Shyness

---

Is there anyway to over come this..i just am plain sick of not being able to make friends like i used to be able to..im sick of not goin out everyweekend! im sick of goin all red when a pretty girl talks to me. what can i do!? why have i become so shy!!? why!!

I believe you need self confidence.. or feel better about yourself.. Maybe. Start working out? Might give you a little boost.. or just start doing it more often? ( going out)

Do you have the option to take a commuincations class or public speaking class at your school? That class really helped me out a lot.

They have classes for stuff like this? WOW.. What don't they have classes for?!

Sometimes you just have to find it in yourself, but most of the time that won't work...so I'd go with the classes...but sometimes you just have to go for it, something will happen, who cares what does...

what i did to get over my shyness is but my self in situtations where i have to talk to people it worked for me...

I am great at making friends, and talking aloud, but stick me infront of my 6th form class and im a jibbering wreck!

Hey heavens, i know wut u mean. I remember finding it hard to keep compusure when i had 2 like do stuff for my business corse at A-Levels.What it was for me was i in an 'iffy' phase at the time anyhow but the main thing i have a problem with is spouting shit out loud and being wrong, i don't like being publicly wrong if y'know wut i mean, but still im more a small group/individual talker person i don't like competition and usually i know what im talking about The only way to overcome shyness is to be yourself, be comfortable being yourself and if u have problems talking to fit women just talk to loadsa fit women, eventually it'll come naturally. Besides, everyone goes red from time to time

I think the key is to learn how to relax and be yourself. When you're at home I'm sure you act different. Why? Because youre relaxed and you think, "no one's around, so I don't care what I do".Like an ealier post on this thread, self-confidence can help. Working out and such will make yourself feel a lot more presentable.Another thing is a lot of females like you when your loose and able to talk to them. If you can't think of anything to say, ask questions. If they ask, "why do you ask so many questions?", just say, "well, cuz I want to get to know you". Works like a charm for me.

Try and forget that people are there if you are speaking infront of people. Just look at the wall behind the people and avoid eye contact if you have to. Eventually you'll be aable to glisps down without much of a problem. If you are having problems one on one remember that being shy is just a part of who you are, the person you are talking to realizes this probably and they most likely dont care or maybe even think its cute. Use it to ur advantage in the dating relm. But remember you dont need to impress any one so however you fear you come off doesn't matter, just be you, and eventually u'll have enough confidence not to be shy anymore.

just to add on, i am also very shy - i hope this is just a phase?

I notice that everyone around me has conversations fine, but most times i find when I try to have conversations they are just awkward.

There are usually uncomfortable silences on the telephone and in real life - i dont know what to say!

it seems like i never know what to say, so im pretty quite. when i do say something, it can invariably get ridiculed for being stupid.

in high school now, was made fun of so much in middle school.

i hope this wont effect me for life -

like i said, shy, not exactly outgoing, uncomfortable in some situations, ......

i hope there is a way to get over this without goign to conseling or taking drugs.

like someone says: "whats up?" what do i say? Usually, nothing is up - so i say nothing. The conversation ends there.

Ur shyness may be just a phase but maybe you can work to improve it. Start with close friends and then move outward.

Funny thing though, I was the complete opposite of you. I was made fun of through middle school and was shy all my life. When high school came I am very out spoken and join all sorts of things. I still don't feel well liked but i do it n e ways, but hey thats just me.

Elementary school I talked a lot. Middle School I got shy (I guess it was due to everyone seperating into groups and all). High school I talk a lot again. The difference between middle school and high school is I started to not care as much about if people liked me or not, cuz most of the time people did like me, and for those who didn't, that's their problem.

I wish I knew what to answer to "what's up". The only answer that seems to make sense would be "my penis", but that usually isn't up.

My usual response to "what's up" is "nothin much" and then I ask "what's happenin with you latley". That usually strikes up somewhat of a conversation. If not and it feels awkward due to a silent moment, I ask a question. Questions are always good.

thanks guys...so one day i'll just wake up and won't be shy?And starting with close friends - see thats the thing.I'm in many activities and I have many friends, people who would consider themselves my friends, but I have no close friends.These friends seem more like aquantences than friends - im fine with them in school, just afterwards they seem to not want anything to do with me.I am close to some friends - but what I mean is that I have no group to hang out with or whatever. I always feel like im on the outside. I've never hung out at the mall with a group of friends or gone to the movies - ive never been invited.I'd feel awkward trying to invite myself into a hangout like that, and they would probably accept just beacuse they feel sorry for me - more awkwardness. The most contact I have with friends outside of school is talking to them on aim. Halfway through highschool, I suppose I'll try to get myself into a group of friends early on in college - too late i'd say now, or is it?

Why don't you ask one of these friends to hang out with you separatly. Maybe you can become closer to them or another one of them through time. Its never to late to have a group of friends, and it you cant through highschool college is a great time for you to get in the social circles. But no one day you won't just wake up and not be shy, It will probably just slowly fade away.

Isn't it funny how everyone says 'notin much' as a reply to 'what's up' but then when asked 'what's going on' or another follow up question that means the exact same thing people actually begin to talk? I guess maybe we don't want to seem self centered on the first one and wait for it to go through the cycle.

Hanging out at the mall doesn't usually require an invitation. You probably haven't been invited just because they think it's something you don't do. Turn up. Making friends requires a bit of "push" from your side - it's the way it works.As you get older, friends come and go. Never feel it's too late to have a group of friends, because they are always a bit fluid anyway. Then when you go to college everyone pretty much has to start again, because the people they are with are different.