Should i just give up?

---

hi my name is emily, im 15 years old and i want you guys advice on something. any help is appreciatedim in love with a guy for almost a year now. hes my close friends older brother and hes one year older than me in school. at the start of summer he developed feelings for me according to him and as july and august rolled around he began proclaiming that he loved me. which is a bit intense but i enjoyed it. most of our conversations were online during summer because i didnt have the chance to see him much but when i did he'd be extremely happy and he'd always be blushing. im aware he visited an old girlfriend for a week before school and its not been the same since. (im not sure if that has anything to do with it at all) we're gradually drifting apart and he's not as "emotional" anymore, so to speak. we rarely talk, i see him for about 3 minutes a day and im restricted mostly from using the internet except fridays saturdays and sundays so i barely catch him online. were drifting apart now, and although he occasionally still says he has feelings for me i dont know what i should do. (keep in mind we never hooked up cause of his sister). should i just let him go? still be his friend but try and ignore any feelings for him? schools really hard to go through when i see him carefree with other friends and knowing im still in love with him. cant concentrate on any classes because he's always on the back of my mind. help?

It does sound like he is drifting away. I think you need to speak seriously with him, to find out if the drift is because you're not seeing enough of each other, or if it's something else. If it's something else you'll just have to accept it as one of those painful things that happen in love.One thing that worries me is that you said "we never hooked up cause of his sister". If his sister is enough reason for not having a relationship, then there can't be one at all. If his sister isn't enough reason for not having a relationship, then it should be a full one. A half-relationship doesn't really work.

I can see how it would be easy for him to drift off. You two really don't even have a relationship. Maybe his visit with his old girlfriend made him realize that he's missing out on what a real relationship has to offer. It's your choice of whether you should actually get into a real relationship with him or not and get over him. Just remember, you're 15. There will be other people.

It sounds to me like he has still has feelings for his old gf but i dont think thats anything to worry about unless he starts avoiding you and going to see her more because who doesnt have feelings for a ex- sometimes right??

youre right. we never had anything even close to a healthy relationship. its hard though because as odd as our friendship/relationship was, the feelings were still there. what i meant by his sister was we cant get together officially because thatd make his sister/my friend uncomfortable and my friendship with her means alot. i guess it was doomed from the start? but we're both too stubborn to let go. atleast i am. i feel like he's leading me on unintentionally. alot of the times he doesnt even acknowledge im there and other times hes noticing when im not around. he talks alot about me to my best friend too (ie. i wanna talk to emily, i miss emily etc). so this is why im confused. i want to talk to him about it but i dont really have the opportunity to, and if i did i wouldnt know how to bring the subject up and exactly what to discuss. another thing, i find myself WANTING to avoid him lately. its odd. i think i subconciously want him to miss me... its not normal, is it?

That sounds very normal, though men hate it when women do that sort of thing. It seems like playing games.

In reply to: another thing, i find myself WANTING to avoid him lately. its odd. i think i subconciously want him to miss me... its not normal, is it? Ineligible made a very good point on this. It is pretty normal for a girl to do this, but by many men it's considered mind games. Mind games can be the worst thing a girl can do to a guy. In reply to: i want to talk to him about it but i dont really have the opportunity to, and if i did i wouldnt know how to bring the subject up and exactly what to discuss If you want to have a conversation with him be completely honest. Tell him how you feel about the whole thing. Tell him what you want and ask him what he wants. Whether the input be good or bad, at least you'll know where you stand.The very first thing you should do is decide whether you want to proceed in relationship with him despite his sister's feelings. Maybe you can talk to his sister about it.

his friends are now trying to hook him up with a girl and he just told me that abit ago online. kinda upsetted me, and yet he STILL said "the only girl i wanna be with is you. and theres really only one other girl in the school id consider dating besides you." and all that. he said he's 'waiting' for me and waiting for the situation to allow us to be together. and i just dont get it. why cant he stop being half/half? he needs to either completely give me up or persue me. i cant take this 50%/50% crap. it confuses me.what can he be trying to pull?

Maybe he's trying to get you to do something. You're pretty much staying 50/50 by being neutral. Either go after him or don't. Someone has to make a decision sometime.

IMHO if your friendship with your friend means anything, then you wouldnt do anything with her brother. Relationships come and go, but friends mean something. If you did get together with him, then you will most likely lose your friendship.Good Luck though.