacks and not sleeping this past week because this whole situation is freaking me out. Everything was so different just a couple weeks ago. But now I don't really see girls in the same light, but at the same time, I'm not eyeballing other guys either. Just him.
I have no idea where this infatuation came from. He's my best friend and roommate, and even though he's done and said some questionable things regarding his sexuality he's more than likely straight.
We are extremely close friends, I've never connected with another person (even on a friendship level) like this. I have nothing but the best times when I'm with him. I don't want to lose my best friend over this.
I don't know what to do. If it seems like I'm leaving something out, please tell me and I'll fill you in. I just need help with this. Where do I go from here?
Straight guy falling for straight best friend
Hey. Welcome to AfraidToAsk.
The situation you find yourself in is not that uncommon. It happens to both guys and girls who develop a deep bond with another person. Relationships can be one sided all too often. It seems like you've invested much more emotion into your friendship than your friend has.
Try to understand if your feelings are actually you falling for him or if you are possibly jealous that he's spending time with his new girlfriend and not you.
You need to have an honest conversation with your friend about where your friendship stands in relation to his new girlfriend.
On the other hand, you really need to sit down and think about your own sexual orientation. It's not a bad thing to question yourself. You'll come out of this a stronger person.
Keep us posted on what's going on.