Ok, here's the deal. I finally started dating this girl that I have been talking to online since March. We have been seeing eachother for about a month now, and things are going pretty damn good. Well, she just recently got in touch with an old friend of hers who was interested in meeting up with us and playing cards or something, and he would try to get this girl to come that he himself is trying to hook up with. Well, it just so turns out that this friend of hers has a roommate... who just happens to be her ex boyfriend. Ok, this is where it gets complicated (for me anyways) a few months back, we were talking online and I confessed something to her, nothing that would damage our relationship, just something personal that I thought she should know. Anyways, she was really cool about it, and I told her that she was too awesome to be true, and this is where it gets bad. She tells me she isn't as good as she seems, and that she is still in love with her ex boyfriend (the roommate that I mentioned earlier). Ok, I excepted that fact, and just moved on, nothing major, everyone still has feelings for their ex's, right? But, now she wants me to go to the apartment where this guy lives, and me knowing that she still has feelings for him, im a little worried about that. Ok, so she can tell that im not to keen on the idea, and says that she just wont remind the guy about it and that would be that, but I felt like a dick, so I explained to her why I was a little upset. I told her that I wasn't worried about her, because I trusted her, but more that I was worried about her friend and her ex. Obviously if this guy is rooming up with her ex, they are good friends, so I am worried he might try to slander me behind her back, and try to break us up. Well, she responds with "You are a good boyfriend where it counts, anything that they could trash you about doesn't matter to me anyways"... that line right there made me so happy, none of my past girlfriends have ever talked to me like that, they are usually just there. Ok, so I agree to meet her friend, because who knows, maybe he will turn out to be a cool guy, and im pretty sure I could kick his ass if I really had to (not that im some ego maniac looking to beat someones ass, but when they are intimidated by you, it's less likely that shit will go down when you in their presence). Ok, this brings me to my dilema, sorry for the long ass build up, but I had to get the story out so the rest of this would make sense.Ok, so on sunday we were hanging out at her house, watching some TV and what not, and holding eachother. I have been thinking about what she had said the night before, about me being "good where it counts" and I guess I looked way to far into that statement, as I usually do, and took it the wrong way. I was laying there holding her, and I wanted so badly to tell her that I loved her, haven't done it yet, after a month of dating, because I wasn't sure, and it was still pretty early, ya know. But yeah, I had a past conversation with a good friend of mine where I asked "when do you tell a girl that you love her" and his response was "when you know", well, right then, I knew, so I decided to finally say it. What response did I get???? NOTHING. Now, im not expecting her to say "I love you too" especially if she doesn't, and im actually happy she didn't say it only because I said it, but at the same time... anyone know how it feels to say "I love you" and hear nothing back, nothing at all, not even a "aww", NOTHING... it's unimaginable pain that runs through your heart. I later apologized if I was rushing things, and she told me that I could feel how I wanted to feel, just understand that we are on different time lines when it comes to that, and I totally understood, plus, I know that if/when she does say it, it will truly mean something. But, my question here is, do I not say "I love you" anymore to her until she finally says it to me? Cause I don't want to scare her away or nothing. I really don't regret telling her, because I do love her, but I regret doing it so soon. Like she said "you can feel however you feel" so does that mean I can continue to tell her I love her? Gah, im so confused. All I know is that I don't want to lose this girl, I seriously cannot imaging life without her now, she is the first person I talk to when I wake up (we chat on AIM, she doesn't like phones) and pretty much the last person I talk to before I go to sleep, and one of the few people I talk to throughout the day... she is my life. BTW, im not some high school kid, I am 21 years old. Love is a word that I have thrown around meaninglessly throught my years of relationships, but this girl is special. Usually when I tell a girl I love her, it's within the first few days, and it doesn't mean anything more than something to say when I get off the phone with her, but with this girl... I couldn't bring myself to say it until she asked me if something was on my mind. It took her asking me to finally say it, all because I was so nervous about how she would react. Any other girl, I would say it no problem, because worse case scenario, I don't have a girlfriend for a few weeks, but with her, I kept imagining her freaking out and breaking up with me, which is what held me back... Gah, anyways, thanks for reading all of this, sorry if I have wasted anyones time.
I have a slight problem that I need advice for.
um ok .... im tired from reading that long post but ..... I think youll know wether to say it or not, just follow your heart and nothing should go wrong, youll know when to say it
hmmm ... show her that u luv her but don` tell `er `till she sez it